Submitted Another Violet Night for release yesterday, but it appears there's a problem with some of the content. Time will tell. Also affected some repairs on the house regarding a damp patch, and adjusted and standardised the volume levels of MODX backing tracks, an important step towards more live performances of my recorded material.
Today, a music and social session in Congleton Library.
Woke early for a long day of painting 'Hello Yellow Brick Road'. Everything was difficult today, things kept breaking or not going to plan. I needed to be agile.
First, my Winsor & Newton No. 26 Palette Knife broke at the weld. It would probably last forever as one cast piece, incidentally. I bought this knife wen I started painting, perhaps in 2004, perhaps 2005. I knew this was a good shape, as my father (also a painter) used this shape. Halfway though painting I had to diver to buy a replacement. At first break I made a repair with Polymorph (it held well!) which meant I could continue.
Underpainting was completed by 17:45.
Drawing is about copying what you see, not what you think you see. Making art is about copying what you know and how you feel about it, not what you see.
Slept well, after an evening of dancing and singing. I watched The Electrical Life of Louis Wain which brought me to tears with many affinities and sympathies. I was reminded how much I miss Cat, the kitten who appeared in my life on the year I started painting, and left in 2020, the year I stopped, for a while, as I turned my focus to music.
After that, I prepared the panel for 'Hello Yellow Brick Road', and transferred the drawing. The stormy sky needed some preparation, there are no source images or objets for this apart from the lighting guide, so more preparation is required. I think the colours should be simple enough, so I've skipped that stage.
I've also worked on a black mouse lamp I was gifted. I've painted it white and will paint to the look like a real mouse. This is very much a hobby project. Plus, some work re-cataloguing album cover artwork. I file the covers as artworks too, and some of these were not quite right. The day is done. How fleeting each day is.
A slow morning, then started work on a stallked painting idea from 2023 called 'Hello Yellow Brick Road'. Here is the idea sketch:
Like many such sketches, these are as much a mnemonic to me as compositional guide. The area on the right is blue sky, an ironic joyous destiny, so perhaps the painting is a satire on an emotional level. I set up a simple scene as a lighting model:
Then blew up the idea sketch and enhanced it a little, this time shading some parts in pencil. This will be my ancient typical size of 234x336mm.
Other things done today include recoding the 2nd and 3rd version central panels for 'Love Is Dead' to G575, like the original 1st version. These versions were painted years later, but are part of this artwork, so should be coded with it. Another job was revising the poster for John Lindley. With sadness I noted that The Little Street Cellar is to close this weekend, the venue where our monthly music nights take place.
Spent today glazing the second Clair Luce portrait (G1460A). My first was painted in 2005.
The smoothness is good, and colouration, but the likeness is poor. I'd mastered painting a panel with smoothness by 2007 and the 'Untouchable Strawberry' painting, even if perhaps some techniques such as glazing with opaque colours, and how much detail to add during underpainting have improved since. My colouration too has been good for almost as long, though again some improvements are constantly being made, and I was certainly not confident at colouration until recently; yet for the most part, it felt today that I've hardly improved at all technically in 15 years.
At times I've painted portraits directly to the canvas, like the Telly Savalas painting, the recent portraits of Volodymyr Zelenskyy and David Lynch. This is a relatively recent development, and something I'd not have tried before. Perhaps the lesson is that line/edge drawing is a more difficult discipline than body drawing, primarily because it's more difficult to check and adjust a likeness in line, because we're not copying a line drawing but a solid form. At one point I made shaded pencil studies, but generally don't do this now. These were sometimes were done as tone studies, but also as tests of likeness in portraits.
Perhaps it would be better to draw portraits as tone drawings rather than outlines from the outset. I don't want to paint a portrait on the canvas in the way most oil portrait artists do/did because the correct colour in the correct place first time is the ideal for the perfect finish I desire. Any paint on the canvas first will muddy the result. A third option is the way some artists, like Steve Caldwell, paint, creeping a high quality image out, rather than working on the whole, but this limits blending or makes it impossible (in acrylics that is not an issue). Painting in layers is vital for actual beauty, as well as giving a power of colour effects impossible in other ways. Intricate though acrylics are, they look flat and poor in real life compared to oil paintings.
