Cat Bat Nightmare, H Beam Piper Transfer, Framing Descartes Again

A sleepless night. Awoke at 2am and remained awake until about 7am, then slept into a nightmare. I was pursued and tormented by two witches who were perhaps my mother and another relative (both young however). They were undead and chasing me around a house and laughing. Our cat, Cat, back from the dead was there, now malevolent, and could transform into a long thin bat which had a sharp claw at the lower end, which would flick out to attack a victim. I knew this this sting was deadly and had to dodge its whip many times. I spent much of the dream running a hiding, being discovered and running again.

Cat was perhaps in my mind as it was recently the 6th anniversary of her death; she once caught a bat in out garden. The bat in my dream was primarily inspired by an object in the Telepathic Daisy painting I drew out yesterday, a shape representing the spectre of death inspired by a rag of clothing in the wind in Wyeth's 'Christina's World'.

I worked today as I could. First, tracing over the H Beam Piper drawing to the new panel. This time I transferred the book text using a laser print on newsprint. This thin paper jammed the printer every time (I tried thrice) but perhaps because of this, the toner was not set and remained loose and dusty on the paper - perfect. I pasted GAC100 on the substrate and stuck the (mirror image) paper down. Once dry, it was easy to wet and rub away the paper for a very good transfer of the image, and archival, flat, and suitable for oil painting over. When drying I applied gold size and new gilding, so the panel is now ready to paint.

Then, work on a new frame. I've decided to enter the Descartes painting into the next RBSA exhibition (my first attempt at an entry there since 2019 - I say attempt, but I've been lucky in getting something in every time I had tried at that liked gallery - I can only hope for this again). Its frame is shared between three paintings of the same size, including the Cromwell portrait which will be in Nantwich Museum at the time, so I need to prepare a new frame. An ideal time to test my new router one my think - but no; I have no money for wood, yet do have some old framing wood in stock, so have decided to use the last couple of lengths to create a new frame. Two 2.4M lengths are needed for this big frame, so I started the first step of gluing the decorative flat front piece to one behind, leaving a 10mm recess.

After that, tracing over the Telepathic Daisy drawing. I'll paint some portraits for next years RBSA Portrait Prize. I wonder if this Descartes painting would have counted? Perhaps. Many of my portrait ideas will be surrealistic looking, of course, such as the Kafka.

Painting Struggles

Something of a frustrating day. I didn't want to charge into painting as the last few days have been tiring and long. I started with simple admin, documenting the router table, then looking at a few art ideas. Suddenly enthused, I scanned two: the Kafka portrait and one called 'The Earthly Concerns Of A Telepathic Daisy':

I prepared and drew this out but the composition had problems. The square shape and central face made it too flat and unexciting. I needed to add more, so did this and have referenced Wyeth and Van Gogh - both relate to the subject. I've sized it for 400x400mm, a little larger than in the past few years. I'm starting to size things larger this year.

At times I don't know why I'm painting what I'm painting. I seem to walk the line between too arty to be decorative, too arty to be 'liked' or imagine placed in the middle of a stylish wall; yet not arty enough to win a contemporary art award or attract serious collectors or critics. This said, the 'contemporary art awards' I see favour pretty decoration anyway. I look at some of my works, like the long awaited, long dreamed of, Rachael Hudson painting and wonder who would like such a thing? Only me perhaps. I don't feel it would win an award, or even be selected for a competition, despite its uniqueness. Indeed it hasn't yet been chosen to be displayed. I have similar issues with the Kratos cabinet, the AI Vermeer. Too arty? Not decorative enough? Not arty enough? Perhaps I could add more to the Hudson painting, make it all better. I have plans, had plans, for a whole Rachael Hudson installation. It would take my pointless, uncommercial, undecorative art to an extreme.

So, I'm starting to imagine a setting, a wall, a competition. I've not done this much, I chiefly consider how 'good' the idea is to me, and that's all. One offshoot of this thought is the desire to paint larger. I now have a few exhibitions and competitions in mind, so can think of what to create for those.

After lunch I started work on the text element of the H Beam Piper portrait (a painting ideal for such a competition). I stuck some collaged book pages to the panel and didn't like the texture. I became more seriously worried about the archival stability of the old and scented newsprint of this ancient yellowed book. I felt sure it would have become browner and browner, and ruined the painting. So, I scraped it off and decided to try an image transfer of the text instead, in the more permanent medium of laser print.

