Music Admin, More MOPO Scores

A slower day. Started with the regular Windows updates, then admin work on 'Sisyphus', adding the album to my website, then a long-planned hour or so updating the public Cornutopia Music Catalogue document. In the afternoon, tedious time working on the recent scores, and scoring out 'For Deborah', which actually sounds better in the MuseScore preview than in my poor recording.

Bedtime Stories, Wild Horses Scores

A full day scoring the 'Bedtime Stories' and 'Wild Horses' scores. The latter has 12 instruments and is perhaps my biggest orchestral score to date. Most of the work with the other pieces involved painstakingly transcribing the piano notes, but not so in 'Wild Horses' as the notes are sequenced already. The work is the adjustment of the various virtual instruments into real ones. My 4 string layers (including bass) are split into 5 here, and the splits were somewhat awkward at times. All instruments fitted, except for a few notes of the horns which were too high (I could have used trumpets or a trombone, or another type of horn perhaps).

Absolutely lots of work for this long piece. Again, I'll not score it completely, or perfectly (do I yet have that skill?). I've added several dynamics, string markings, clues, but not everything (no tempi yet), perhaps 50% of a 'finished' score. Enough should be there for a conductor to work it out even now, I can always add more later.

I'm also changing my brackets, which, until today were (incorrectly) big blocks of everything, but will now divide by instrument sections, which I think is correct. I find them a big confusing as we are all supposed to be playing together; why would anyone be doing their own thing in such a group effort as an ensemble performance? Everything is about learning, evolving. I wrote my first scores, my first transcriptions of my recorded music, in 2022, a mere 4 years ago. As of today I've completed over 450. There's still a lot to learn, a lot to proof. I think I've scored more than half of the music I've recorded and released.

Today's music will take longer to score as it was to compose originally, which is an amazing thought.

Parts of 'The Rat Rock' is left to do, but most of the first key six tunes are now complete, though, of course, that proofing and adding the other touches is a huge job too.

By Candlelight Score

Woke early and have spent all day notating the score for 'By Candlelight'. This is tricky. The 'cadenza' is a bit all over the place with surrealistic timing in parts; even in structural terms, like 3 bars to 4 bars to 5 bars in between chord changes. I've spent a considerable time simplifying a lot, while retaining the structural core which is close to the performed version. It is perhaps the neat version it could have been.

I've added chord symbols to everything, as I like to do, which gives flexibility when playing back (I like to improvise), and finally added the strings, and string strokes too. This one stats with 4 bass strings, FCFC, starting at F2, which is too low for a cello; yet this is the only use of the note, so it made more sense to raise it all, and limit the strings to two violins and a viola, which can replicate the scant string use elsewhere.

So far all scores are 'full', meaning no solo piano (or other simplified) versions yet. It's easy to make these by removing, so that can all wait.

So, 3 and a 1/3rd scores from this album done in 3 long days. I knew this would be the most challenging album. I'm also adding more than usual. The Salomé scores, for example didn't have (don't have) any of the strings or other instruments which add so much to the recording.

I spent about 90 minutes going for a brisk walk, essential for health, and a few other activities during breaks, including watching the mixed doubles curling semi-final live from the Winter Olympics. British athletes seem to have come 4th a lot in these games so far. Most British competitors are Scottish, the snowiest country. We may stand a chance at a medal if we invent ice darts or ice snooker or ice cricket.

On ice snooker, I've had an idea of how to improve and resurrect my game 'Bool'. It needs a new name, as this common name for a variable type is perhaps not ideal for active search reasons. I thought 'Obolo' might work, or 'Loob'.

Dreams Of A Fly In Amber Score

Sigh. A long and hard day of tedious note-by-note scoring of the music from Music Of Poetic Objects. These tunes were generally MIDI recordings of strangely timed piano (I never use or would want to use a metronome, the point of playing is emotional expression, not quantised death). Those recordings were then augmented with string layers and other instruments. This way of working makes these difficult to score. Some more recent scores can use a Prometheus feature that lines up the beats/bars with the notes, even when the timing is expressionistic, but these old sequences never did that.

For 'Dreams if a Fly in Amber' the tune is relatively simple (not all over the place like the 'Rat Rock' tune), but even so the timing is far from regular, so I must start by approximately lining up the notes, exporting that as a MIDI file, then tidying up the notes as a MIDI sequence, exporting again, then importing into MuseScore, then going through the tune with every other instrument, one by one, and adding the notes manually. Here there are hand bells (well, one), three layers of strings (violin/violin/viola), cello/bass, brass (a horn in a somewhat high register), and a bass drum. This covers all of the instruments used, making it a detailed score.

This has taken at least 6 solid hours today. As with many of the scores, some aspects are not notated. The dynamics are often not done, or merely hinted on (I've made an effort). Strings don't include the strokes, no pedalling and few expression clues on the piano. Yet, that can be done later when needed, and done by anyone. People manage to play Bach without such markings. This first step is the crucial one.

I started to notate 'The Rat Rock' too, but the piano there is crazy. The tune is swung and it took me some time to realise that some notes are triplets, my first notated use of such things. To actually record the tune I just improvised it all; instant and easy, but nightmarish to copy exactly. This one is recorded in correct time, that is where the bars and beats match the sheet music, so most of the instruments are easy to extract, but the piano notes need entering manually - and for 'Rat Rock', these can be a staggering explosion of notes, all over the place.

I've tackled the first, easy verse. That (and simple variations thereof) was all I played for the actual live performance in Stockport. Even with the two-and-a-third scores done so far, there is more to do, more markings and enhancements. Well, I knew this album would be hard work, and without reward apart from a sense of completeness, the life affirmation of the job of tidying which all living things aspire to.

As with all of my scoring, it is all perhaps a complete waste of time; but who can say. Last night I read Kafka's diaries from 1911, in which he writes a lot and complains about how he has no time to write, no space; yet, here I am, over a century later, reading his little diary which he would have been amazed to know is published, sold, read, and enjoyed across the world. I have few such hopes of my music ever being played, but a necessary first step is to write it out. Perhaps one day, perhaps even soon, AI could transcribe this by electronic 'ear'; but it can't now. Could an AI ever be fed a performance of Beethoven's Ninth Symphony and produce something that looked like the actual score?

