Music Of Poetic Objects Scores, Kate Bush, and Introspection

A few solid days working on the scores for Music Of Poetic Objects. Spending more time on some than others. The ones for The Love Reliquary began as solo piano works, but I've added the full string arrangements to the pretty second tune (The Lost Princess), and today did some scores for the Swift Triptych, which are strange in the sequence and don't really translate into or render themselves well as 'real-world' instruments. In these circumstances I wonder what the utility of scores are; but I've notated most of the important parts, while removing parts like white noise, background flames etc. I suppose a paper version is better than no record at all.

Attended a dinner and murder mystery play night last night with Deborah, a generous Christmas gift to us both. The food was excellent, though I can't eat beyond 6pm as my digestion is so slow. I wasn't interested in playing the game, solving the mystery play which took part all around is, but I enjoyed observing it all. If reading a 'whodunnit' we don't have to try and solve it, and such fictions are designed to be illogical, unrealistic, and to subvert or make fools of the reader anyway. Deborah looked beautiful, like a Mucha subject. The star of the evening for me was the venue, the stunning interiors of old Crewe Hall. It's probably the best looking historical building I've visited, more beautiful even than Chester Cathedral.

Reading about Kafka, some consider his personality schizoid. I share many, not all, of these traits; certainly so when I programmed alone until my mid-30s. This has been playing on my mind recently, but personality is, I think, too complicated to label or categorise. Everyone is unique, and can be understood only on an emotional level, like art. Rationality needs time and time to calculate, becoming more accurate over time. Emotions understand instantly, like waves in the frequency domain vs in the time domain. Like atoms as particles or waves. Rationality and emotions have this duality. Perhaps our perceptions of time have a similar relationship.

I ate late, so had indigestion and stomach agonies. I got up at 2 or 3am, and watched television while standing (in such discomfort, even sitting is too unpleasant). By chance, the BBC showed two hour-long programmes about Kate Bush, one a documentary, and a second programme of her television appearances. Both hugely inspiring (I copied her dance moves!). What a great artist she is, or was, and great beauty she is, or was. I was struck with many sadnessess, but why? Perhaps envy, and sad at my eternal obscurity and feelings that everything I do is ignored or pointless, that I and my actions are worthless; when I feel that I can create and have created some good music, paintings, books. Again I recalled the schizoid traits of these feelings of obscurity, reminding me that my perceptions may not reflect reality. My training as a small child was that the things I do are unimportant. Now I know, on an intellectual level, the importance of all things.

I'm driven and eternally busy; productive and setting higher and higher standards without being paralysed by perfectionism. These are good traits. I feel inspired, that I'm working better than ever, that my 5-year old music explorations, perhaps now at an end, can be completed, and that I can create many new artworks in music, in painting, in writing, and in every area. I wish I had ten clones so that I could do all of these things. Perhaps all of my creations will always be ignored by the world, but perhaps everyone thinks that. I've to have a 'success', yet some things I've made (and make) are more successful than others. A breakthrough may occur. Some things I've made have been good, I judge them so at least, even if all things seem to be equally disregarded. It I had a 'hit' artwork, a hit song, a hit painting, its popularity would certainly annoy me relative to the many other good things I've made, and I expect that all artists feel this.

Have spent today working on the last bits of Music Of Poetic Objects scores, including some alternative piano versions. Perhaps a week is a long time to spend on such things, but as with all art or science, its impossible to know if this time was wasted or well spent. Perhaps this week's work will be my 'Leaf by Niggle'.

One other job was the hefty admin work concerning the release of The Myth Of Sisyphus, now due for release on 10th April. I've compiled, uploaded, and filed new videos for each track. As usual, I'll do no promotion for any of it. Is this a schizoid trait? It's true that I don't revel in, or even like, showing off my wares; but I do, sometimes try to promote them - I can still love my creations even if I don't love telling others about them - and TMOS is an album I'm proud of. I think the lack of such promotion feels like time stolen from the creation of new and more exciting works, and a dire lack of resources and/or reward makes promoting no better than not promoting. At one time I paid to advertise Flatspace. After a year, I decided to stop and sales continued at the same rate for at least a year - the money was wasted, that promotion useless. I've yet to try any form of promotion that has been worth doing. Perhaps most artists do love sharing their work, do love performing, do love telling others about their work; and that this is their reward. The hugely critical responses I've experienced in the past have burned my emotional fingers in this regard, such that the opportunity instantly feels risky, fearful and prone to pain and disaster; thus promoting my works always has this barrier to overcome.

An introspective roll along this section of road. Time to rest, and complete the scores. A new week to fill dawns. Analysis is useful because it can create revelations. To the gods of art I thank and pray. Let us roll our rock on this dark road. Onwards, onwards we push.

Music Admin, More MOPO Scores

A slower day. Started with the regular Windows updates, then admin work on 'Sisyphus', adding the album to my website, then a long-planned hour or so updating the public Cornutopia Music Catalogue document. In the afternoon, tedious time working on the recent scores, and scoring out 'For Deborah', which actually sounds better in the MuseScore preview than in my poor recording.