My test transfer on a piece of wood worked, but alas the actual transfer didn't - it melted the acrylic priming, and worse, heated the glue of the surrounding masking tape so much that it became permanently gluey and mixed with the acrylic priming. Essentially, the panel was ruined; and with it, two days work of preparation and gilding.

So after that, I found more more MDF, and sawed a new panel. I've just prepared that. I am unsure, however what to do about the image transfer.

The RBSA Prize Exhibition has a deadline of the start of May. Could some new work be finished? I fear that most of the competitions have deadlines that are so close that I can barely make any. I started my painting year in April. Most competitions need work in May - hopeless.

We can but try our best in the forlorn trudge of life. Let us roll our rock, eye on the horizon. We have far to go before the eternal sundown.

Life and Dreams, Router Table Day 3

One brilliant thing about the film Midnight Cowboy is how it shows one truth; that we spend much of our lives aiming for a dream, in Rizzo's case a warm place of comfort and peace by the sea, but how that, in reality, we end up dying before this dream becomes a reality. In my case my dream is a house of my own, a place to live and to work. A house with an art studio, a workshop to create my inventions, devices, picture frames and sculptures, a music room, a garden to enjoy with Deborah and our dream cats. It can seem at times that this dream is getting closer, even just at our fingertips reach, but a certain critical moments it vanishes in a puff of reality.

Felix Mendelssohn spent his life trying to please his disapproving father, and died failing to do so. Kafka wrote about 'the eternal torments of dying', a description of the general job of living. The tragedy of life is that all things are dying, everything in the universe. The cruelty of entropy to those aware of the transience of data integrity. Dying is data loss; loss, loss. Losing grip of what once was. Life melts into mist like one's dreams.

It's now shortly after 3pm and I've just completed the bulk of the work on the router table. The cradle and it's holder drilled, and rivnuts fitted. The main guide bolts fitted, the table tested, then a 36mm hole drilled in a pile of wood for the vacuum cleaner holder. This is the last remaining step before the initial plans are complete. I may need to add some wheels to hold the wood down, or make other modifications.

Anniversary, Router Table Continues

Yesterday marked 10 years since I first met and interviewed Deborah on Artslab. We spent the day together to commemorate the day. I managed to enter a new exhibition in Cotebrook near Tarporley.

Today, charging into a list of jobs. Entered the Morecambe Poetry Anthology competition, but most of the day was spent working on the router table. First, marking verticals, and some thoughts about a hoover attachment. For this I decided to cut a 100x21mm slot in the lower wood, and I'll make a box (which will fit the hoover pipe) which will slot into this.

Then, drilling the ends, and recesses for fixed nut ends. Then, glueing the rollers. These need to be precisely placed, so are best glued then drilled and screwed. The 21mm ends were then glued to the base, and the right and lower bars glued to the router cradle. I might need to design some sort of firmer clamp for this to hold the router solidly.

I've glued the wood with the hoover attachment slot partly cut so that it can be placed accurately. Once set I'll make the final cut.

Router Table Plans

I mused at the possibility of a 'day off' for a few minutes last night, but no, this can wait until old age and infirmity! I started the day with my regular exercises. For more than a year I'd performed a sit-up for each year of my age every other day or so. Yet, today, I hardly need have.

I started the final planning work on a router table. It will be a fixed slab of wood with two channels with rollers facing inwards to guide a length of wood down. These sit 35mm (later amended to 36mm) below the baseplate of a router fixed into a cradle. This cradle will be removable, so that future tools can be used. In mid-morning, the little wheels arrived in the post, so only the wood remained, so I dashed a mile to B&Q and picked this up; then sawed the main parts, including precision cutting an oval for the router base-plate.

There are a few key part. The first is the cradle. For this I've cut a hole in 6mm MDF to match the router base plate. This will hold it firm, and will have taller edges glued to it to give a snug fit. The router will sit on a 10mm wide and 15mm deep shelf to float in the right place, 300mm down the 400mm long track.

The second consideration is the mechanism to move these tracks in and out, the adjustment for exact placement and width of the wood to tool. I'll use long M6 bolts. I couldn't decide the best option. Screwing them to fit may be easier, but there's always some looseness in that, so the blots will slide instead and use two nuts, one each side to exactly clamp it into place. There are 4 bolts for the 2 tracks, so I expect setting up will take some time, but many jigs and tables like this take time to set up.

