Bickerton Collection, Art Photography

A very full and busy day. Started with some computer admin, then quickly off to Bickerton to collect my work from the exhibition. I sold 'The Time For Love Has Nearly Flown', one of my favourite 2007 paintings which I exhibited in the Lyceum Theatre at my first exhibition, and clearly remember showing at The Cubby Hole at my first 'Surrealist Art Exhibition' there in 2010. It was even exhibited in the RBSA in Birmingham later that year, and many times since. It was reframed a few years ago, and I think this Bickerton showing was the first in its new frame. This is my first Bickerton sale since 2021, but all sales since 2020 (and Covid) have been scant as I've barely exhibited. My focus since 2019... until this year... has been music.

Then, lots of art photography with the new rig I've built this summer. It was a lot easier, but still hard work. The job involves assembling the lights, the flatbed, the towers, the steel tracks, the camera and it's shoe, taking the photos section by section, digital stitching (by hand at the moment, I need software for this ideally), then taking everything apart and re-packing away. Everything is in small parts for storage, so it normally takes a day for a session. Today's work was complete by 19:00, but I still have some filing to do.

The photography was done for the sake of 'Punishment of the Sun', so here is the finished painting. The face is good enough but suffers a little due to the heavy texture of the canvas. I'm not really used to fine details on works of this scale.

Backups, Platform, McCartney Songs, The Impossible Hopes Of Sisyphus

Backups yesterday, then the final proposal for an exhibition in Crewe's PLATFORM gallery. A slow day today, lacking in focus and still somewhat tired. Why? Am I still recovering physically from the Punishment of the Sun?

I've put my name down for the next John Lindley tribute night, Paul McCartney this time. I never like performing well known songs, seems boring and pointless to me. I prefer writing something new, but I searched through a few of his solo albums and picked one new to me called 'Women and Wives'; middle of the road lyrics but a great dark feeling, echoes of 'House of the Rising Sun'. It would sound much better on piano, needs percussion really, but I'll have just my weedy Microkorg and its 4-note polyphony. My first instinct was to play 'Temporary Secretary', let down by the fact that it's perhaps McCartney's worst song and one of the worst songs by anyone. A plus side is that I could improve it!

Of next paintings, I want to paint 'The Impossible Hopes Of Sisyphus' in large format, larger than I normally paint. I think it would help to draw out a small version first, so have marked the paper for a 1:3 scale version.

Rest Day, Prometheus v3.90

A rest day after too many exhausting days, again awoke tired and full of aches. Did some singing practice. Manged to hit D5 without much trouble, this note was unreachable in years past, yet my general performances were not good, perhaps I need to practice more, or perhaps I'm still recovering from last Wednesday's Dancing Queen!

Went out in the lovely sunshine and bought a few things to cook later. Updated Prometheus to v3.90, making yet more use of the FX text box to dispose of multiple menu options (eg. Frames Per Second, Tuning, Split/Merge Tracks; these had lots of menu options, now a small number of common values with a 'Set to FX' option to make a smaller menu with even more flexibility).

In the evening, played keyboard to a CD as practice, a joyous jam. I dream of doing this with other people. Monthly backups tomorrow.

Punishment Of The Sun Complete

Day 4 of glazing, the 8th day of work on this painting overall. I slept reasonably well, but awoke practically exhausted and demoralised as is typical at the start of a glazing day. I began at 09:00 as usual, initially struggling due to the rain-soaked darkness and an eyestrain headache. I took an early break at 10:15 and employed many enthusing techniques; exercise, coffee, tea, and re-evaluation of the work from every angle, then got to work to much better effect finalising the drapery, and in the afternoon adding a few final touches. As usual I've documented the work and parts of which I'm happy with, unhappy with, notes for future improvement etc. The work is unusual in a few ways: my first to use AI for most of the source reference material, and my first of canvas self-adhered to MDF.

Tired, tired, tired now! I feel like sleeping for a few days; but rest will be brief, there is much work to do in this short and limited life. The great rock of art awaits its joyous roll.

Punishment Of The Sun Glazing

Two solid days of painting, both completing at about 19:30. Another day of drapery remains.

Have applied for the Castle Park Life Portrait Painting event. I'm not much of a live portrait painter, but if I manage to be there I'd make it something of a spectacle.

Human-Like AI, Punishment Of The Sun Glazing

The first day of glazing 'Punishment Of The Sun' today. A long and tedious day painting the sky, tree, parts of an intensely detailed sandy floor. Perhaps I need to add more interest in these details, but for now, the art is this detail; in emulation of Cabanel - this was a goal of this painting.

Spent the last two days working on a new painting: 'Artificial Intelligence Discovering Perfect Pornography'. An idea from perhaps 10 years ago originally named 'Alchemist Discovering Perfect Pornography', I modified it to give it a new resonant meaning.

