Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Dark Energy from Lost Light

Dark Energy from Lost Light

What happens to the light that shines out from stars but does not hit anything, light beams that keep going off into the black edges of the universe? If the light never hits anything it gives no evidence of its existence, a beam that hits nothing is identical to no beam. Energy was used in its generation but instinct tells me that only the act of detecting the light would cause it to be, and that light that is never detected and never encounters any object does not exist because it is identical in every way to no light. The definition of this "lost light" is that it is not ever and cannot be detected.

Could this lost light return its energy somehow and become what we know as dark energy? How much light from stars is destined to encounter nothing? There are not many stars and planets for a beam to hit but space dust and thin gasses might provide a target for a measurable proportion of the light emitted by all stars to hit. As atoms are tiny perhaps a huge proportion of light is destined to miss all of the atoms in the universe.

Perhaps the amount of lost light is the same as the amount of "dark energy", the name for energy that accelerates the expansion of the universe. If my instinct above was correct then the energy used to generate lost light might not be expelled in a beam that is fundamentally undetectable but instead used to provide some motive force or gravitation. How ironically named it would be if dark energy was made by light!

Saturday, October 28, 2006


"I myself have proved it to be of no small use, when in bed in the dark, to recall in fancy the external details of forms previously studied, or other noteworthy things conceived by subtle speculation; and this is certainly an admirable exercise, and useful for impressing things on the memory." said Leonardo and this I have been accidentally doing for years. My ten years of meditation, visualisation both two and three dimensionally was actually and by chance my practise and training as a painter and not mere spiritual fancy. The mind control and patience learned from this diligent meditation was invaluable and the most important, and vast, difference between the me of today and the me who studied art at school and was at best mediocre. Mental control, the ability to remain calm and staid for hour after hour during consecutive days is as vital for a classical painter as patience and faith (that is confidence or self-belief).

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Blood in the Ballroom

I wrote a new song at about 5am, which unfortunately made me tired for the rest of the day. Anyway, it's a dramatic tango in A minor and E minor called Blood in the Ballroom.

I never wanted money,
I only wanted you,
and in that firey summer
we promised to stay true.
But then I found another,
is she that girl I spy?
I wish that she would die!

The seconds tick to minutes
as I watch from the car.
The party people enter.
I wonder who they are.
I think about the passion
but was your passion bait?
My passion lives as hate!

I blink into the ballroom.
My dress is scarlet red.
They see the gun and panic,
I point it at his head,
he begs me not to fire,
so I don't shoot him dead.
I shoot myself instead!

Monday, October 23, 2006

Sequel to The Spiral Staircase

Over the weekend work continued on a new musical project, a sort of sequel to The Spiral Staircase which will sound more orchestral than my other music. This week though music is on hold while I finish off one of the three paintings that are in progress, Swan Dive. The rather blandly coloured Station Of The Future is technically my latest painting, but that was painted all in one go for a competition that is near its closing date. Swan Dive, The Apotheosis Of Terror and a cloudy one with a title I can't decide on need to be done soon because the days are getting shorter, I'm limited to painting between 9am and 4pm. Next week I hope to do the cloudy one and continue the music.

Friday, October 20, 2006


Today's news mentioned the insecure European gas supply. I had an idea of a solar powered robot used to extract hydrogen and oxygen from seawater. The amount of gas extracted would be very small, but a large number of simple robots would make this feasible. The robot would float on the surface, solar panels upward. electrodes on the outside would convert the water to hydrogen and oxygen, storing the gas in the body cavity. When full, the robot would use the three propellers on the outside to swim underwater and dock with a pipeline or mother robot to unload the gas. The light hydrogen might demand a heavy robot, perhaps a float on a cable could lead to the surface, making the up and down trips less energy intensive.