Strange Angles Scoring

Slept badly and woke late. The morning was spent with tedious technical admin, then rendering the archive copies of the Sisyphus videos. I can't file the album fully until it's set up for distribution. This can wait until next week.

At 13:30, started transcribing the Strange Angles music. What a nice tune this is, as many of the Music Of Poetic Objects tunes are, but hideous to transcribe. The music shifts between 3/4 and 4/4 (the ticking rhythm is 5/4, mischievous) and my playing timing is sometimes hand independent in a way that's entirely due to expression, and impossible to score exactly. For playing, I practised a certain way, from a certain score, then loosened this up. Each hand was literally enraptured. My recording has an extra note in a bar throwing the bars out of place. Prometheus can't change beats-per-bar, it's fixed for the whole song.

I've ignored these things and represented it as neatly and correctly as I can, players may play expressively if needed. My original 'live' score from 2019 is close to the final one, but today's new score is more accurate, and includes the synth choir chords, and brass (scored for Horn in F, so reads a 5th higher in the stave), and everything else.

It's now past 19:00 and it's taken this long to score this. I knew this album would contain my most challenging pieces, so completing each track is a milestone. In occasional breaks I've watched the mixed-doubles curling at the Winter Olympics, by chance I've watched every match of this so far. I tend to record these and watch back at double speed. I noted that most human entertainments are about 75 to 120 minutes; feature films, many sports, operas etc. This time span seems to be optimal for a grand work.

TMO Sisyphus Proofing, Argus v1.64

Another full day but perhaps the last day for now of The Myth Of Sisyphus 2026, at a record pace. Today, filed the album, and updated Argus to v1.64.

For Argus, there are two settings for frame numbers, one of how many texture frames an object contains (how many images to load) and those frames as used in the animation itself. This is a bit of a pain, as both need to match. We don't want to load a frame we don't use in the animation, and we don't want frames in the animation that aren't loaded; so to solve this I've removed the first setting. Now the animation is examined when it's set up and the maximum number of frames required is noted for every object, then all are loaded.

After that, I proofed every video. Almost all needed changes. Even the audio had an error; one verse vocal came in about half a beat late. I've made the videos so that the end of one will fit to the start of the next, thus the entire album can be made into a full film, albeit a relatively simple one of animations. These could be useful for a live show, though the odds of me ever performing such a thing are close to zero.

It's almost worthy of such an event though. Watching and listening today I'm reminded very much of Pink Floyd. The Myth Of Sisyphus is like the concept album they didn't do; Dark Side of the Moon, The Wall, Wish You Were Here, and this.

I'm ready to move on, and, rather than be creative, I thought I'd charge into a week of just sheet music, to see if I can manage an album, a difficult one like Music Of Poetic Objects, then Burn Of God if there is time. I'm 3 weeks ahead in my plans for the year already, and it's long term goal to transcribe all of my albums, and it's too dark and cold to paint, so it's a good time for this.

The release date for TMOS will be 10th April 2026.

Good Vibes, RSPCA, Remaster Plans

As humans, we know that we will all die eventually. This is our only certainty. So, to wish time to go faster is the most irrational thought. It is a pseudo-suicidal self-destructive notion. We should want time to drag as slowly as possible. Once this is grasped, we start to fill that time with something useful enough not to notice its passing.

A really nice and well performed Good Vibrations event yesterday. Deb managed to read a few Fall in Green poems. After this, a trip to the RSPCA centre for a photo to conclude the Christmas Tails project. No mock-cheque (the money itself was sent on the 1st) so I held the cover artwork. The brilliant Peter Robinson came up to photograph us, and it was nice that Mike Drew joined us too. Here we are, with Lee from the Wildlife Centre:

I managed to fit a few minutes (little more) of video editing for The Myth Of Sisyphus. These are very simple looping things, and I'm torn about whether to include versions with and without subtitles, but there are occasions when either is appropriate, so I expect I'll create both.

There are four main albums that need sheet music: Music Of Poetic Objects, Burn Of God, Nightfood, and Remembrance Service. It would be nice to transcribe those this year, and I think I'll charge into one next week, not to remaster but to transcribe (I do want to remaster Nightfood at some point, this one will benefit most from my new skills).

More Sisyphus 2026 Work

Hard times favour the resilient. The resilient are those who are strong willed, disciplined, and organised.

A motto for Sisypheans. Wrote a song in the night, 'Post Apocalyptic Playground', although the title is the only overtly apocalyptic part of a jolly romp of a tune, with a subtle undertone. This is part of general musing this year for an album about war.

In the day, more mixing of the album, which I think is now done. The tracks were volume balanced and split, and more work tweaking the videos and preparing the sheet music for publication. The videos need to be rendered but I always want to add more... make them better, but there are always limits to me time and resources. At the moment, they use the hand drawn album art which give them an overall unity that I rather like.

Sisyphus Mixing and Videos

A sleepless night and another day of pain stoically working on the Sisyphus videos. Good progress; have completed basic looping animation videos with lyrics for the whole album, and completed the more tedious tasks of preparing the FFMpeg scripts and YouTube text for the ultimate files. No videos compiled yet, that will take a full day of PC chugging.

In between, have mixed the album a bit more. The 'We Shall See' vocals are much better than the old version, but there is still room for improvement.

I Could Have Done That

The worst phrase in art (or indeed in life) is 'I could have done that!'. The irony of such an utterance is that the speaker is instantly proving that they could not. People who can do things just do them, not tell anyone that they could if they 'wanted', if they 'tried'. It's a retort of envy. The positive thing to do is to prove you can do something by doing it, and doing it better.

February Dawns, Christmas Tails, Sisyphus Lyric Images

Awake early today for some productive action. Started with monthly backups, and accounts and the conclusion of Christmas Tails. We raised £411.29 in the end, and this has today been transferred to the RSPCA.

Then some updates to the events page of my website, followed by a day of work on the Sisyphus album, this time calculating the frames for each lyric line for all of the song lyrics, then hand creating those lyric lines as images, one per line, like this:

I like to have the lyric font match the album artwork. This is partly the point, to add more to my videos than cheap automated subtitles can.

