I awoke early after many vivid dreams. I knew I had to paint today and started slowly. I looked at some paintings in the book '1001 Paintings You Must See Before You Die' while listening to 'The Life Scientific' on Radio 4. At 10am I started painting.
The four works to paint were: 'The Magic Of Drama', 'So Many Profound Ways', 'Repercussions Of The Decline', and 'The Days Of Kronos'. All were 20x20cm, and I needed to paint all today, as they'll be sold for £20 each, far too little to be worth putting time into. This is the sort of challenge I like. I chose the titles at random using Wiki Quote, and had no plans or preconceptions, except that the first title, when chosen, suggested to me David Lynch, who's death a few weeks ago touched me deeply.
Thus, the first painting became a portrait, with a strangely angelic Elephant Man. The sky became smoke, as per a old plan for a Lynch portrait with smoking eyes and hair. The second painting became a portrait of Ukrainian president Volodymyr Zelenskyy. It needed a second theme, so I combined his image with a painting by the American romantic painter, Albert Bierstadt. His heroic portrayal of the American landscape would, I thought, be an ideal emotion to add. These themes: David Lynch, The Elephant Man, Albert Bierstadt, and Crows became themes, with Ukraine a tangible theme not present visually except for Zelenskyy here, and for the yellow and blue of their flag; colours the world has come to know.
The third painting became a portrait of a screaming girl from The Elephant Man, but in blue to a flaming sky and forest, from the Bierstadt sunset. The fourth painting became a simpler portrait of Lynch, but here blending into Bierstadt and smoke. I was struck by the fact that Lynch often used smoke and steam as antagonists, symbols of fear and evil; particularly in The Elephant Man, yet, he professed a love of smoking cigarettes. He died of emphysema, also indirectly killed by the California wildfires, so smoke, his nemesis in film became his ultimate killer. Were his smoke fears a manifest warning?
Painting felt good, welcome. I completed all four paintings by 17:30 as planned. How sad I remain that I can't paint more, that no commercial gallery to date has given me a break. I can survive, like van Gogh, without sales or support, but things would be so much easier (not to mention profitable for all concerned!) if I had a sales outlet. I would certainly paint far more, have painted more; paint larger and more ambitiously, have painted larger and more ambitiously. There's no point in painting a large masterpiece here, as I know it would sit here as unseen as most of my medium-large work, and I have no more space. My lack of painting, when I can now paint better than ever before, saddens me, but I will do the best I can with the circumstances and tools that fate decrees. With these small competitions and exhibitions I have at least a little outlet, and one I've always taken used.
The Letters From a Square Spoon CDs are due to arrive tomorrow.
Today's painting has made me feel like an artist again, revived my soul. Onwards we must charge.