Penalties Selected for One Love

I'm happy today after some good news. Firstly "Penalties", my entry into the One Love art prize, has been selected for the Lowry exhibition. Secondly I started work on some new symphonic music. I'd been planning the music all week, and trying too but without much success. The start is the most difficult thing because it involves balancing out lots of different parts and getting the important music inspiration correct, the transliteration of emotions into audio. Imagining the music is easy, I could write a full symphony in my head in less time than it takes to play it, the hard part is slowing things down and remembering the exact feeling for each part while one goes through the slow and laborious parts of writing the thing down (and or sequencing it). It's segmentation and planning and is probably only a problem now because of my new way of writing. Before I started painting I would play around in the sequence until I made some music that sounded nice, then modified that. Now though my ideas have changed and I first think of the emotion or concept, then let the music form itself. That part isn't difficult but, as I've just mentioned, getting that sequenced and sounding good is tricky.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006


First I thought I must continue the renovations to Bytten (which needs some database changes and research into php strings), then that I must make some sound packs for IndieSFX, then that I must start a new symphonic CD that I've had planned for months, then I thought no I first must clear out the half finished tunes in my Noise Station projects folder (some date back to 2003!), then I thought no I must create a new album of minimalist songs, then I thought no I must finish the two half finished songs I've got written (the sequel to The Ben Crawley Steel Company and a new one called Hey), then I thought that I must instead compose a third painting to complete a triptych of terror together with the two paintings I've got in progress because it would create a fitting end to 2006, then I thought that first I must finish those because each will take at least a week, then I thought no I must first finish another painting, a self-portrait as clouds, but then I thought no it's more important to photograph the London Underground painting, but then I thought that priorities must go to signing a new contract with BeatSuite (a royalty free music website that has some of my tunes on it), then I thought no I should prepare for the release of Gunstorm II, or more efficiently continue on chapter six of my grand interactive fiction story because that really needs to get finished and has been in progress for three months or so. In the end I decided to type these things out instead so I can more sensibly and logically prioritise them but now it looks like its nearly 9:00 so I'll go and watch Horizon instead.

Byts and Bobs

Well IndieSFX has been updated and my latest painting (for the London Underground thingummy) done. I've spent the past few days sampling some previously unsampled sounds from my synthesizer, always useful. I'm also trying to do some of the technical database things regarding the up and coming upgrade to Bytten. After that, and the conversion of some of the old reviews, comes the design which is probably the only interesting part.

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Just One More Day in Sweden

I'm starting on a small painting for a competition tomorrow, run partly by the London Underground the task is to design an underground station of the future. With luck it will be finished in a week (although the rules state that the entry picture will not be returned, very strange for a serious art competition). My idea is sound enough, and my usual symbolic overtones should make is the perfect compliment to the V&A's surrealist exhibition, which they hope to promote. Another new song below, a simple melody with everything written off the top of my head.

Just One More Day in Sweden

How can I love you?
How can I love you
when I am away?
Please tell me
how I can love you,
now that love you
twice everyday.

I want you here
in Sweden,
but you can see
it cannot be.
I'll be back soon
from Sweden,
and then
I will show you

How I can love you,
how I can love you
when I am at home.
I'll show you
how I can love you
when I am with you
not here alone.

I'm far away
in Sweden,
thinking of you
nothing to do.
Just one more day
in Sweden,
and then
I will be with

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

My Cat Doesn't Understand Death

Here are the words to my latest song, inspired by the thought that a cat can miss people but (probably) not understand where they've gone when they die. I added a double meaning about a failed relationship (the music is rather like a country and western ballad, sort of slow and swaying). This is my 290th song since I Love You For Your Money in 2002. Perhaps I can manage to hit that 300 total this year.

My Cat Doesn't Understand Death, She Only Knows How To Kill

Thankyou for the gift.
What do you want me to do with it?
Now go and play with the kids.
Don't look confused,
I am the one who is not amused.
You do not know what you did.

My cat doesn't understand death,
she only knows how to kill.
My cat doesn't understand death,
she only knows how to kill.

