Not a bad day. I was listless in the morning, still worried about the stupid comments made at my last Art Support meeting and becoming very self-conscious about why I don't like to talk about my art to other people and how the other people there interpret my silence on the matter.
Anyway. Later in the day I decided to draw on my Anna Nilsson portrait, modifying it to make a surreal counterpart for the "normal" portrait version. It came out remarkably well, drawing excellent outlines in single perfect strokes and proves that a few days drawing can hone my skills. As I age I find I have increased in skill, but find that it takes a bit longer to "switch" between them instead of being able to do them all at once. Perhaps the brain cells that die then are the connectors and not the ones that slowly form when learning a skill over a longer period.
I wrote a song too and it's good musically. I'm writing the best songs of my life right now, and drawing better than ever, and having more ideas than ever, yet also having illogical periods of a sort of negativity that I've never had either. I think these activities might be linked because my ideas come easiest and best just after those actually rather short dips. This song was one example; a gentle piano ballad that you'll have to imagine the melody to, which flows like a Beatles tune yet like McCartney's best just came right out of my head.
So Many Times Plus One
I expected
you one day
with your reddened eyes.
No surprise, to me.
I don't want to
cause you pain
but I have to get
it out.
You've hurt me so many times plus one.
You've hurt me so many times plus one.
That's too many times, for me.
That's too many times for me to have you back.
You will say you're lonely.
I get lonely too.
Soon you'll tell me
you feel old
well I've told you that
everyone's the same,
and I don't think
I can cope
when you pull me down
again.
You've hurt me so many times plus one.
You've hurt me so many times plus one.
That's too many times, for me.
That's too many times for me to have you back.
I expected
you one day
with your reddened eyes.
No surprise, to me.
