Women And Wives Cover and Admin

A full day of work on the endless admin of releasing a piece of music. First photography for the cover, and an hour or two of cover artwork. I spent ages working on a complex draft that aimed to match the futuristic, electronic sound of the music; and added pink!

And yet, I kept a much simpler, early draft, and after hours of working on the above looked again at the early version and preferred it. My recent purchase of The Polydor Years by Peter Godwin, and its artwork, perhaps inspired the lighter look. Many of his covers were photos with text, little else.

Other work today includes finalising the 'Smile to Fall' sheet music, registering the track as a composition, finalising the text notes and storing the image as an artwork, and starting the Spotify Canvas animation work. Ideally I'll make a video... this may have to wait.

Nine Eleven, Smile To Fall Vocals

25 years ago today I was working on the font designs in Imagine for my epic game concept, 'The Heart of Aorkhan'. My father called me downstairs to the news of the World Trade Center attacks. The shape of those letters on the gridded background and specific colours will always remind me of 9/11. The only game of mine that had been published then was 'Burnout' on Amiga, a flop for the world, but a triumph for me. 'Blade' then 'Arcangel' existed, both failures. It was 2002, after the year-long trawl of trying to make Aorkhan that I decided to quit and make some small games, and publish and sell them myself. That marked the first time I'd ever sold games or got anything back from them after 10 years of making games in isolation and complete failure. As well as starting to sell my games, I set up Bytten, the game review website, and IndieSFX, my sound effects library. 2002 was my great year of transformation, rebirth.

In 2001 I'd not painted a thing. My music software Noise Station was in its infancy. My prior music attempts used keyboards, first an Ensoniq ESQ-1 I'd bought from the music shop on the corner of West Street, Crewe, long since gone. I recorded a few tunes to cassette, driven by MIDI and OctaMED software. After the ESQ-1 I bought a (new at the time) Yamaha SY-85. I used the SY-85 to record the music for Arcangel, and the first version of the album later named Synaesthesia. This was perhaps 2000 or 2001. After this I decided I needed better control, so I programmed 'Noise Station', and produced The Incredible Journey and the first Spiral Staircase album using it. Perhaps, though, again 2002 was the start of my longer music journey as this was the year I started to program Noise Station 2, later named 'Prometheus', the software I've updated 191 times since to use for all of my music today.

For me, everything has changed since September 2001. The fast majority of my life seems to have existed after then, but a few things have stayed the same, such as my friend Andrew Williams. The late 90s, 1997 or 1998 perhaps, marked my crisis year, the year the Amiga died and when I was forced to buy a PC, buy books on C++ programming and DirectX5, and start again, learn from scratch. I had less than £200 to my name, no friends, no job, no future. I decided to kill myself and made full preparations, but at the last moment reasoned that I may as well wait until the money ran out completely first, which was perhaps 2 weeks away. I extricated myself from Income Support, the government benefit, and vowed not to touch a government benefit again. By some magic, I started to gain some income, drop by drop. I can remind myself that every dark year can be a restart. I can only hope that the next 25 years will be as bright as the last 25.

I spent most of yesterday on the Women And Wives single, recording the vocals for the 'Smile to Fall' B-side, then mixing and finalising that song. The singing and mixing was easier than expected, perhaps I'm better at mixing this style of songs today. I also transcribed the music to sheet. All that's left now is the cover art. I won't need booklets or CD artwork as this will be a stream-only release.

After two busy days I'm tired and slow today. Listening to a Radio 4 programme about 9/11 where survivors recall that day has made me reminisce. Time is precious and life is short.

Rehearsals, Smile to Fall Recording

Another rehearsal yesterday for the Morecambe performance, this time with full props. I think this is a lot of work for a short show, but Deb has a lot to remember and do, this is primarily for her benefit. For many performances I'll read from the music at least a bit, but this time I'm doing it all from memory to save the need to carry a music stand.

Today, recorded a few tracks for a song of Mike's, all good practice at the key of A. I then learned and re-notated 'Kingfisher's Handcup', which was pretty easy to play for the album but difficult to match live.