Lying on the floor.
What do you think that the bed is for?
You have no clue what you've done.
Happy and content
beside your victim who's cold and bent.
No happy days in the sun.

My cat doesn't understand death,
she only knows how to kill.
My cat doesn't understand death,
she only knows how to kill.

Dining is a treat,
I have the carrots you have the meat.
It's all we do as a pair.
Bite every bit.
You play the hitter and I the hit.
It's not as if you can care.

My cat doesn't understand death,
she only knows how to kill.
My cat doesn't understand death,
she only knows how to kill.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

I Keep Soldiering On

In my recent low mood my subconscious wrote a stirring song for me last night to boost morale. It's a simplistic military march with hymnal qualities, it even has a plagal cadence at the end of the chorus:

I Keep Soldiering On

What I'm told to do I do.
Where I'm told to go I go,
through the burning heat and freezing snow.
When I have to fight I'll fight.
When I have to die I'll die,
and I will not ever question why.

I keep soldiering on.
I keep soldiering on.
I keep soldiering on.
Though the road is hard and long,
I will sing my soldier's song
as I keep soldiering on.

What I need to know I'll know.
Where I need to be I'll be.
All the great wide world is home to me.
I will journey far and wide.
I won't run away or hide,
and I'll do what must be done with pride.

I keep soldiering on.
I keep soldiering on.
I keep soldiering on.
Though the road is hard and long,
I will sing my soldier's song
as I keep soldiering on.

Monday, October 02, 2006

Anaerobic Chamber News

My latest construction project is this simple anaerobic chamber, which when combined with a candle to burn off the oxygen will help me store my painting media in an oxygen free environment (which is useful to preserve an exact viscosity). My painting phase is over now. My annual plan was based around approx. six months of painting to test the water and learn (it would be inefficient to work a bit here or there on something when the goal is to learn). Game sales are very low now though and perhaps I've wasted too long on pointless projects. Oh well, it could be said that van Gogh wasted ten years. I hope to do some music and sound effects during this month (although Steven is still very slow at coming up with the vocal recordings I need, it looks like The Journey will take over two years). After that I must start on a major game again. Part of me thinks that a new game would be a waste of time too given the way things are going, and given that of all the things I've done my games (which I've spent longest on) are probably the thing I'm least good at, but I suppose life itself is pointless.

Sunday, October 01, 2006

I Saw It

Now I'm getting back into musical mode I've been writing a few more songs. This one is very catchy musically and fast, the chorus is a bit like the one in Echo Beach by Martha and the Muffins.

I Saw It

I saw it on the TV,
but that was years ago.
It was so far away but
closer than I could know
and it left nervousness around.
There was a motion in the ground.

One night I had a vision,
I saw it in a dream.
A dragon made of iron
fighting a man of steam
and you were lying on the ground.
I woke up crying out aloud.

I got the message on the Saturday
I hit the motor and I sped away
and in an hour I was almost at our home.
I stopped the engine as I saw the date.
The distant flashes said I was too late.
I thought of you and then I sat down on the shore
and saw the ocean go.

I saw it on the TV,
too far for me to care.
Reporters spoke of victims
and people in despair.
I turned it off to read instead.
I kissed you then I went to bed.

I got the message on the Saturday
I hit the motor and I sped away
and in an hour I was almost at our home.
I stopped the engine and I saw the date.
The distant flashes said I was too late.
I thought of you and then I sat down on the shore
and saw the ocean go.

And now it's on the TV
They say it's everywhere.
They say we should not worry.
They say we should not care,
but it leaves nervousness around.
I hide my panic underground

as I remember on that Saturday
I hit the motor and I sped away
I drove like lighting but I couldn't get to you.
I stopped the engine and I stepped outside
I'd seen the calendar and knew you'd died,
the distant flashes told me everything was true.
I closed the driver door with gentle care.
I walked onto our beach without you there.
I thought of everything and sat down on the shore
and then I saw no more.