How I despise AI created rubbish! I can see that AI could be a useful tool, but for art at the moment I am happy to avoid it by a wide margin. At the moment I feel that to touch AI at all would taint all future art with it, harm and devalue the hugely hard work I put into my art, my music, my videos. I've never used AI anything, or pitch-correction, or any artificial stuff, and wouldn't ever want people to think I had. I fear that those who do use it will never learn a skill, and it they did it would be too late; that people would mistake their skill for AI. I love that Bandcamp have banned AI music, and that YouTube is cracking down on the worst sorts of AI videos (copycats, harvested content, misleading content). The ability to upload a film script to a program and have it create the resulting film is, however, somewhat alluring.

My lyric graphics are now done, which amounts to about half of the work of making full length lyric videos in Argus. The next steps are creating sequences to make each image appear at the right frame. All of this will take about a day for the whole album, not bad.

I also need to mix and master the album, and possibly re-record the 'We Shall See' vocals because I made one mistake in the lyrics that annoys me. This album is, I think at about the half-way stage of its remaster.

My sense of completeness can drive me crazy. I can see how I can next remaster my favourite album, Nightfood, and that my singing and production is now good enough to do some other songs better justice, like those on Secret Electric Sorcery. There's also the need for sheet music for all of my older electronic albums, which is a much easier task. Yet, all of this would take me a full year, and without any reward - or at least no immediate reward. The long term demands such completeness.

I have a few interesting painting ideas and ache to charge into those. I listened to a few Havergal Brian symphonies last night and suddenly feel that I could compose some. My teeth still hurt, several months of this, and money is too short; both explain nocturnal anxieties, yet my drive is strong. The shortness and preciousness of life and ability is daily made clear

Let us charge into the war-torn valley. Our boulder rolls free in this little region of downward slope, we must run to catch it for the next hill. Perhaps over that crest we'll see a greener plain, a dreamed-for goal.

Sisyphus Scores Complete

Completed the last 5 scores for The Myth of Sisyphus today. 3 days work for this is a good result. None are completely perfect (though many are extremely detailed, such as an 11-part score for 'The Invisible Man') but all are hugely better than none at all. Most people who finish such a job get paid or some other reward. Artists must merely hope that their work will be useful to or appreciated by someone in future. I do this for a sense of completion, and because any possible live performance is much easier with the sheet music. Also, it allows others to play or sing the songs.

In a first week of work on the remaster, all vocals and all sheet music is complete, a good result. The next big task is simple lyric videos for all tracks. I've checked all tracks today, comparing with the older ones for technical errors. Silences of over one second will switch-off a track to save processing time, which is a big issue for sounds that fade in very slowly. This was a feature of Prometheus from the beginning but, amazingly, I didn't test it and it didn't work until v2.69 on 2 April 2021, so all earlier albums or tracks may have fade-in issues.

I still need to mix the tracks (this is largely done, but I'll need a quiet day to check it all), and master everything to a modern volume level. That, and those videos, which are optional, but would, I think, boost listenership. The most important jobs of new (much better) vocals and the sheet music are now done.

Onwards we roll our heavy rock.

Sisyphus Sheet Music, Open mic, Scrambled Eggs

Two full days working on the sheet music of The Myth Of Sisyphus tracks. Four done yesterday, half of the day was spent on 'I, Sisyphus', mostly notating the guitars. Today I fed the crazy piano track from 'Life in the Mirror' into an AI music transcriber. The results were no better than loading the MIDI directly into MuseScore (awful, and not at all correct). There's a long way to go to convert highly complex tracks like that. I imagine it only works with simple tunes of regular timing.

In the evening Deb and I went to the Congleton open mic at the Wonky Pear, a tiny venue. The performances were good, I sang 'Nick Drake' and 'We Shall See' without accompaniment, though the latter was too high without a warm up. I needed a warm up all night as the venue was so cold! It was also precarious. My chair was wobbly, the mic (and optional instrument) cable was always in the way and many trips were averted. One wasn't, the tug on the cable damaging the amp. This, plus the fact that we were so tightly packed that we couldn't move, like battery hens, made it all feel dangerous. I was on edge all evening. Comfortable and relaxing it was not.

Today, worked on 'Life in the Mirror' and 'I Care', adding some guitar TAB scoring for the letter, my first use of this. Until now I didn't realise how useful this could be for notating riffs and other guitar parts. I have little chance of notating the 'Life in the Mirror' piano, so merely hinted upon guidance, but scored the choirs and several other parts. This is creative track is very hard to score.

With luck I can finish 'The Invisible Man' today too, making 7 of 12 tracks, and a full week, with all vocals recorded too. I can't get this job over quickly enough.

I've been informed that two of my paintings have been selected for the inaugural Nantwich Museum Open too, and it seems that the '21st Century Surrealism' audiobook is progressing too.

At the open mic last night, John Lindley mentioned that the original lyric for McCartney's 'Yesterday' was 'Scrambled Eggs'. As an exercise that I couldn't resist, I wrote full words for this version...

Scrambled Eggs (to the melody of Yesterday)

Scrambled eggs
With some bacon and some coffee dregs
And some toffee for my toothy pegs
Oh I want pie and scrambled eggs

I've been lost
Since the other place has upped the cost
All my salad has remained untossed
Teeth have sadly stayed unflossed

Oh, there's no tom-a-to
There's no beer, they have no kegs
I might die if you don't fry me
Some of your scrambled eggs

Sisyphus Remaster Work, Tom Karen

Productive day. Managed to add all of the new vocals, and recorded a few smaller ones, completing the basic recording for The Myth Of Sisyphus 2026 in a day; I'll tweak all of mixes later, as well as set the master volumes.

I'm reminded that 'The Invisible Man' was written in 2008, 18 years ago, and that this sequence began 31 Oct 2013, probably for that old experiment under the label of The Harlequin Kings. The track now certainly sounds better than it's ever sounded. I'm keen to move on, charge on to get it done. This updating old stuff is not satisfying, an artist should be making new things - but I like this music a lot. How good it sounds, and this 2026 version is certainly improved compared to the 2021 version. At times today I thought this album was a peak. How tragic is it for an artist to believe in a peak that was 5 years ago! New peaks must await - yes!