Then recorded the piano for 'Smile to Fall'. Prometheus can do a few unusual things, one is help with the timing of tracks like this. Recording a MIDI piano to metronome of say 120 B.P.M. is fine, but most actual playing is expressive and deliberately doesn't stick to a fixed metronome (in fact this is a curse of modern music, even my march of 'Women and Wives' is not strictly regular). As a consequence a recording will load into a sequencer and not line up right, some verses will be slower/longer than others, some beats longer or shorter, but this is 'correct', it's not something that should be or can be quantized because this expression is the whole point - but it creates a few problems when trying to line up other instruments; and of course it can't match the actual structure visually. Prometheus can import a pile of notes and treat these as a tempo guide, slowing or speeding up the player so that all of the notes line up and match the visual structure, thus giving a regular looking arrangement when the music moves at a different pace. I can also quantise notes to this 'expressive' metronome, some ticks of which might be half or double a regular tempo (if we're playing really romantically).

This is a huge help. It does mean, however, that I must play a guide version of the tune with one note per quarter-beat, the left hand marking time. I'd always need some sort of metronome. I could (and have before) hit a note repeatedly like drum-beat for this purpose. Well, 'Smile to Fall' is now recorded like this (the music is easy to play), and I've added a fretless bass and some strings, which are pretty but perhaps overkill for this simple song. It's a very gentle piano song, like an early Kate Bush song, or 'Is This The World We Created...?' by Freddie Mercury.

So, a musical day. More to do.

H Beam Piper and Empty House Framing

A few busy days. First completed the mixing of 'Women and Wives', it's now ready but I'd like to record 'Smile to Fall' as a B-Side. Spent yesterday morning filing and sorting some of the MIDI sequences on the MODX, all notes and ideas.

Today, delivered the two paintings to the PLATFORM gallery for their open, a walk of a mile or so, each painting weighing about 5kg, so something of a workout. Almost all of today though, and half of yesterday was spent framing the H. Beam Piper painting and 'The Empty House'. I've spent more time than usual here. Carefully selecting the woods and sections. Sanding before staining. Distressing and staining (a little distressing of the pine really helps the stain absorb, the result looks much better). Staining, then planing of 'The Empty House' one, but planing the bevel first on the other.

H.P.B. had black then red on top, creating a rich dark red which it enhanced on the grain, as the water-based black and solvent-based red absorb differently. This was varnished twice, sanding between coats, then the inner edge masked and sprayed with a subtle gold, exactly what I was aiming for. T.E.H. used brown stain, then red-shade-blue which resulted in a black with a very subtle green tinge. After staining the bevel was planed, exposing the pine, then the lot stained blue again, notably making the inner bevel blue. I wasn't sure how this would look, but it suits this night scene brilliantly.

Then gluing the frames, stapling, glass cutting, the spacer, backing board, labels, mirror plates, string, and finally measuring and weighing. Oh, I also gilded part of Beam Piper; the top left corner had an annoying gap where gold should be.

A frantically busy day then, but satisfying. I still have to photograph both frames.

Women and Wives Production, Smile To Fall

Mostly working on my cover of 'Women and Wives' today. Yesterday I updated Prometheus to v3.91 with a new feature to change the instrument on a range of notes to any at random between two values, and added the inverse function: to change a range of instruments to a specific one. This was because this song uniquely uses many 'random' bass-drum sounds.

Recorded the vocals today. This was a little harder than expected as I first needed to match the actual vocal melody. For my live 'Wonky' performance I used my own melody because I was primarily focused playing the chords, I didn't listen to the actual melody much. Interestingly I matched it in a line or two anyway. Anyway, today started by notating that. I thought the vocal takes were instantly fine, but tonight when listening back they sound flat and bad so I'll have to try again.

The production ended with a piano sound, a D-minor chord stab and reverse piano at the start to drive this steam-train of a rhythm. The mixing has proven difficult. I had two basses, the buzzy synth bass and a fretless bass because the synth was too thin, but I couldn't quite get it right. In the end I removed the fretless bass and beefed up the synth bass more, so this is the only bass now. The chords use filter sweeps, which sound good and rich, but these can often cause mixing awkwardness and the mid-range richness competes with the vocals.

For the vocals I added a 2 second (4 beat) echo, and a fast Heartbreak-Hotel echo too, which worked well. These are switched off the for the dramatic 'Chasing Tomorrow' line, which drops to near silence.

