Macca Night, Stockport, Exhibition Entries

A ram-packed Paul McCartney tribute night on Thursday. A great night of great music. My rendition of 'Women & Wives' went well. I'm inspired to record it as a cover, as my version is sufficiently different. This project has filed my mind but there are challenges. I'd like to play lots live, but I only have so much space for huge recordings, one track per song really. It's not so much a memory issue as ultimate storage space, I don't want to store massive songs because I have a large quantity of output, it's not efficient. The backing is quite repetitive so it makes more sense to sequence it. I've already created a few sounds on the MODX, I may sample those or re-create them again in Prometheus. I played it live with a heavy saw-synth bass on the Microkorg and it was a challenge to duplicate (well, a close copy) on the MODX.

I prepared an equally ambitious synth version of 'Live and Let Die', but there was no time on the night. A pity, as all songs bar one were Beatles songs, only mine and one other was a McCartney solo song, and there were no Wings songs. I hope to play 'Live and Let Die' at a future Good Vibrations event. Here's a photo by Deb of the 'Hey Jude' finale:

Slow days between. I feel lacklustre and not in a visual art mood. I've updated my websites today, and the IndieSFX licence, to explicitly exclude the use of sounds for AI training. The old licence (and all of the sounds) pre-date generative AI. I'm spending time each day tinkering with the MODX, making new sounds here and there, but this is often time wasted. When writing a new song it's best to think of the sound needed, then make it, rather than make a sound and then write a song with it.

Half of yesterday was spent going to Stockport to collect the 'Song of Innocence' painting. I've heard that two paintings have been accepted into the first Crewe Create Open Exhibition. Also, the biggest tribute website to H. Beam Piper, zarthani.net, has added my new portrait to it today. This has inspired me to contact a few other Beam Piper enthusiasts.

Telepathic Day 2, Rehearsals

A second half day of glazing the Telepathic Daisy painting yesterday, then treated the oak Blood of Winter frame for woodworm. There's no indication of woodworm apart from a few ancient holes, this is a preventative measure for the hardwood frame after advice from Zoe from the Oil Art Advisory.

Today, a second Fall in Green rehearsal for the Morecambe Poetry Festival set, and for the Paul McCartney night tonight. I decided at the last minute to have 'Live and Let Die' in reserve, so quickly looked and played/sang that through. I noted that in this and 'Women and Wives', the song ended with the first verse and chorus repeated, and Hey Jude too for the most part (the coda replacing the chorus repeat).

I'm also helping a lot with my father's name change. Everyone calls him Damien, buth this is his middle name and he's decided to make to removal of his unused first name official as he got really annoyed at its use during his recent hospital visit. This is causing me and my mother lots of work and stress for what we consider to be a trivial matter. Not a huge job, but lots of little jobs that take up and break up each day over several weeks.

Telepathic Daisy Glazing

A slow and difficult day. Glazed the sky part of the Telepathic Daisy painting but made many clumsy mistakes in my room including dropping the ultramarine, causing it to eject a line on the carpet like the result of a lunar meteor strike! This stain is now a permanent mess. I didn't at any point feel like painting, my energies here are slowing off, but I must and will continue until the season ends.

I mixed up some test wood stain but the ethanol I bought for the purpose didn't at all dissolve the oil paint I'd planned for this! I need bottles to test different solvents. I'd fully expected the paint to dissolve easily and quickly. I regret buying the ethanol at all. I should have bought either isopropynol (which I've used often and know to work well as, for example, a Laropal A81 solvent), or methylated spirits. I expected the denatured ethanol to be meths, but it's not.

Made a new sound for some of the Fall in Green tracks, how I love my MODX! 'We Used To Store Sunlight' has strings on the lower part for the left hand backing, with a wind-chime for the lowest note for occasional accents. There's a triangle-wave arpeggio on the upper octave which matches the one in the recording, and a melodic lead of a flute for the right hand. A press of the AF1 switch and the flute switches off and a piano appears for the second half of the song. If I light AF2, I get a second piano an octave higher for the initial piano appearance. It's a full orchestra at my fingertips!

Rehearsed for the Paul McCartney night and made some financial moves. A frustrating day that felt terrible at all times, yet I can see that there are positives. Nobody knows, in the long term, whether a day is good or bad. Things done today may be crucial to success in ways that only hindsight can determine.

Live Music Rehearsals

Today, rehearsed my songs for the Paul McCartney night on Thursday, and for our Fall in Green set for Morecambe, a full day for small performances. The McCartney song I chose, Women and Wives, is piano based but I only have a puny (in range and polyphony) Microkorg, so I've decided to do a synth version with distorted saw-bass playing a riff almost like a doom version of 'Smoke on the Water'. A fitting alternative version.

The Impossible Hopes Of Sisyphus Tracing, Aspirations of Brilliance

Frame completed yesterday. The painting is now framed, but ideally I need a (very large) backing board for the frame. I can't afford it.