I don't want this remaster to drag on for 4 weeks like The Modern Game, so will move straight into the sheet music, which is perhaps the most useful phase, the one with the most need for completeness if not immediate utility. I'll start on the videos too, make the basic subtitle blanks. Tomorrow there's an open mic in Congleton and I plan on singing two tracks without accompaniment. Without the sheet music it's hard to work out the chords.

I've got a few small and unimportant changes to Prometheus, but exciting ideas these act as stimulation themselves. Enjoyable improvements for an obsessive refiner. I'll work on those tonight.

I've finished the Tom Karen book. We share a love of work, a calling. He said: 'Perhaps it seems odd that, after so much success, I should still feel the need for the reassurance of an official accolade. But that's what happens when you've been a refugee. You never feel quite safe enough to relax. I know that, no matter what comforts and luxuries I possess today, they can all be taken away from me tomorrow. My continuing capacity for hard, creative work is the best security I have' - This sums up my attitude and psychology exactly, though I've never been a refugee. It is losing the capacity to do what I can do which can happen at any moment, it will happen to us all. Life and health are so precious. Relaxation is absolutely, an unaffordable luxury and yes, I fear it, but work such a joy when we possess that limited magic that is capability.

Onwards we charge!

Sisyphus Vocals

A sleepless, irrationally panicky night led to something of a power day. I just about managed to record the entire album of vocals this morning, new vocals and harmony vocals for every track, and all instantly better than in 2021.

I feel the need to keep trying on 'We Shall See' though, the high range combined with gentleness makes this a challenge. For all of Freddie Mercury's power vocals, I still think that his best vocal performance was on Nevermore from Queen II. This song is a similar range and style. My takes so far are all instantly better than the 2021 version, but not close to Nevermore quality, if I could ever aspire to such brilliance.

Having done so much in the morning I felt less motivated to charge on with vocal processing and including them in the songs, but I've made a start there, with two songs done, and the two instrumentals mixed too. Perhaps I can finish this tomorrow, then charge into the sheet music and videos. The Modern Game had sheet music but that needed new album artwork; this certainly doesn't, all good.

My anxiety is perhaps not doing enough new art. I need expression and challenges. I must, therefore, charge though this towards a light of clear roadways. Last night I listened to Music Of Poetic Objects. A nice album that also really needs sheet music because it's largely classical and demands to be performed by others. Without the music, that would be impossible (or at least improbable).

Sisyphus Remaster, Ibsen

In contrast to yesterday's plans, I've decided to work on the partial re-recording of The Myth of Sisyphus now, and defer painting for a few weeks. I'd always planned to do that at this time, and I often work best on a creative work in the gaps between working on another. I can consider paintings while I work on the Sisyphus remaster.

Looking at the album today, the mixing is good, most tracks hardly need any changes, though I want to re-record all of the vocals; I'm certainly a stronger singer now than 5 years ago. This, with Nightfood, and Burn Of God, are the only song-based albums without sheet music, so this sense of completism, and the improvement in my singing and production techniques are the reasons for doing this. The recent The Modern Game took 4 weeks, even without the need for sheet music. I hope that this will take less time.

In the mean time I can muse on paintings, and perhaps make plans for the light of spring.

Good progress was made today, and backing tracks prepared to sing to. I watched a documentary about Ibsen which was interesting.

Art Directions, Laropal Experiments

A nice day yesterday, delivering The Love Reliquary. How friendly and stimulating the gallery is.

This morning I completed my story for the Cheshire Prize for Literature, and have entered that, with a poem too.

My plans for the year have changed, entirely due to the Oil Art Advisory. The re-recording of The Myth Of Sisyphus, Nightfood, and more will be put on hold and I'll focus on painting this year. It will take a few days to swerve into this new direction.

My painting has had many spurts of growth and slowdown. The '21st Century Surrealism' exhibition at the Stockport War Memorial Art Gallery was a peak of my self-organised shows, to be followed by a similar (greater?) show at Nantwich Museum, yet that was cursed and hobbled by Covid-19. Covid, from the start of 2020 gave me 5 years of productive work on vocal music and song production; and gave me time to remaster some of my game catalogue, but my greatest love, oil painting, has been asleep.

Time is short. I must make the most of a 2026. Whatever I've done before seems poor, I know I can do better. I must struggle and wrestle to do my best.

In technical news, my Laropal A81 seems to be recalcitrant in dissolving. A first batch of a small 8g in 30ml or solvent worked, leaving a very fluid result. A second batch of 15g seems to leave some undissolved in the bottom, despite the liquid seeming to be rather fluid, barely oil-like never mind honey-like. I'd have hoped that it would simply get thicker and thicker. Perhaps a 2:1 white-spirit:isopropanol solvent needs more alcohol? I know that this white spirit is not sufficient alone to dissolve it. Perhaps that is the ultimate problem here. Perhaps a small experiment with pure isopropanol is merited. I'm using up precious bottles and solvent without results.

Final Gilding, Short Story Edits, Paper Compression

Half of the day spent preparing for artwork for the Oil Art Advisory. Inspected the reliquary and decided to glid a tiny patch which had a fragment where the gold didn't stick. This happens quite a lot, and can be attractive, but here it stood out too much, so I began by gilding that tiny patch.

You might see it as the flaky part in the lower right corner of the door's edge. Then, wrote an owner's manual for the cabinet, and assembled tools for possibly fitting mirror plates to the Monstrance of Life.

Then added all of the artwork text to the appropriate folders, for each artwork. I sometimes need to write information about artworks, descriptions etc. and until now have written these each time. Now I'll file these with the artworks for future re-use. I've also put this on the appropriate web pages. I used to describe a lot there, but gradually let the images speak for themselves for fear of spoiling the mood or surprise. I'm now reversing that. In an era of ubiquitous images, it's good to have more information about each artwork.

After that, refined my short story for the Cheshire Prize for Literature, and developed a new dynamic compressor. My changes to the Stone Compressor did not work, and I happened to think of another, so experimented with it and now this 'Paper Compression' is better than any I've made so far despite being simpler.