My glazing today was very smoky, sfumato. This technique can come from an obsession for smooth 'perfection', or an insecurity, not knowing where the lines are, not wanting to find them. I became convinced that Leonardo painted like this for the latter reason, that he was, unexpectedly, insecure about his drawing ability. This makes sense, because he was brilliant at drawing, and we only become brilliant at something by insecurity about it, and fighting yet harder to improve. My line drawing woes reminded me of the two Mona Lisa paintings (I have no doubt that the Isleworth Mona Lisa is a genuine Leonardo, and a first version). They are the same person, yet not quite the same, the likeness is different.
Underpainted my 'Strawberry Assassinated' painting today.
Also repaired a broken globe of Deborah's which required a fine drill. The repair was adequate, invisible and it's stronger than before because the broken joint was thin plastic and liable to break again. I inserte a metal pin. The movement is not as smooth though, this was very hard to avoid, but I have an idea now of how I could have done it better. After each job, I consider how it could have been done better, for a future next time. A few tools I need are a tiny drill chuck, a good quality 25mm forstner bit, and a digital inclinometer.
A full day glazing 'Masochistic Gaia Toying With Humanity' in the heatwave. Progress was frustrating. I'd hoped for a restful and pleasant day of optionally glazing a painting which was already smooth and well finished - of course this never happens, I find panting an exhausting battle, as fun as an 8-hour arm wrestle). The glazing smoothed things so beautifully that I needed to glaze it all. Each section; flesh, red storm, bone floor, blue sky, fish, was glazed, although the upper blue sky remained as underpainted.
I was unhappy with the results. This painting is unusually lacking in depth - this is the core reason, so it's something of a 'narrative abstract' work, and not representing a three dimensional 'reality', but a two dimensional one. Each part is starkly separate from the other parts too, adding to this sense.
The new Cycle & Shadows CDs arrived as I painted. They look beautiful, and I played one as I painted. This process was a little annoying, as the recent 2024 version is not up to my new standard, particularly and explicitly the vocals in the Shadows part. Perhaps, if I'd have proofed the entire album, I'd have re-made a 2025 remaster; I'd have re-recorded the vocals, as my voice has changed hugely, and balanced the bass on the vocals better. But, of course, yet another remaster is more work and there must be a time when I move on. The aim is to learn by doing, not forever try to 'perfect'. When and if these few CD copies are sold, or in 5 or 10 years, I can remake a third version. My opinions on my vocals aside, the album is excellent, and all aspects of the balancing are hugely better than the first version.
I stopped painting at 5pm, and packaged the new CD versions:
At 8pm I took the painting out and attacked it once more. I painted new eyebrows on the figure, and added an eye and crescent moon to the apocalypse scene, and some lighting to the bent, burnt trees there. These changes improved things markedly.
I'd hoped to do much more today. Onwards to tomorrow with alacrity.
Overcame extreme weakness to painted 'Memory Of A Lost Boy' yesterday. After that, a painted colour study for the new 'terror' painting.
Today, lots of practical projects on a day of heatwave. Created a new poster for Deborah's forthcoming poetry book launch:
Then, upgrading the huge corn dolly so that it can stand vertically. I made a wooden block fitted with a tripod nut, this glued to the back of the dolly with wood glue. Then a 90-degree adapter for the tripod to fit into the dolly. Everything took longer because I wanted to try fixing these things with my experimental Paraloid glue. It was too thin, too much acetone, so I evaporated it for a few hours. It tended to form a skin, which is not good for a glue (although, I note that UHU does this). I needed less acetone in the first place. As glue, it is sticky and must be quite strong. It almost seems harder with chalk than without.