Bedtime Stories, Wild Horses Scores

A full day scoring the 'Bedtime Stories' and 'Wild Horses' scores. The latter has 12 instruments and is perhaps my biggest orchestral score to date. Most of the work with the other pieces involved painstakingly transcribing the piano notes, but not so in 'Wild Horses' as the notes are sequenced already. The work is the adjustment of the various virtual instruments into real ones. My 4 string layers (including bass) are split into 5 here, and the splits were somewhat awkward at times. All instruments fitted, except for a few notes of the horns which were too high (I could have used trumpets or a trombone, or another type of horn perhaps).

Absolutely lots of work for this long piece. Again, I'll not score it completely, or perfectly (do I yet have that skill?). I've added several dynamics, string markings, clues, but not everything (no tempi yet), perhaps 50% of a 'finished' score. Enough should be there for a conductor to work it out even now, I can always add more later.

I'm also changing my brackets, which, until today were (incorrectly) big blocks of everything, but will now divide by instrument sections, which I think is correct. I find them a big confusing as we are all supposed to be playing together; why would anyone be doing their own thing in such a group effort as an ensemble performance? Everything is about learning, evolving. I wrote my first scores, my first transcriptions of my recorded music, in 2022, a mere 4 years ago. As of today I've completed over 450. There's still a lot to learn, a lot to proof. I think I've scored more than half of the music I've recorded and released.

Today's music will take longer to score as it was to compose originally, which is an amazing thought.

Parts of 'The Rat Rock' is left to do, but most of the first key six tunes are now complete, though, of course, that proofing and adding the other touches is a huge job too.

By Candlelight Score

Woke early and have spent all day notating the score for 'By Candlelight'. This is tricky. The 'cadenza' is a bit all over the place with surrealistic timing in parts; even in structural terms, like 3 bars to 4 bars to 5 bars in between chord changes. I've spent a considerable time simplifying a lot, while retaining the structural core which is close to the performed version. It is perhaps the neat version it could have been.

I've added chord symbols to everything, as I like to do, which gives flexibility when playing back (I like to improvise), and finally added the strings, and string strokes too. This one stats with 4 bass strings, FCFC, starting at F2, which is too low for a cello; yet this is the only use of the note, so it made more sense to raise it all, and limit the strings to two violins and a viola, which can replicate the scant string use elsewhere.

So far all scores are 'full', meaning no solo piano (or other simplified) versions yet. It's easy to make these by removing, so that can all wait.

So, 3 and a 1/3rd scores from this album done in 3 long days. I knew this would be the most challenging album. I'm also adding more than usual. The Salomé scores, for example didn't have (don't have) any of the strings or other instruments which add so much to the recording.

I spent about 90 minutes going for a brisk walk, essential for health, and a few other activities during breaks, including watching the mixed doubles curling semi-final live from the Winter Olympics. British athletes seem to have come 4th a lot in these games so far. Most British competitors are Scottish, the snowiest country. We may stand a chance at a medal if we invent ice darts or ice snooker or ice cricket.

On ice snooker, I've had an idea of how to improve and resurrect my game 'Bool'. It needs a new name, as this common name for a variable type is perhaps not ideal for active search reasons. I thought 'Obolo' might work, or 'Loob'.

Dreams Of A Fly In Amber Score

Sigh. A long and hard day of tedious note-by-note scoring of the music from Music Of Poetic Objects. These tunes were generally MIDI recordings of strangely timed piano (I never use or would want to use a metronome, the point of playing is emotional expression, not quantised death). Those recordings were then augmented with string layers and other instruments. This way of working makes these difficult to score. Some more recent scores can use a Prometheus feature that lines up the beats/bars with the notes, even when the timing is expressionistic, but these old sequences never did that.

For 'Dreams if a Fly in Amber' the tune is relatively simple (not all over the place like the 'Rat Rock' tune), but even so the timing is far from regular, so I must start by approximately lining up the notes, exporting that as a MIDI file, then tidying up the notes as a MIDI sequence, exporting again, then importing into MuseScore, then going through the tune with every other instrument, one by one, and adding the notes manually. Here there are hand bells (well, one), three layers of strings (violin/violin/viola), cello/bass, brass (a horn in a somewhat high register), and a bass drum. This covers all of the instruments used, making it a detailed score.

This has taken at least 6 solid hours today. As with many of the scores, some aspects are not notated. The dynamics are often not done, or merely hinted on (I've made an effort). Strings don't include the strokes, no pedalling and few expression clues on the piano. Yet, that can be done later when needed, and done by anyone. People manage to play Bach without such markings. This first step is the crucial one.

I started to notate 'The Rat Rock' too, but the piano there is crazy. The tune is swung and it took me some time to realise that some notes are triplets, my first notated use of such things. To actually record the tune I just improvised it all; instant and easy, but nightmarish to copy exactly. This one is recorded in correct time, that is where the bars and beats match the sheet music, so most of the instruments are easy to extract, but the piano notes need entering manually - and for 'Rat Rock', these can be a staggering explosion of notes, all over the place.