The wood parts are cut:
1x 12mm MDF base, 280x500m.
2x 15x15mm pine track lengths, 400mm.
2x 36x21mm pine lengths, 400mm.
2x 70x15mm pine lengths for the router shelf, 230mm (this doesn't extend the full 400mm length of the track, only needs to be long enough to hold the router (or future tool) cradle. 230mm is generous, only 146mm is actually used here.
1x 6mm MDF plate for the router cradle, 252x146mm, with hole cut to exact fit the router base plate.
2x 15x15mm pine lengths for the cradle top/bottom edges, 210mm.
2x 46x15mm pine lengths for the cradle sides. These are wider than 15mm to fit the bolts which will make this cradle removable (you can glimpse the cradle so far in the top of the third photo).

Plus: 10x draw casters/rollers.
4x long M6 bolts.
And several nuts, rivnuts, and screws. Much will be glued to an exact place first, then drilled and screwed for extra strength.

I may need a vertical roller or two to gently press the wood down, but this may be overkill. There's room in the design for some.

The Blood of Winter Underpainting, Laropal Wood Stain Ideas

Three steady days. Added gold leaf to the H Beam Piper painting on Thursday. Yesterday and today underpainted 'The Blood of Winter':

Last night, after the step above, went to the Hopes and Beams poetry and short story open mic. This event is unusual in that about half of the readings are stories rather than poems; last night more than half. Awoke a little dopey, but completed the Blood underpainting this morning.

Detailed though this is (the skull eyes are perhaps 10x10mm), I'll probably glaze everything. Also today, the H Beam Piper novel has arrived, which I may use on the painting. Text can distract the viewer, so I need to consider this carefully.

I've ordered £90 of oil paint, but annoyingly have a rogues-gallery of colours I've bought to test but won't use. I'm thinking that these may be useful for making wood stain. I think a mix of oil paint, alcohol, and Laropal A81 will be a good formula for wood stain. It seems that only a tiny amount of Laropal is needed to form a glossy layer, most of the cost is the alcohol. Today I'll perform the density calculations so that I can produce some test recipes in tiny amounts.

Miners Of Economic Worries Forging A Path Through H Beam Piper

A night of fantastic dreams. In one, I had the ashes of Deborah's father, Ernest, who was a painter (among other things, but I think it was in this context that he was in my dream). These were in a cylinder, like a pencil perhaps, though a little wider (a magic wand?). I had to launch them into space, into low Earth orbit for some special action, exposure to certain rays. I recall trying to work out how to do this. A second dream involved a huge building of silver and glass in the sky, like a futuristic library with echoes of Birmingham Library. I managed to fly up to it, and in through the closed window (in my spectral dream state). It was busy with business people or administrators. At one point an ensemble practiced Beethoven's 9th Symphony and I, working nearby (or pretending to, knowing that I was imposter), sang a key note which was rather loud and slightly flat, to the amusement of those rehearsing.

Today, a full day of work on the new painting: 'Miners Of Economic Worries Forging A Path Through H Beam Piper'. I've decided on a somewhat large format of 337x437mm, the face larger than life size. I'd thought of 335x435, and by chance found an MDF panel of 357mm wide, so ideal for this. I started the day by sawing the panel, then drew out the portrait and general plan.

In the afternoon I sealed and primed the panel with ridiculously expensive Lascaux Primer, but it only needed about 3 teaspoons of paint for two coats. By this evening, this complex composition was finished, although I've not checked the likeness of my hand-drawn outlines. Perhaps this matters less. Like hitting a note in a song, this isn't the most important factor; the correct expressiveness is what matters. I have to modify the facial expression to one of worry anyway.

It's somewhat, in style and genus, like my Charlie Chaplin painting, or 'Escape', the Nazimova one, or others like it ('Five Thousand Years Of Tears'); a modification of an extant image in a sort of hand-painted collage. I'm considering underpainting it in greys, it would make the process easier as the source photo is grey. It'll probably take 4 hours to trace over the drawing.

Empty House Underpainting Complete, H Beam Piper

Completed the underpainting to the Empty House painting, then went to grab a few art supplies from Alexander Paper Supplies. Developed an idea about H Beam Piper, which I may enter the Three Counties Open with (portraits are always good for competitions), but I'd need to rush, there is only 5 or 6 weeks until the end of the deadline. With oils, drying time between layers is a big factor. I want to paint it on a smooth panel, inspired by medieval and Renaissance (Northern and Italian) portraits; plus it needs text from one of his books, so I've ordered the cheapest I could find on eBay (the more tatty the better, I want it to look and be old). It was Gunpowder God - perfect for this idea. It will include gold leaf too.

I've also ordered more pieces for the router jig, will build this soon.

Tomorrow, drawing out this portrait idea. On we charge.