I contacted a friend and sold the new Lost Boy painting, instantly spending the money (before the painting is yet finished or dry, though it is mostly complete) on many new paints which have been on my want-list for some time. I note that Blockx now make a 'natural umber' colour; raw umber I presume. This is welcome to me, will it beat my favourite Harding umber? Over the years I've grown to dislike Michael Harding paints. Advertised as buttery they are more like olive-oily, and very yellowing. I wonder when Blockx started to produce natural umber? I've also ordered their Mars Red. I've loved all of their mars colours, and look forwards to trying this one. Perhaps it will be like Venetian, or perhaps Terra Rosa (a more neutral red). I love and use their Light Red a lot. It is notably more scarlet than Winsor and Newton's (theirs is more orange and fleshy, closer to Blockx' Mars Yellow Orange). Blockx' Light Red is also notably weaker in tint than Winsor and Newton's.
I've also designed a CD cupboard for Deborah, it will have Z-fold doors with 'invisible' joins when closed, giving the impressing of a hidden cupboard, and should hold about 420 CDs. The new Cycles & Shadows CDs are due to arrive tomorrow.
Steady work, mostly on paintings. Prepared study panels and drawings for 'Can There Be A Refuge From The Terror?', and a new tiny panel for a new idea involving a strawberry, then went out with Deb. I found an old frame, and started work on a new idea 'Memory Of The Lost Boy', photographing lighting guides and drawing it out.
Today, de-framing and restoring the old frame. Removing and cleaning off old tape and other things. It had visible gaps at the corners, so I glued them tight with a syringe of glue, then clamped the frame to dry. Projects like this are as much inspiration as practical work, there's no better incentive than a blank canvas and an empty frame. Then, preparing a panel and tracing over the new 'boy' drawing. I think that a solvent-based wood filler might be useful, so I've started to experiment with mixes of chalk and acrylic resin in acetone. This can make a very strong glue/filler, but I'd prefer something softer and sandable. Pure chalk and water is almost enough (this flakes away to dust if knocked), so I need to work out how little resin to use, and how little or how much acetone for the best consistency.
This, plus today, the transfer of the last two albums to my new distributor. I'll leave the last couple of albums, those that demand remastering, for a few months. The admin work of music is never ending, and over time it grows, making a back catalogue take up a huge amount of time. Today I discovered that Bandcamp now have per-track ISWC codes, so that's something new to add to the 37 albums on there. Half an hour each would be a half a week's work.
I think tomorrow I'll paint the new picture, it's such a simple idea that it doesn't need a study, and perhaps a colour study for 'terror'. Then, I need to glaze the 'Gaia' painting so that it's ready to enter into The ING Discerning Eye competition.
Here's the poster I designed for John's music event:
And here the new cover for The Golden Age. I was never quite happy with the first version, so I've tweaked it, and today, tweaked even more:
Onwards we march.
A third day in a row of terrible sleeping patterns, awake at 3:30 until 6:30 or 7, then asleep until past 9, to awake groggy. I somewhat made up for this yesterday (and the email disruption) by working until 10pm, starting to trace over the new underdrawing. I completed this today; each stage took over an hour, there are a lot of lines here.
Yesterday, I also completed a poster for the future music event of John Lindley's called 'Compose Yourself'. In the night, I wondered which songs to perform, I think All Controlled By Someone, More, and Incomplete Version Of The Writer would be good choices, though I have many options. What is the aim? To please an audience with an instant catchy song? This is always difficult with new music. My most beloved songs are those which grew over time. Perhaps my aim should be to practice myself, push myself somehow in performance, or grow in other ways, or simply to promote the new album.
First thing today, after again waking late, I had time to do a little singing practice.
After the tracing, I made a small adjustment to my music filing. The Marius Fate Modern Game album had a separate code from the same album by myself (even though I AM Marius Fate). This had some logic, but at the same time, it is the same album, so I've re-coded The Modern Game as R32A, R32B, R32C for the three versions, and a similar change for the Masculinity Two single. This was done by 3pm, and involved quite a few changes, to my records, to my website, and to the various listings of albums.
