The Blood Of Winter Starts

A general health check yesterday, passed with a slight deterioration which I must aspire to reverse. After that, composition work and main drawing for a painting idea called The Blood Of Winter. Here is the idea sketch:

These ideas are often more of a mnemonic, but here (because it was made so long ago I can't remember the spark of concept) a seed of a feeling. It needed more poetry and linkage. If surrealism is adding 'any old thing', this is not sufficient, it needs links of expectation rewarded or thwarted; a comprehensible structure of its own. Objects build on their relations to each other.

The painting was drawn out at 448mm across and today I'll work on the colours and surfaces. Last night I dreamt of a painting, an image and a title. I think the title was 'The Science of Sleep'. It was a hollow black isosceles triangle with one section on fire, burning into blue sky. The background had no colour. I'll paint this too.

Claire Luce Returns

A night of nightmares about my future and anxious insomnia.

A day of painting; the second Claire Luce portrait, underpainted last year more successfully than the other version, yet still today was a struggle and I remain dissatisfied with the results. These paintings are tests, training, for good reason.

The finish is smooth, the colours adequate, although the hair stands out, not natural, this is partly due to the black and white source image where the hair can be hard to locate - a monochrome copy would solve this. The result perhaps looks like a colourised photograph for this reason. The likeness is not good, though on par with, perhaps a little better than, the accuracy of several other similar portraits of the past; annoying, but not a certain step backwards. The colouration is on par with previous works too, perhaps better than average. These works are always difficult, and are thus rewarding as training. The poor quality of the blurry and black and white source image is a key problem, I have less trouble with good source images, several are better and it's best to know the sitter - one can't determine a likeness from one photograph. I strive to add detail and crisp outlines where there are none, so perhaps an exact likeness is impossible in such circumstances. I could easily copy the blur, though this may defeat the object of the exercise.

There are some steps I can take to improve the accuracy. The face shape itself must be the first consideration; the face here is slightly long. The eyes are slightly out of place, but all is relatively close. Contrast could be improved perhaps. The hair is lacking in many details, I don't care so much, this today was a secondary concern.

I will work on it more perhaps.

New Tax Year, Assassinated Strawberry

A new tax year begins today, so spent the morning filing my annual accounts. For years I've stored business income, personal income, investment income (like bank interest) as separate columns, and the same for expenditure. As an artist I am my business, so separating these isn't always easy (last year I had zero 'personal' income, my income is what I can make, sell, do). Personal expenditure however can be things like my internet or phone, which, although important, perhaps vital, for what I do, is personal too... it's mine as much as a business expense. I also divide all income and expenditure based on where it comes from: visual art, performance, books, music, games and sound effects, freelance services, other; then I can calculate the relative strength of each of these bow-strings. It can massively vary each year depending on my whims, the stochastic flows of the economy, how much work I put into each area etc.

From this year I'll have slightly different columns to help make everything easier for future filing, as the government seems keen to make everything digital. I'm far from the threshold to be required to do this, even reaching the basic income tax allowance is a pipe dream, but I should do things correctly to be prepared for future success.

After this, the shredding of the documents from 7 years ago, which for me this involves a lot of memories. I rarely reminisce or ever think of the past, we should always be looking forwards, but I do this once on April 6th, to glimpse 7 years ago. In my accounts I file birthday and Christmas cards, memories of trips, holidays, art exhibitions etc., so this day is one of happy memories.

After all of this, I did a little painting, the 'Assassinated Strawberry' painting. I thought about making this into a sculpture which hangs from a gallows-tree, but I've changed my mind. For now, it can simply be a small painting, complete with hole to hang by.

Pine Frame Underpainting, Argus v1.66, Paint Brands

A slow day. Painted red over the four pine frames I have. The red, mars violet, caput mortuum, is a base coat for future spraying (or gilding) as spraying into recesses or deep parts can be difficult, so it's good to have a base which is designed to show through these areas. This only took an hour or two. Also, updated Argus to v1.66 a little, mostly cosmetic neatening to thee menu items.

It's hard to focus today as tomorrow is the first day of a new tax year, thus I'm preparing for that full day.

Have been looking at some paint brands new to me, with horror! I knew from testing how Michael Harding paints are outstandingly yellowing. Anyone who proudly grinds delicate ultramarine in linseed oil is committing a crime against art. Some of these so-called rare and artisan oil brands would, I can tell, be hugely inferior to staple brands like Winsor and Newton. Of course, none can touch the subline Blockx, which is by far the best paint I've used, a clean step better than the next best.

Love and Fragility Underpainting Day 2, Roxy Music and New Frontiers

Underpainting of Love and Fragility complete. During painting yesterday and today I listened to the first five Roxy Music albums, which have a surprising similarity, though each gets a little better. Bryan Ferry's latest album Loose Talk is spoken word over music. Not as good as Fall in Green, so at least here we have leapt over that great artist. I'd like to capture something of early Roxy.

