Sunday, December 28, 2008

Curse laziness! Curse impatience! Curse sugar! I'm sick of this inactivity. On the plus side, every disaster to me is now the need for rebirth when before it was a sign of doom. I'm growing sick of doom and becoming genuinely optimistic. My personality has changed enormously since September, more than ever in my whole life before. I'm now dying to work but tired and still a little unwell.

Most of my art is negative (even though my life is not that bad). However my isolated and sad paintings are making my life isolated and sad. My new mission is to paint new futures and they will happen. This idea will guarantee my success in 2009. When it works I will paint world events and make them happen too. I've always wanted to represent ideas in a way that the mind can understand, mere surrealism just represented the mind (which is mostly pointless; although has an aesthetic or analytical dimension. I am no decorative painter however, and psychiatry is best practised on one's own mind, once madness has been embraced first. The assumption of a sane psychiatrist is a clear sign of madness). Now I am reminded that I can change the mind from the outside. Even some of my earliest symbols began to enter my dreams only after I had painted them (is this unsurrealism?). If I can change the mind then I can change the universe, for what is the universe but the mind? Where is the universe without a mind to observe it? It's a comination of neurosymbolic programming and quantum physics. I'll now call it neuroquantum hypersigillic programming. Logically, my first N.H.P. paintings need to teach me how to paint better.

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