After that I felt somewhat tired and lost. Whenever I feel overstretched, that I need to focus on one particular artform, another request appears and I find myself stretching yet again. In this case I'm now thinking of music performances, when I feel I should really be painting.
I must muse a little, but not pause for long. The rock must be rolled, but in which direction? There are certain needs and goals, some optional, and some future targets not yet imagined. Where lies my great future?
It's been a hard day but sometimes the forces of chaos throw obstacles in your path. Every day you must fight, battle, wrestle through each obstacle and problem. You must impose order and stability on the chaotic universe, and sometimes all of your energy is spent doing only that, not charging forwards but frenetically organising, repairing.
I've sketched a few more lines and shapes on my painting, wrestling to make it symphonic, but imposing order and structure here is difficult. Ultimately, the painting is about childhood fears, but also genetics and circumstances, how the personality emergent at extreme youth imposes itself forever, it cannot be cast off, we are eternally trapped by fate. Yet, I talk of fighting.
I'll finish this idea and move on. You must think a little before you act, but not much. If there are corrections or improvements, they can be made on the next painting, and so on forever. There should be a certain amount of planning and reflection, but always action too.
Onwards we battle.
Charged into painting yesterday, work on one of the three new ones currently called 'Can There Be A Refuge From The Terror?', but it was a hard fight. I continually disliked the painting, and threw out the design, only to come back to it, find or create more source material and try again for another battle.
We have heard that Fall in Green have the chance to perform at the Morecambe Poetry Festival this year, a last minute addition to the preview event on the Thursday; a day before the it all starts (and before we were planning to attend). Our slot will be 20 minutes, similar to the Nantwich Words & Music Festival performance, though much more difficult logistically. We're awaiting news on the technical details.
Today, an email bounce-back plunged me into worry. I've spent all day researching and trying to update domain verification settings. There are 3 verification protocols: SPF (IP Security), DMARC: (General Mail & Domain Security), and DKIM: (Email Security). The first two are relatively simple. The third requires two codes; one half tied to the email service, one tied to the domain; when both match identity is confirmed. This seems like a good solution, except that each email service creates or assigns the DKIM differently, it might even be there, but unseeable or uneditable by us mere users. I've spent all day trying to fix the problem. I've made some experimental changes, but they apparently take 72 hours to work. Yes, even in these modern days of email it takes longer than an actual postal letter to activate.
It's nearly evening. I must work on art as best I can.
A sleepless night of nightmares.
Small jobs today, little done the day seems to have flown. I started work on three new paintings. All three needed paper of the final size preparing. For two of them, I scanned the idea sketch, blowing it up to final size, then tracing over the scant and very rough lines. In this way I can match the composition, balance, and feeling in the final painting. Tracing over is a matter of printing lots of A4 sheets; this is very rough tracing, very light outlines, loose guides. These will be hand erased and drawn again as I work on the final underdrawing. One of the paintings, 'Wilderness of Calcified Ovaries', is a montage instead, I'll hand draw that. That idea is at least 2 years old; time to finish it.
Little jobs between this. I listed Spotify Canvases for existing albums, and ordered 40 new Cycles & Shadows CDs, of the 2024 remaster (the 2nd Version).
Updated Argus again today, with a few useful cahnges. First, the ability to set the speed of a modulator to one beat if a beats-per-minute values was entered, vary useful for music videos. Then, a complex calculation to split tracks into the optimal number. If I create a list of objects, say 1000 snowflakes, that appear 5 frames apart, and these fade away over 100 frames. How many snowflakes can be visible at once? 20, 100/5, so this list needs splitting (interleaving) into 20 tracks. The new routine calculates this by checking very object to determine the maximum distance needed, then every split to wrok out the distance between resultant events.
In between programming, Deb and I went to Bickerton to collect my paintings from the exhibition.
After that, did some painting, and added a layer to a paniting I started this time last year; now called 'I Was A War Baby':
Spent yesterday transferring 30 to 40 lyric reading videos from my YouTube music channel to my art channel. These have hardly any views, 1 to 30, but they usually have some, and are a unique art form. They're as much a historical document as anything else, and if they remind me how good these old songs are, they will remind others too.