My interest in AI led me to the concept of a intelligence singularity and of greater-than-human intelligence. I became aware that to possess actual human intelligence, an AI would need to know about many things: what hunger feels like, and what different foods feel like, toilet intimacies, possess a sexuality (to accurately emulate a human it would need a gender too; male and female intelligence and behaviours are different), have moods and emotional desires, and a host of other biological behaviours and knowledge that would be utterly without utility to industry - yet these would be vital to an intelligence that must 'be human'. This led me to this painting, an amusing comment on this, a painting with a satirical mood. I drew it out over the weekend and prepared some models and studies.

I can start work after 'Punishment Of The Sun'. I'm glazing this unsually early after underpainting with the aim of entering the RBSA Prize Exhibition. The hot weather means that the underpainting is dry enough.

Crushed Are The Meek Glazing, Photographic Judgement

Two days glazing 'Crushed Are The Meek', split days: 13:30 to 17:30 yesterday, 09:00 to 15:00 today. It looks good, certainly better than the already good underpainting. I'm sad that too few people will see it in real life. At times I wonder if any will. I have so many unseen paintings, unheard music, unread stories.

I looked again at 'All Things Bright And Beautiful'. In photograph the colours looks strong, but are much more subtle and beautiful in real life. The photo made it look too bright and that it needs work, but I didn't want to touch it, the greyness of the underpainting somehow shines through. Again, I was saddened by this, as all art competition and open exhibition judgements are now made by digital photograph. In the pre-photograph days I used to be selected almost every time, it was exceptionally rare for all of my works to be rejected from an exhibition. Now, in the photograph judgement era it's rare to have any accepted, despite my work being of higher quality. There is perhaps more competition now, perhaps ironic competition from acrylic painters, digital artists and other easily made works which photograph well. Well, this means that I must work harder to make my work seen in person. How doubly blessed I am to have paintings in the Oil Art Advisory. I pray that this will last.

Perhaps I'm absorbing this frustration from this painting, perhaps an idea of the English system, of general class injustices. Whatever the meaning, it conveys a mood, of sadness. Feeling is always my primary aim. Feeling first, then language and intellect, the mirror of our evolution.

Three works now remain in production and unglazed: 'All The Broken Hearted', the sad daisy painting, and the desert Ophelia. I'll work on the latter next I think, to finish it in time to enter it into the RBSA. I can paint classical paintings (that is 19th century French academic style) no problem, and it's a genre I like, although I'd need to add more, something exceptional and unique. I don't want to paint Gerome's senseless sensual nudes. I could now paint my 'Judith Beheading Holofernes' far better, perhaps I should re-do this, though I have myriad ideas. One is the Sisyphus painting, a painting about the hopes and dreams of rest in a world of endless work; it should express Camus' philosophy, Sisyphus' psyche, and fulfil the other requirements of an artwork. I may paint this at 760x1117mm, as large as 'The Resurrection Of The Lyceum In 1911' from 2011, a time of growth, ambition, challenge.

Good Vibes, Kay Sage

A nice day at Good Vibes today. I was pleased with my playing for a change, though I over did it with the singing of 'Dancing Queen' (I don't like Abba at the best of times, this song pushes the limit of too high to sing as well as being completely rubbish). Nice to spend lots of time with Mike as he kindly drove me to Bickerton and the art drop-off. I feel like I owe him much more in return. He's a wonderful friend to me and so many people, and a great person by every metric.

Deb is ill with a rotten virus, flu or Covid, her third period of work sickness in a month, each with something different. Many people asked after her in the library.

Generally I feel tired if not exhausted, unmotivated, weak. Some of this may be the summer allergies inflaming my cells, the effects of coffee which gives me low blood pressure; my resting heart rate typically around 60 and is often lower. Tiredness aside I still feel motivated and full of excitement, ideas, ambition, just seeming to lack the energy to enact them. I must at least glaze the desert woman, and the other paintings awaiting glazes.

My Cass Art Competition entry was rejected, so I've failed to be selected for any art competition so far this year. It's better to try than not. Still frustrated that my work looks much better in real life, yet all judgement now is digital. In the pre-digital era I tended to be selected every time; there's been a huge reversal when my technique now is at least as good and typically better in quality than any time before, and my subjects haven't particularly changed. My best work is always the least successful - must I lower myself by entering boring portraits and other things that idiots paint? No! I must instead continue, strive more, shout louder.

Most of these attempts were on the early works of this year (or earlier years), and this power-year of painting has included some definite transformations and concrete improvements. I read about Kay Sage, she seemed schizoid. She apparently wrote "I have said all that I have to say. There is nothing left for me to do but scream" - this will never be me. For me, a scream is something to say; and that which can be said should be expressed in art. I am at times solitary, but even if I don't get to show my paintings, even if my art remains unseen and packed away, I make it for others.

Onwards.