Orfful

Carl Orff was apathetic regarding food. When asked what he wanted for lunch he replied "Oh... four tuna."

Minor Amusement

Did you hear about the man who threw a bomb down a coal mine?
He was convicted of ten minor offences.

Crocodile Tears (of Laughter)

In which emotional state do you encounter crocodiles?
In denial.

This has to be the worst joke I've come up with in a long time.

Gardener Names

Gardener names: Ivy Greengrass, Alf Marrow, Ena Rosebush, Cecil Barrow, Edith Flowers, George Meadows, Rose Grower, Percy Farmer, Nellie Spader, Herbert Fisher, Clara Wheeler.

Jokes

What sort of business goes on in a monastery?
Monkey business.

What is an aardvark's favourite kind of matter?
Anti-matter.