After that, I started work on music videos for Another Violet Night, even though I should be painting at this time of the year. The music admin work is now overwhelming, with many albums to transfer, remaster, transcribe, update.
One thing I do is get better over time. This is a key part of my philosophy, and why I work so hard on older material. I'm a proverbial tortoise not a hare. Even my oldest games, like Radioactive, have changed hugely over their life-span, always getting better. This is achieved by working out what can be imrpoved, and after a good level of improvement, going back and making that change to older material.
My albums have many versions. In music there are 'remasters', where the source material is not re-recorded, or even remixed, but with some changes to the equalisation balancing, and changes to compression and loudness is applied. I've rarely, I think never, remastered an album like this. New versions always at least rebalance tracks to some degree because I don't apply EQ to whole tracks, that's done at the mixing stage in Prometheus. The new End And The Beginning remaster is an example of this. Very little was changed apart from adjustment to the bass levels, and loudness. This is a fuzzy borderline between remixing and remastering, but the relative loudness of the parts (vocals vs. instruments etc.) are unchanged.
I also re-record parts, often vocals. This is particularly common since 2020 and my charge into (and growth of!) vocal music, and was intended from the outset. For the Burn Of God 'remaster', I recorded new guitars too; yet most of the rest of the album is not re-recorded (everything will technically, on a byte-by-byte basis, be different because normally two renders in a row by Prometheus will be different due to lots of randomisation/humanisation, which I tend to use). Still, these are technically 're-recordings', and most of my new album versions fall into this category, even if 90% of the new recording will be identical to the old one. For some albums, like the second version of Tree Of Keys, almost all of the tracks are completely unchanged, but one or two are tweaked.
Finally, I sometimes re-make an album from scratch. The four versions of Synaesthesia are quite different. The first was recorded from my SY-85 synth, driven by MED Soundstudio. The second used Noise Station for most of the tracks (but some tracks were duplicated). The third was a hybrid, with some Prometheus tracks, some from older versions. The fourth (current, but not yet definitive!) version is a complete Prometheus version. Crucuially, sometimes the tracks and compositions were different. 'TV Hell' from the first version is loaded with unlicenced samples so will never be released officially, and the track is unique to that version. 'The Journey', the equivalent track on other albums, is comparable in feeling. I still consider each version the same album. They're more than re-recordings, but for me, it would be a stretch to consider each version a new album. Jean-Michel Jarre has similar issues with his many versions of Oxygene, but of course he may let his record label worry about the filing implications.
So rather than call albums remasters, re-recordings, or 'new', I'll call new versions of an album 'versions' from now on. Today I've updated my artwork templates so that CD artwork will now include the album code, the version number, and release date for this version. It will also include the German LC code for the first time. I technically should have included this on all CD album artwork, but as I make and sell my own CDs, and have never sold one in Germany (or rarely anywhere at all!) this is less vital. The code is used to allocate royalties to myself, which I don't need to do, but one day my music may explode across the planet, so it's time I started to include this code.
Another Violet Night will list version number, LC code, and release date for the first time. So, another small upgrade which will be applied from now on.
Backups today, and created a new, unique, audio effect for Prometheus. The concept of 'fast duck' amounts to turning down (and up) the volume of a track in real time relative to the contents of another track. This can be called 'riding the console' as volumes, like vocals, are turned up and down live to fit just where needed.
This is easy nowadays. In Prometheus I have things called 'Engrams' which store data from the track to monitor. This can be used as an import to a noise gate to turn down a track. I use it typically to turn down the backing (piano, strings) just a tiny bit when the vocals sound, so that the vocals are clearly audible. Today, I modified this concept by creating an effect which can set a new high-pass filter frequency based on a gate like this. Not sure if I'll use it, but it can, for example, add more bass to a vocal when the song is in a quiet moment, but cut higher when the song becomes loud.
After that, in the afternoon, I worked on a music video for 'I Can Heal'. It's taken an few hours, longer than normal, but is very pretty.