But there's more to do. I wrote a new song last night, a possible B-side for this release. I've adopted a few McCartney-isms. I'll repeat the first verse at the end, and mentally hummed the melody first to keep it simple and memorable. It starts in C-minor but plays with jumping from G to F in the pleasing chorus, before plunging back to C-minor for the key dramatic moment. Here are the words so far:

Smile To Fall

In the ballroom
Everyone is waiting for her
Black silk ravens
Everyone is waiting for her
Smile to fall
They're waiting for her
Smile to fall a-

Sleep on rainbows
Life is harder than your childhood
Sometimes fate can
Wave its wand and blow away a
Smile to fall
They're waiting for her
Smile to fall away

In the ballroom
Everyone is waiting for her
Black silk ravens
Everyone is waiting for her
Smile to fall
They're waiting for her
Smile to fall away

Other news. I've been notified that 'Punishement of the Sun' has been accepted into the RBSA Prize Exhibition, so my 4th juried exhibition this year. We, as Fall in Green, were mentioned along with the rest of the Morecambe Poetry Festival line-up by Matt on his Morecambe radio show, which was nice. At 2pm today, Deb came by for a third rehearsal of our set.

Onwards we march.

Good Vibrations, Women and Wives

Mike kindly gave me a lift to the Good Vibrations event yesterday. We normally attend every 4 weeks, the event takes place every 2, but Deb happened to be free which caused me to ask about attending; it was this which led to Deb's suggestion of a lift, so a somewhat unexpected participation. It was a nice event, as ever.

I've spent most of today working on a recording of 'Women and Wives', my cover of the Paul McCartney song in the form performed at the Wonky Pear, but I'm unsure if I'll bother releasing it. It seems, according to Emubands, I can do this relatively easily if I submit it to streaming-only services. My main reason for releasing it would be to test this exact mechanism.

My melody is a little bit different to the original, but I think close to be considered it the same song, 100% McCartney's, even if I added the solo that I think the second 'chorus' will benefit from. I wouldn't care at all at 'gifting' ownership of that, with the hope he wouldn't be offended at what I might do to his work.

Backups, Frame Photography, Gravestone Code

A routine busy day of monthly backups, then photography and weighing and measuring 5 paintings in frames. I have a scan or photograph of (just about) each painting I've made, but I also ideally want a photo of the work in its frame, plus all measurements and weights. I have much of these data and tend to take it when I need to exhibit a painting, so did a bit of this today, photographing 'Penalties', 'Punishment Of The Sun', 'The Lady With The Unicorn' (from 2006, which has been on my wall for 20 years but not on the website), the first Claire Luce portrait, and 'Home Life'.

I also updated my will and developed a new code which I'd like to put on my gravestone to tax any future cemeterians. The code is simple to decode, even mentally, when you know how the code works, but fiendishly difficult when you don't. I've not encountered a code quite like it, so I thought setting a puzzle would be fun. The message will indicate the location of a treasure, and I already have in mind what this will be and approximately where. Hopefully it will be a few decades before this is required.

All The Broken Hearted Complete

A night of worries, about the sudden crisis in my father's heath, the care costs and perhaps losing our home. His health is better today, perhaps he over exerted himself yesterday.

Of dreams, I recall a few things. At one point David Lawton was painting a miniature, showing me his process. Wearing magnifying glasses he used a single pubic hair for the finest of details, but seemed embarrassed at using a pubic hair, recommending only 'a single hair' and hiding away the one he used. I also dreamt that shares in a diamond mine which I owned shot up by £20,000, though this only enough to nearly break-even after years of being deep in the red. The feeling was one of neutrality, not joy of making money, not sad at losing; a shrugging of shoulders. Perhaps this is an indicator that worries can be baseless, that all will be, or can be, well.

I painted today but it was a chore and horrible. The first session was so very dark and rainy, and my mood low and anxious. I had to put the light on just to see, and at 10:30 had to run to the shops for house shopping as my mother is now too strained and too busy looking after my father for such things. I did so, one mile there and back in 30 minutes, and the sun appeared as I returned for the next session which was much better. The feathers were difficult enough without the darkness and anxiety.

Things, the light, my mood, gradually got better while painting and the result was adequate, thus the Heartbreak Trilogy is complete. Where to show it? Will it be seen at all, by anyone? I must at least prepare for it, so I must aim to make three frames.