At times I feel at a false artistic peak, in that new things seem harder to discover and become excited about. This feeling lasts only a day or so before I discover some new insight or challenge. Every artist, it seems, stops growing, stops getting better, but I hope, by force of will and careful and constant analysis, by seeking new frontiers with new binoculars, to keep getting better. Now I see my past work as think how bad it is, and how much better I can now do, how much better new work in paint and music can be. My enthusiasm and excitement for these new brilliant things, these new ideas and aesthetics, these new skills, is greater than ever. My primary limit is my health, and of course the eternal angst of money.

I've been gifted lots of chocolate for Easter but I don't want it. I fear its fat. I'd much prefer a luxury gift of olives, or olive oil, or sun dried tomatoes, or cocoa powder, or even sparkling water. There are so many healthy luxuries.

Hope and Death, Love and Fragility Underpainting

A day of painting. Started with a small idea called 'Hope and Death'. It needed a little work as the idea was initially too simple. Some people write any old words, improvised, and call it a poem, but a poem requires more (sorry bad poets, sorry Duchamp!). A poem must have structure, linked rhymes or themes which can subvert or reward expectations, or some special imagery which sets it apart from the prose of ordinary reality. In short it must be crafted, and have the depth and intensity of artistic command. This is the difference between a work of art and just 'any old thing'.

The same is true in visual art, which, after modernism, is now (joyfully) mature as an artform, like poetry. Any painting of a scene or thing which can be seen by a person or photographed is not good enough; this is no different from a poem of 'any old words'. Art must be crafted, given more. It could have repeating visual themes in different areas, such that the thematic copies (shapes, objects) reinforce the ultimate object, the key one which the viewer will ponder (in a poem or piece of music, this is the ending or start - either way, the 'thema'). It could subvert expectations in other ways, with a surprise or unreal element. It could also include bioforms. Humans are very receptive to faces, more than any other pattern, then figures, finally other organic forms such as animals or plants, or biological shapes which look living. Even with a lifeless scene of rocks or mountains, for example, the rocks must have some element of being alive applied to them, the rocks made into a face or figure, or somehow imbued with an organic or biological reality. Lifeless painting of rocks are rare. Most landscapes include figures, or trees, or animals; perhaps for this reason.

I pondered on this philosophy and added more to 'Hope and Death'. Here is the initial idea sketch:

At first I imagined a simple scene; the distant sun, and somewhat misty mountains, rather like my 'Infinite Tiredness of Ageing', but the idea too simple and twee, a first draft needing refinement. More was needed. Here's my underpainting:

The sun is black, but not just black, is has become an eye, the clouds partly a face, the mountains partly a mouth. Expectations subverted, and bioforms included. I also noted the coincidence of painting a crucifix scene on Good Friday.

This took only an hour or two. After this, began the underpainting to the Love and Fragility painting, a painting of sufficient complexity already. Here it is so far:

Backups, Good Vibes, Frame Filling, Router Jig Plans

Quarterly backups on the 31st, a day early as it was the Good Vibrations event in Congleton Library on the 1st. Then traced over the underdrawing for 'The Empty House'.

A nice Good Vibrations day yesterday, and a relaxing visit to Sandbach for some supplies on the way back. These 4-weekly events are our social breaks, my only day off, although I aim to practice performance skills, of course. No activity is, or should ever be, a rest. While alive and able, we must do.

Today, slowly trying to enter painting mode, trying to inspire enthusiasm. I launched The Myth Of Sisyphus pre-sale on Bandcamp, a week before the album is released. I started work tidying up four solid wood frames which have a few dents and blemishes. I tidied up these with a little chalk, water, and acrylic paint to made a very sandable filler, which does the job well. I aim to spray these black, although I feel I'm distracting myself a little with excessive focus on frames.

More distractions too as I developed plans for a 2.4M long router jig to allow me to cut rebates, or make other router cuts in long lengths of wood. This is a simple design: two long L tracks of wood, like a slot, to hold the router. Beneath, a few slats, like the planks in a railway track, which will hold to wood to cut. This will be held by M6 bolts from the side. Not difficult to make, but at 2.4M and about 20cm wide, it might be difficult to store. This, however, will allow me to cut rebates into any length of solid wood, or even apply bevels or other decoration to the outside with fancy router bits. With my other skills of applying gesso and angle cutting, this seems like a logical step to making better frames, although I do now enjoy finding old existing frames.

Plus I need to remember that the paintings, not the frames, are the important thing. Why do new ideas feel exciting and alluring, and old, if superior skills seem less attractive?

I've drawn out a little idea today too called 'Hope and Death', an old design from Scrapbook #3.

Gilding, Colour Studies, First Day Of Painting 2026

Two days of painting preparation. More re-gilding of the frames yesterday. This helped, but the bevelled inner frame still looks inadequate. It may be easier to cut a new one.

Painted two colour studies, for 'Love and Fragility' and 'The Empty House' - both paintings were inspired by the film I'm Your Man.

Today, my first day of painting, on a work called 'Don't Talk To Me About Love'. I didn't paint a study for this small work, partly because I knew it would only take a few hours to paint the whole thing. As a result, however, the colours were unexpected. I instinctively seem to have a grey-yellow-brown on buff image of paintings in my mind. The results were very different to that. The painting, a relatively old idea, has dagger-crucifixes and features a vocal and hurt, and sad/reflective faces on a Janus-like monolith.