The only culture I'm engaging with is 'The Twilight Zone' from 1959, 'The Wheel Tappers and Shunters Social Club' from 1975, Kafka's Diaries from 1911, and Tom Karen's autobiography from across the 20th century.

Story, Stone Compression Experiments

I've written first draft of my story, which is untitled as yet. Just under 1500 words, as required. More to do on it.

Then I charged into experiments with my dynamic compressor, Stone Compression. I use the one in Sony SoundForge often, so that is my target for emulation of operation, but it can produce odd results at times. Here is my test wave. I'm to compress at 3:1 at -6db, the grey line in the trace. You will see that above that line the wave 'shrinks' by a factor of 3, which is correct.

I set my compressor attack to 50ms, decay to 150ms:

Here is attack 50ms, decay 1000ms:

So far so good, it looks like the tail is decaying by 1 second. In the Sony compressor however, attack and decay, even wild values have a far more muted effect. It produced great results with many settings, but almost all of the attack/decay settings produce very similar results. Here is attack 2ms, decay 2ms:

Here is attack 50ms, decay 1000ms - the same settings as my second trace above, though it looks very different. How similar to the dramatically different 2ms/2ms version it seems. Basically, it's only affecting the values over -6dB, which is perhaps correct for a compressor, but in doing so it's making the results boringly similar even with wildly different settings. I'll keep my wild version for flexibility, and to be different. This, incidentally is used in SFXEngine, so perhaps I'll upgrade that too, but I'm unsure at the moment, as this change is radical to the way it currently works.

Kafka and Karen, Prometheus to v3.80

As well as the diaries of Kafka, I'm reading the autobiography of industrial designer, Tom Karen. Amazingly, I discover that the two may be related. Kafka's uncle was married to a Prague Kohn, and Tom Karen's father's family were Kohn's from Czechoslovakia.

Both are inspiring in different ways, I feel a connection to both, perhaps more to Kafka, as perhaps I share an isolation. I am beyond comfortable when alone, for me it is a refuge from anxiety. Karen was a lone refugee, but took part in many things, formed connections and forged a path. I have done this too at times. Perhaps I can again. I seem to have extreme Apollonian and Dionysian personalities, sometimes a mix, sometimes either, but Apollo will take over if a Dionysian extreme threatens health or wellbeing. I can often be manic in a busy work or anxious sense, but never in an unhealthy excess sense, and never depressive.

The Love Reliquary gold is complete. I had a thought that the God Being Killed frame might not be lacquered or varnished in entirety. Some parts are (certainly the figures in the centre of the arch, and I probably added more varnish to other areas), but I failed to record how much and when I did this. If the metal browns, it may be better, as the gold is very bright and I like the idea of a natural decay, so this may suit the artwork, providing the decay is pretty like the browning of copper, and uniform.

I should be writing my short story but yesterday diverged. I've updated Prometheus to v3.80 with little settings for the silence level and length, a setting which was called zerosamples. This feature will shut off a track after so much time of silence to save processing time. A note will re-activate it. These settings set the level and time considered silence. By default I consider one 16-bit sample or lower (somewhere around -50dB) for 1 second silence, but audiobook pauses after noise-gating can lead to longer pauses, hence this setting.

I also tried to fix some aliasing artifacts in my noise gate. Mine is a 'perfect' gate, but I hear slight distorting artifacts as the signal crosses the threshold. I think my processing it too stark and digital. The one in SoundForge seems to add some noise to help mitigate the transitions over the threshold. I also finally framed the 'owl painting' which I have been repairing. This is all a distraction. I should be forging forwards. I, like Kafka in Oct 1911, must write (he did not, the entries so far of a frustrated procrastinator; yet there was a lot of energy and literary sparkle in his diaries).

Much of the last week has been integrating into the Oil Art Advisory, and my works today appear in their newsletter. One exciting element of forging.

Onwards.

Gilding The Reliquary Edges

Started the day trying to write, well partly succeeding, a story for the Cheshire Prize. I'm out of practice.

The gold and oil arrived before lunch, so I decided to gild after. I ordered 250ml of oil. I have in the past ordered more, 500ml or even a litre, but it's one of those products which thickens or sets in the bottle, and the old tin was poorly packaged and a nightmare to pour from. I only used 50ml or so before the rest spoiled, so I elected for a smaller batch. I made a plastic funnel from lighting gel, and poured into 4x30ml solvent-tight amber bottles from Baldwins. This should keep the precious stuff in good order. The rest I left in the tin and sealed it, plus much clingfilm.

Then, gilding, which was also nightmarish when I first tried it many years ago. For my first ever attempt, in 2008 or so, I applied the oil too thickly and didn't wait for it to grow tacky. I applied the gold, which broke and let through some oil. This stained the surface and make my fingers sticky, making everything worse. The oil never set, making all of the gold break, ruining it with yellowy oil, and creating a disaster.

For my second attempt, and the first reliquary, I decided to use epoxy resin as my size, knowing that this sets chemically not by exposure to air. In many ways this was much more successful, though of course, epoxy can yellow, so shouldn't be permitted on the top of the gold. I used a casting resin designed to be more stable. Applying it thinly was very difficult, and of course it grew thicker by the minute, even though it was 12-hour resin. Being a resin glue it had the power to stick everything, such as the work to the floor permanently.

Other problems include the opposite to the first attempt, waiting so long that the oil dried and the gold would not stick. So, I learned that there is an element of exact timing involved. Another problem was the gold itself. The loose leaf took huge skill to handle and manipulate. I was determined to learn, and made my own little bed, and obtained the correct gilder's knife and soft brush for lifting the gold (a gilder's tip). I managed it in the end, but once I had I started to use transfer leaf, which is a joy to use by comparison. One downside to transfer is that it can't as easily cope with lumpy textures and pits, which loose gold be be prodded into. Apart from this, transfer is always better.

I've also tried using PVA, which can be simply called water-based oil size. This works, but isn't brilliant because it dries so quickly. For this, one must apply a little glue, then gold, then glue etc.

