Saturday, January 03, 2009

Agh I cry with the agonies of one thousand artists! Today I painted a beautiful lady with only venetian red, naples yellow deep and black and white. In almost the same immense amount of time I painted an ugly routemaster bus that I can hardly bring myself to look upon. I also made an important discovery today. Successful people reward themselves with pleasure when good things happen. Unsuccessful people console themselves with pleasure. I suspect that the only difference between success and failure is this reward mechanism. Thus; alcohol (which creates an endorphin response) should only be drunk when you achieve a desirable result because drinking to console will train your body to fail. Casual teenage drinkers who drink to escape from their failing lives are in fact failure trainees, and the happier their drinking session the faster their failure will be! This vindicates my new resolution to drink no alcohol except the finest champagne to celebrate rare and ultra-special successes.

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