I've tackled the first, easy verse. That (and simple variations thereof) was all I played for the actual live performance in Stockport. Even with the two-and-a-third scores done so far, there is more to do, more markings and enhancements. Well, I knew this album would be hard work, and without reward apart from a sense of completeness, the life affirmation of the job of tidying which all living things aspire to.

As with all of my scoring, it is all perhaps a complete waste of time; but who can say. Last night I read Kafka's diaries from 1911, in which he writes a lot and complains about how he has no time to write, no space; yet, here I am, over a century later, reading his little diary which he would have been amazed to know is published, sold, read, and enjoyed across the world. I have few such hopes of my music ever being played, but a necessary first step is to write it out. Perhaps one day, perhaps even soon, AI could transcribe this by electronic 'ear'; but it can't now. Could an AI ever be fed a performance of Beethoven's Ninth Symphony and produce something that looked like the actual score?

Strange Angles Scoring

Slept badly and woke late. The morning was spent with tedious technical admin, then rendering the archive copies of the Sisyphus videos. I can't file the album fully until it's set up for distribution. This can wait until next week.

At 13:30, started transcribing the Strange Angles music. What a nice tune this is, as many of the Music Of Poetic Objects tunes are, but hideous to transcribe. The music shifts between 3/4 and 4/4 (the ticking rhythm is 5/4, mischievous) and my playing timing is sometimes hand independent in a way that's entirely due to expression, and impossible to score exactly. For playing, I practised a certain way, from a certain score, then loosened this up. Each hand was literally enraptured. My recording has an extra note in a bar throwing the bars out of place. Prometheus can't change beats-per-bar, it's fixed for the whole song.

I've ignored these things and represented it as neatly and correctly as I can, players may play expressively if needed. My original 'live' score from 2019 is close to the final one, but today's new score is more accurate, and includes the synth choir chords, and brass (scored for Horn in F, so reads a 5th higher in the stave), and everything else.

It's now past 19:00 and it's taken this long to score this. I knew this album would contain my most challenging pieces, so completing each track is a milestone. In occasional breaks I've watched the mixed-doubles curling at the Winter Olympics, by chance I've watched every match of this so far. I tend to record these and watch back at double speed. I noted that most human entertainments are about 75 to 120 minutes; feature films, many sports, operas etc. This time span seems to be optimal for a grand work.

TMO Sisyphus Proofing, Argus v1.64

Another full day but perhaps the last day for now of The Myth Of Sisyphus 2026, at a record pace. Today, filed the album, and updated Argus to v1.64.

For Argus, there are two settings for frame numbers, one of how many texture frames an object contains (how many images to load) and those frames as used in the animation itself. This is a bit of a pain, as both need to match. We don't want to load a frame we don't use in the animation, and we don't want frames in the animation that aren't loaded; so to solve this I've removed the first setting. Now the animation is examined when it's set up and the maximum number of frames required is noted for every object, then all are loaded.

After that, I proofed every video. Almost all needed changes. Even the audio had an error; one verse vocal came in about half a beat late. I've made the videos so that the end of one will fit to the start of the next, thus the entire album can be made into a full film, albeit a relatively simple one of animations. These could be useful for a live show, though the odds of me ever performing such a thing are close to zero.

It's almost worthy of such an event though. Watching and listening today I'm reminded very much of Pink Floyd. The Myth Of Sisyphus is like the concept album they didn't do; Dark Side of the Moon, The Wall, Wish You Were Here, and this.

I'm ready to move on, and, rather than be creative, I thought I'd charge into a week of just sheet music, to see if I can manage an album, a difficult one like Music Of Poetic Objects, then Burn Of God if there is time. I'm 3 weeks ahead in my plans for the year already, and it's long term goal to transcribe all of my albums, and it's too dark and cold to paint, so it's a good time for this.

The release date for TMOS will be 10th April 2026.

Good Vibes, RSPCA, Remaster Plans

As humans, we know that we will all die eventually. This is our only certainty. So, to wish time to go faster is the most irrational thought. It is a pseudo-suicidal self-destructive notion. We should want time to drag as slowly as possible. Once this is grasped, we start to fill that time with something useful enough not to notice its passing.

A really nice and well performed Good Vibrations event yesterday. Deb managed to read a few Fall in Green poems. After this, a trip to the RSPCA centre for a photo to conclude the Christmas Tails project. No mock-cheque (the money itself was sent on the 1st) so I held the cover artwork. The brilliant Peter Robinson came up to photograph us, and it was nice that Mike Drew joined us too. Here we are, with Lee from the Wildlife Centre:

I managed to fit a few minutes (little more) of video editing for The Myth Of Sisyphus. These are very simple looping things, and I'm torn about whether to include versions with and without subtitles, but there are occasions when either is appropriate, so I expect I'll create both.

There are four main albums that need sheet music: Music Of Poetic Objects, Burn Of God, Nightfood, and Remembrance Service. It would be nice to transcribe those this year, and I think I'll charge into one next week, not to remaster but to transcribe (I do want to remaster Nightfood at some point, this one will benefit most from my new skills).