So now, I use oil size. The first trick is to make sure the surface is non-absorbent, or else the oil will sink in, so I may apply a sealer first (like acrylic medium or paint). I mix a little oil paint with the size, to more easily see where the transparent oil is applied, and to aid drying, then paint it on the area to gild. I paint it very thinly, as thinly as possible, almost scrubbed in. In no time, a 15 mins, it will be sticky, like the tack on Sellotape, then it's ready to apply gold.

I cut the gold with a rotary blade of the sort used for fabric. This is easier than using a gilder's knife. For transfer leaf, it's a simply matter of picking up the leaves on their backing and applying. For real gold, tools are needed to pick it up. I seem to have better luck with metal tools than the gilder's tip, on which the hairs need some slight grease, traditionally rubbed on from one's forearm. Once set down, real leaf is tamped with something like cotton wool, but the wool strands can glue onto tiny holes where the glue remains and white hairs start to appear, so this is a pain compared to the joy of transfer leaf.

Today I used transfer leaf (23.5kt) and Handover 3-Hour Size, which seems very good. Prior to this I used Robersons Fast Size, and also LeFranc; all equally good.

Now, another lesson (or trick) is to leave it all, complete with flappy bits of gold on the top. Everything should be left for a day or two to fully dry and only then can the bits of gold be brushed off, and perhaps little holes (these are inevitable, and sometimes even part of the aesthetic, allowing organic fragments of undercolour to show through) gilded yet more.

The Love Reliquary Updates Day 2

More work on 'The Love Reliquary' today. Started by neatening the 'tree' stands for attaching to the base, then applied a brown base layer to the door edges.

After that, started some experiments with Laropal A81. It needs a rather strong solvent. For Paraloid B72, I can fill a bottle with crystals and pour in acetone to the top to fill the gaps, and everything will dissolve. Here it seems that half or 40% of crystals are needed, so about 2:1 solvent to crystals. My Diall White Spirit, with about 30% aromatics, didn't seem quite strong enough to dissolve it. I've tried a mix of 2:1 White Spirit:Isopropynol and it seems to be having a better effect. It seems stickier than Paraloid, perhaps a better glue.

Gold is a a record high price, not a good time to be buying gold leaf, though it makes all of my works with gold more valuable. I'll probably gild on Wednesday. I have a small list of art supplies to buy when I can afford it, none are vital.

Meanwhile I need a new job, and perhaps writing something for the Cheshire Prize is a good target. I'm reading Toymaker by Tom Karen, and Kafka's diaries. Both are inspiring. Tom is inspiring me to declutter. Kafka will aid my short story.

Love Reliquary Adjustments

A very full day yesterday assembling lots of art paperwork and 80Mb or so of images for my exciting debut with Oil Art Advisory. I've supplied information about every artwork, written more than perhaps ever about them. I keep lots of technical information, but not so much analysis of the artworks as art, only a few hints about inspirations.

Today, adjusted my website to reflect the new gallery, then went out early with Deb for some shopping. My main job of the day though was an update to The Love Reliquary. I've made a few changes:

First, removing the 'tree' plates which were designed to screw the cabinet to its oak base. These used clay to cover the screws, so this needed to be removed. These plates are now optional, to be fitted when the base requires them.

Then, fitting mirror plates to the rear. I've chosen 4 plates, not 2, as opening the doors means motion, and I don't want the cabinet to wobble.

One final change was working out how to secure the paintings, as these can fall out at times. All three panels (today reminded me) are fixed using magnets, but the magnets are not quite strong enough to hold them firmly. I pondered many different solutions but the simplest was to add another magnet. This is perfect, it's not even permanent, as it can be removed as required.

I've made a special 'key' tool to hook behind the left painting, allowing it to be pulled free. Without this, there would be ne way to remove it. The central panel uses a hole in the rear of the case, and the heart-shaped hole in the right panel can be pulled to remove that.

The extra magnet now means there is a gap between the panel and the box. the wobble annoys me, so I'll need to cut a surround to calm it. I've also ordered more gold size to go with the new gold leaf I ordered on Friday. The gold leaf is now 3 times more expensive as it was the last time I ordered it; for the price of 75 leaves then I now have only 25.

I need to cut this surround (something like a spacer, from board), and some arch-shaped bubble wrap for storage. Then, paint the inner edges with a base in preparation for gilding, which I'll probably do on Wednesday, as I expect the gold and size on Tuesday in the day, which may be too late to begin in these dark days.

Knutsford, Love Reliquary Adjustments, Gold Leaf

A wonderful, memorable day in Knutsford visiting a new gallery partner yesterday. It was simply a joy to be in the company of truly artistic souls for a few hours. I have much to do today, compiling information and images, and preparing the way for this exciting opportunity.

I'm working on technical documentation for all of these freshly delivered artworks today. I have some slight adjustments to make to The Love Reliquary, to make it more easily wall mountable and make the base truly optional, and to apply gold to the edges. I also want to do something about holding the side paintings in place, but this is a complex challenge. I can't stick them in, they need to be removable for possible future restoration or care. If I use pins or similar they will encroach upon the painting. I can't use a magnet as with the central panel; the magnet there is concealed in the back and I can't conceal one in the gilded doors. My idea is to use a tiny rubber wedge.

At the last moment I remembered that the God Being Killed painting used imitation gold for the frame rather than genuine gold leaf. In almost all cases I use and prefer real gold for everything (this might be the only time I've ever used imitation gold), although there's a visual and textural difference between gold and imitation (imitation leaf which can include brass, aluminium or other metals). Non-gold can crisp, crackle and form sharper ridges, and is available in many shades including blues and greens; it looks and feels slightly different. Real gold is smoother, softer in the way it folds and flows, and can be found in shades from silver to rich gold. I use palladium leaf or white gold too, at times. Anyway, here I will gild the inner door edges in 23.5kt gold.

Time is short. Tick tick.

Painting, Story, and Album Thoughts, and Kafka's Diaries

Today I packed the paintings for tomorrow's visit. How I wish I could paint more. There are several reasons why I paint less now. First, I lack space, the space for completed works, as well as the incentive to paint. I'd love a regular place to exhibit, though I've never had one. To date I've painted for competitions or open exhibitions (near or far), or, after a spell of work, developed my own idea for an exhibition and staged one in a venue of my own hiring.