Today, a full day tracing the large Sisyphus painting. This is close to the largest painting I can manage without upgrading certain pieces of equipment. Over 1200mm, I'd need a larger drawing board, and spend more on the Polydraw film, as it's width is 1016mm (of course, this can be the shortest side, but that is a bit wasteful, in this case I used a shorter 841mm roll, but there's not much left on that). So, 1010mm is a reasonable maximum for longest side. 'The Impossible Hopes Of Sisyphus' is 1097x740 visible, the canvas is 1117x760.

For these works on Top Gun canvas I trace with the Polydraw and use oil paint, pencil won't stick to the waxy canvas. I used a new technique today, applying the paint with palette knife which was far faster than the subby brush along each line. It still took several hours to trace, but not as long as some works. I recall 'The Art Of Painting' taking many hours spread over 3 days to trace. This is of comparable complexity and took about 4 hours.

I feel artless and uncreative. My instincts and cries are all for music. It's a tragedy that the things I could make are being lost; this feeling last night inspired me to work on the painting today. It's a tragedy that the things I am making are being lost or unseen or unheard or ignored.

I feel I could do better, that everything is weaker than it could be. Every time I finish a painting, a piece or music, a piece of writing, it seems far worse than planned, far worse that I feel I am capable of doing. It instantly becomes a failure, yet that shame of failure generates an inspirational energy. The anxiety of the failure induces an aspiration to make the artwork again, or make something new, something similar, something better, and trying to do it as well as I'd planned, as well as I know that I can; and yet everything I complete generates the same feeling, that it's good or bad, but never as good as planned, and I'm again filled with the shame and knowledge that I can do far better.

Today I'm tortured by that feeling constantly. That everything is a failure and yet simultaneously know that I'm capable of much more, much better, if only I could somehow prove it.

Two days ago I watched a film called The Killings At Outpost Zeta by Robert Emenegger, a man who is perhaps the Ed Wood of the 1980s. Actually, from what I've seen, his films are worse than Ed Wood's. 'Zeta' is a cheap copy of Alien that is so immensely bad that it borders on hilarious, though it's usually more boring than scary. By chance I've also seen Beyond the Universe, which is perhaps the worst film I've ever seen, yet so bad I just had to keep watching. In that film, the Earth is running out of oxygen. The government plan on sedating everyone to save oxygen, but the 'world's best scientist' decides to overrule their plan and build a giant laser-gun-like weapon to beam a message beyond the universe to 'God', to ask him for advice (that's right, asking God for advice was his entire plan). I mention these films because no matter how bad I feel that my art is or has ever been, it is still at its worst far better than either of these films.

Punishment Of The Sun Frame

A day of making the frame for 'Punishment Of The Sun'. A complex work, as the edge has to be bevelled and gilded, something I've rarely done, and not yet on plain wood like this. First step was working out the bevel depth. It's a matter of angling the wood lengths on the worktop and running along the sharp edge with a power-plane. Then planing that edge and sawing the 4 pieces by hand using a floorboard saw an an old iron mitre. The sizes were calculated using my Frameculator software to spare me the mental working out each time.

Then distressing and staining the frame. It's much easier to paint (sponge) each length before assembling the frame. I chose the colour to match the somewhat dried and cracked buddleja wood in the painting.

Then masking off the bevel and applying gold size and gold leaf.

Then peeling it off. The edges of the gold are a little rough. This can't be helped unless the gold is trimmed with a blade, it's impossible to get a 'perfect' edge. Often this roughness, and marks and gaps in the gold, is simulated on painted frames. The edge is rougher here because I didn't apply a framer's gesso ground beforehand, but I didn't want to; that's a whole extra layer of work, a few extra days.

I'll let the gold dry properly overnight. I have a few options for that rough edge. I could leave it (I'll tidy the gold a little when the oil is dry, rubbing it smooth now would create a sticky mess). I could add paint, or tape, more distressing, or a host of options. All of this took until 15:30. I'd often make a few frames in a day, but have none planned for the moment. I try to frame as needed now as unframed paintings take up less space.

Trips and Outfits

Three busy away days complete! Yesterday, collected a new lot of wood for framing - my next job is to make a frame for 'Punishment Of The Sun'. Then, a trip to the Good Vibrations event in the library followed by an overdue visit to the Oil Art Advisory. I took along the recently completed Kafka portrait and it was immediately hung on the wall. I wore more interesting clothes for the day and feel I should do this more. Couture fashion has always been part of art and is an important part of every artist as well as every art movement. My outfit, I think, improved Good Vibrations, made it feel like more of a special performance by all.

I'd like a head mould for my head so I can make custom hats...

Most of today was tidying and completing admin work for the past three days, plus an update to my framing software Frameculator, adding various preset sizes of wood, as I now often use two specific sizes.

Trips

Trip to Macclesfield yesterday to have my father's First Day Covers valued. Today, a coach trip to Gloucester. We met Kev Milsom, a long time writer for Ink Pantry.