Monday, December 29, 2008

I awoke late at nine thirty. Not a good start. Last night I drew, in idea size, the first outline of a Neurosigil of Drawing, my first intentionally unsurrealist painting idea. In the morning I finished drawing Insomnia Due To Impending Sacrifice and then became depressed, perhaps due to feelings of emotional jealousy or some irrational selfish desire or another. I don't know if I've ever felt depressed before, certainly not for many years. Either way I am unused to the mental pain and desire to sleep in the day, and decided to refocus my mind and spent an hour reasoning with the overly romantic brian cells that were sending me their messages of sadness and general concern for my well being. Afterwards I had become logical again, having told them that for the time being art and emotionlessness were my most important priorities. Then I began to transfer the underdrawings to "Insomnia" and "Isolation" using my normal method. I aim to scan Three Graves this evening.

2 comments :

John Salmon said...

Blimey Mark! you are deep, deep, deep. I find I do my best stuff when I can switch off and just go into automatic mode. I don't think I'd achieve much with all that psychobabble running amok in my bonce. But if that what it takes for you - then so be it. Dare I say - have a nice day?

Mark Sheeky said...

Thanks for the thought John! My day was quite good in the end. I can't switch off (when inventing that is... for painting it is sometimes better to drift). I analyse the source of every tiny thought and feeling. I spent years meditating and controlling my thoughts and emotions, not realising I was training myself to think like a surrealist! My new resolution is to blog as many intimate ideas and thoughts as possible. Time will tell whether this keeps me sane or drives me madder. I have realised that my art will expose every secret of my personality anyway so I might as well accept that and go the whole hog.