Covid acted as something of a stop to this, which brings me to the second reason, of diversion into other arts. I've made more music since 2020 than in perhaps the 20 years prior, so music served as my artistic obsession, stolen from painting. Artists must follow their whims, and perhaps mine will shift back to painting (or elsewhere, my artistic drive is as strong as ever). Though, the key lack of physical space is still an important factor. When I started painting I'd happily paint large works but I have no space for that now, too many paintings are in storage, and this limits the sort of painting I feel like doing. Now, I feel like I should and could paint more, again, better than ever, so it's important that I find a way.

Enough deep thought for now.

I spent 45 minutes listening to an excellent Radio 4 programme about liberty, and John Stuart Mill's essay on the subject, and later and equally good programme about chocolate. I eat chocolate every day; a drink of cocoa every morning, and a couple of chunks at least later. It appears that chocolate has no direct health benefits, such as a medicine might convey benefits, but benefits in food are relative. Chocolate may be more beneficial than another food we might eat instead. To some extent all foods are harmful, food wears our bodies down, so the health benefits of food should only be considered in relative terms.

In the afternoon, I went out with Deb, to at least take some fresh air. I bought a book, Kafka's Diaries. I'm reminded that now, after my recent audiobook reading that I'm evolving towards the literary. Last night I wrote out the plans for a new story about an AI chat-bot, but the plot is large and complex, as good as a Film Noir, yet too large for a 1,500 word story. I may be able to do something with it, but I have only 14 days to complete my Cheshire Literature Prize entry, so it may be more efficient to develop a new idea.

I also have sketches for a new album, with two tracks; the Radioactive theme to start, and 'Written on Rice' to end, but with no other tracks. The sketched story outline reminds me of the importance of structure, and I must endeavour to plan the album structurally, primarily. Above all, I must not rest. There is much to do, and I must strive to do it all, and well.

The Intangible Man Audiobook Version 2

Completed and submitted the second version of The Intangible Man Audiobook today. My new process is much simpler, editing the plain waves in 24-bit, then applying dynamics, then feeding everything into Prometheus for filtering, any special effects like reverb, boosting the volume to ideal levels, then limiting.

I'm already tired of this and ache to move on, though I have five other books I could read! I wish I had the drive to promote anything I do. I have a huge and unstoppable drive to create, to move on, to charge into the new, yet I have no drive to promote the old, to tell the world, or share anything. Quite the opposite, my instincts are to shrink from the very prospect of sharing anything. Years of this has also led to a complete lack of knowledge of how to promote anything.

Still, I use all of my brain, so that which doesn't promote is being used elsewhere. One thing I do and can do is enter competitions, and last night I had the genesis of an idea for a short story for the Cheshire Prize for Literature. I worked on The Intangible Man partly for this exact reason. The old book may well have done (though it does feel neater and better to re-read it with more skill and control) but if I'm to write something new, I need to enter that literary world. I have only two weeks to write it and enter.

I will start tomorrow, but I must also pack some of my best artworks for a trip to Knutsford, and the anxious delight of a visit to a gallery. In other happy news, I've finally been refunded by wonderful Amazon for the expensive but useless 4G phone I ordered in November. This was so out of date it had no hope of working (could not connect to data, would not update, could not use VoLTE). The 3rd Party Seller did nothing, not even a message; it was Amazon's appeals process which led to the resolution. My mother is also awaiting a refund from the same seller for the same model of phone.

Onwards we charge with new-found glee.

The Intangible Man Audiobook Second Edition, Substack Ends

A full day working on a second version of the audiobook for The Intangible Man and Other Strange Tales. Seven stories were read in draft yesterday, and the remaining today. This is a lot of tedious work, most of it the editing process. The next big step is processing the audio, limiting and volume checking, and adding any audio effects. I expect this will take another day, perhaps longer.

In other news, my Substack 'appeal' has been rejected, which is something of a blow. It was a huge amount of work to join Substack, to transfer this 20-year old blog to that more up-to-date platform. I'm still in the dark as to what the problem was. I didn't tend to email out posts. Perhaps the platform wanted me to do this more often, and so gain more readership - or, perhaps the opposite, that Substack objected to me using my external mailing list. Or it could be another reason. To say that I feel unsupported by a platform, which currently holds over 3000 posts of my life's work, is an understatement.

Perhaps I should be fortunate that this suspension occurred only a few days after a backup from that site. I can't now create a backup, and I don't appear to have any control over the site at all.

Well, onwards I march alone. My heavy boulder calls. Time to push it a little more, around this stony corner, down a new little pathway.

21st Century Surrealism Audiobook Complete

Two days of solid work on the 21st Century Surrealism audiobook. After each chapter recording, each need editing and checking. Then, boosting the volume, adjusting the dynamics, clipping, and conversion into the final format. This was completed today, and the 3-hour book submitted for publication within the next week or two.

I immediately began work on a second edition of The Intangible Man. Using Prometheus for the filtering, limiting, and other audio effects, is a much better (non linear) way to edit than using SoundForge, and I feel I can read better too. If I can complete this, and The Many Beautiful Worlds of Death this month then it would be a good month, I think. Perhaps, one day, I could work on The Burning Circus, or Deep Dark Light, or the computer book, or even the Blake poems.

Still, even after one book I feel the call to create something new. I can't dwell for too long on this current, tedious task.

Here's the audiobook cover:

21 Century Surrealism Narration, Refund Frustrations, Substack Suspension

Day 3 of recording the spoken text of 21st Century Surrealism. By the end of the process my speech rhythm and audio quality had changed so hugely that I found myself re-recording the entire book! Several sections were already recorded a few times, thus the entire book was read twice and some sections four or five times.

Other aspects of the moment are frustrating. The obsolete (and expensive) mobile phone, which was unable to be updated and unable access 4G voice calls, bought from an Amazon seller for myself (and a second phone for my mother) in November has been returned, with no response at all from the seller. My phone was tracked and delivered to them on Christmas Eve and I'm still awaiting any response. Amazon are ususally brilliant at this, the problems stem from the third party seller.

Similarly, I've ordered a part for my router in November, and each inquiry pushes the due date back, always about two weeks in future. The cost of this part is low and I can perhaps find it elsewhere, so this is a minor annoyance, but annoyance it remains.

A third annoyance is that my Substack blog, which took weeks of intense work to set up is now suspended in entirety due to their doubts about my 37-strong mailing list! I care less about the mailing list than the blog, but it was (and remains) convenient to combine the two. It's easy for me to run the mailing list via Sendy, as before. I don't mind at all deleting ALL Substack subscribers, and using it purely as a blog, but it seems I have no option, and that the whole 20-years worth of posts are now set to 'dead'. I can but appeal.

At least this blog remains.

Good Vibes 2026, and 21st Century Surrealism Narration

The snow miraculously cleared, so we visited Good Vibrations as planned. I've spent a lot in the last few weeks on some art materials, some silicone trays and mixing bowls for plaster, some Laropal A81 resin (which I'm excited to test in painting, as a varnish/stain, or glue), and some paper rolls for cleaning; a regular essential.

Today, started to narrate 21st Century Surrealism as an audiobook. I've narrated about two thirds add have spotted a few errors on the text to be corrected later. In between this, Deb and I went to Frodsham to collect my open paintings. A storm is due to hit the country tonight, so I thought it prudent to go today rather than tomorrow as officially scheduled.

Onwards we charge.

Lyric Videos, I Seek My Solace Plaster

Have spent the last couple of days recompiling the 50 or so YouTube 'lyric reading videos' for my albums, and moving these back to the music channel, all helping separate music, visual art and computer games.

Then, a little work on the 'I Seek My Solace' artwork. I've now cast three plaster sheets with different methods. There are many ways to make this backing for the painting. A plaster and slightly wave-like finished was in my mind when conceiving the idea. The ideal way would be to model it in a clay like Plasticine, then make a silicone mould and cast this. This is ideal for mass production but perhaps overkill for one work, and silicone is expensive, and I have none. The reliquary doors used epoxy clay, which is ideal too, but it's very cold for such a material (it's always hard work to mix, but especially so in winter); and it's hard to carve the lettering into epoxy.

In the third sheet I carved the poem while the plaster was semi-dry. This looks good, but the sheet is very delicate. I may be able to do better.

My next task for the month is to record audiobooks, so I may do this. I'm unsure if it's worth it, whether I'll sell a single audiobook, but 21st Century Surrealism has sold over 400 copies now, so it is perhaps worth a try. I'm not particularly looking forward to the job, it feels more like a chore than creative or artistic.

Everything feels a little uncertain, the normal mood for a self-employed self-motivated artist. What is best? I must do my best, every day. Grow, learn. Do better than what has been done before, and keep producing good works to an uncaring world.

It's too snowy to travel, so I can't see Deborah, and we may not get to visit Congleton on Wednesday, though I suspect those ever-busy main roads will be clear.

Video Filing, Castors, Owl Restoration, Billy Squier

Started the day by making updating the new videos on the Cornutopia Software YouTube channel, then filing the newly converted videos.

Then, fitted castors to my father's chair. It needed a height extension, and we had some spare castors with an M8 thread, so I ordered some M8 rivnuts, and these arrived today. I needed an 11mm drill bit for these; 11mm! This is such an unusual size, most drill bits over 6 go up in twos. I used a 10mm drill an shifted the bit around to enlarge the hole, this worked well. Then glued the rivnuts into place with viscous super-glue (cyanoacrylate). Then screwed in the castors.

After this, worked on the repair and restoration of the owl oil painting started in November. This required thick paint, more like a paste. Oil paint will not gap-fill easily, so I added chalk, an ancient solution. The results were good, this restoration is complete. While working I listened to a new album acquisition, Billy Squier's Don't Say No. I thought I might like it because it's a 1981 album (my favourite year), was produced by Reinhold Mack, and was a hit in America at the time. Billy Squier is pretty much unknown in the UK, but sure enough, I like the album, it's so like the rockier Queen of the era that if Freddie Mercury sang these, people would assume it's an unknown Queen (or at least Brian May) album. There are however some Americanisms in the riffs, bluesy/country sounds, such as the riff in 'Too Daze Gone' which wouldn't be in a British album. It's a very good album, will definitely be an inspiration and remain part of my collection.

In the afternoon, a dash to shops to buy some essentials and important luxuries.

It's time to consider new creations. I must work on the Strawberry painting and on audiobooks. Things feel somewhat cluttered and untidy, but I've made progress here. With each new thing, something old must be cast out too. Sometimes growth is cutting back.

Onwards we charge!

I Seek My Solace

Today, compiled images to send to a gallery, and once done did some work on 'I Seek My Solace Where Love Lies Lost'. I found a branch of dried wood, very mossy and pretty. I sawed this to make a flat base, then cut and glued it to make a gallows for the panel to hang from. Once dry, I'll preserve it all with Paraloid resin.

Then, cut and drilled a piece of lime wood for the painting panel's rear, and drew out the poem. My plan is to gild this. I may need to enhance the lettering with a dark colour.

My gums are aching aching, despite weeks of meticulous cleaning. The problem which became evident in December seems to be no better.

New Year, New Cornutopia Software YouTube Channel

Yesterday, a full day of my annual computer backups and system tidying, which I perform every Dec 31st. This took until 17:00, and was thwarted by the Windows Recovery Drive creator not recognising my new 128Gb USB stick. It worked fine last year for the 64Gb stick (but not with 32Gb, which isn't big enough). This forced me to order another, feeling ripped off. I also received a USB plug, ordered as a twin pack, but this was time limited and it appears that I missed out by a few minutes - also inspiring feelings of being taken advantage of! The Amazon page hums and tums with eyes skywards, showing just one plug, no sign of the twin-pack offer.

Later, a nice evening of board games with Deborah and my parents, and today the day of new starts. I watched 'Letter From An Unknown Woman' by Stefan Zweig, whom I'd read a year or two ago in 'Beware Of Pity'; a true romantic in the mould of Goethe.

Then a look a new goals, and I decided to create a new YouTube channel for Cornutopia Software, to separate out the 20 or 30 gaming videos from my artworks channel. My visual art really needs a separate channel. This work involves recompiling all of these videos and updating all of the YouTube text, as well as creation of the channel livery. I should manage it by the end of today.