Just One More Day in Sweden

I'm starting on a small painting for a competition tomorrow, run partly by the London Underground the task is to design an underground station of the future. With luck it will be finished in a week (although the rules state that the entry picture will not be returned, very strange for a serious art competition). My idea is sound enough, and my usual symbolic overtones should make is the perfect compliment to the V&A's surrealist exhibition, which they hope to promote. Another new song below, a simple melody with everything written off the top of my head.

Just One More Day in Sweden

How can I love you?
How can I love you
when I am away?
Please tell me
how I can love you,
now that love you
twice everyday.

I want you here
in Sweden,
but you can see
it cannot be.
I'll be back soon
from Sweden,
and then
I will show you

How I can love you,
how I can love you
when I am at home.
I'll show you
how I can love you
when I am with you
not here alone.

I'm far away
in Sweden,
thinking of you
nothing to do.
Just one more day
in Sweden,
and then
I will be with
you.

My Cat Doesn't Understand Death

Here are the words to my latest song, inspired by the thought that a cat can miss people but (probably) not understand where they've gone when they die. I added a double meaning about a failed relationship (the music is rather like a country and western ballad, sort of slow and swaying). This is my 290th song since I Love You For Your Money in 2002. Perhaps I can manage to hit that 300 total this year.

My Cat Doesn't Understand Death, She Only Knows How To Kill

Thankyou for the gift.
What do you want me to do with it?
Now go and play with the kids.
Don't look confused,
I am the one who is not amused.
You do not know what you did.

My cat doesn't understand death,
she only knows how to kill.
My cat doesn't understand death,
she only knows how to kill.

Lying on the floor.
What do you think that the bed is for?
You have no clue what you've done.
Happy and content
beside your victim who's cold and bent.
No happy days in the sun.

My cat doesn't understand death,
she only knows how to kill.
My cat doesn't understand death,
she only knows how to kill.

Dining is a treat,
I have the carrots you have the meat.
It's all we do as a pair.
Bite every bit.
You play the hitter and I the hit.
It's not as if you can care.

My cat doesn't understand death,
she only knows how to kill.
My cat doesn't understand death,
she only knows how to kill.

I Keep Soldiering On

In my recent low mood my subconscious wrote a stirring song for me last night to boost morale. It's a simplistic military march with hymnal qualities, it even has a plagal cadence at the end of the chorus:

I Keep Soldiering On

What I'm told to do I do.
Where I'm told to go I go,
through the burning heat and freezing snow.
When I have to fight I'll fight.
When I have to die I'll die,
and I will not ever question why.

I keep soldiering on.
I keep soldiering on.
I keep soldiering on.
Though the road is hard and long,
I will sing my soldier's song
as I keep soldiering on.

What I need to know I'll know.
Where I need to be I'll be.
All the great wide world is home to me.
I will journey far and wide.
I won't run away or hide,
and I'll do what must be done with pride.

I keep soldiering on.
I keep soldiering on.
I keep soldiering on.
Though the road is hard and long,
I will sing my soldier's song
as I keep soldiering on.

Anaerobic Chamber News

My latest construction project is this simple anaerobic chamber, which when combined with a candle to burn off the oxygen will help me store my painting media in an oxygen free environment (which is useful to preserve an exact viscosity). My painting phase is over now. My annual plan was based around approx. six months of painting to test the water and learn (it would be inefficient to work a bit here or there on something when the goal is to learn). Game sales are very low now though and perhaps I've wasted too long on pointless projects. Oh well, it could be said that van Gogh wasted ten years. I hope to do some music and sound effects during this month (although Steven is still very slow at coming up with the vocal recordings I need, it looks like The Journey will take over two years). After that I must start on a major game again. Part of me thinks that a new game would be a waste of time too given the way things are going, and given that of all the things I've done my games (which I've spent longest on) are probably the thing I'm least good at, but I suppose life itself is pointless.

I Saw It

Now I'm getting back into musical mode I've been writing a few more songs. This one is very catchy musically and fast, the chorus is a bit like the one in Echo Beach by Martha and the Muffins.

I Saw It

I saw it on the TV,
but that was years ago.
It was so far away but
closer than I could know
and it left nervousness around.
There was a motion in the ground.

One night I had a vision,
I saw it in a dream.
A dragon made of iron
fighting a man of steam
and you were lying on the ground.
I woke up crying out aloud.

I got the message on the Saturday
I hit the motor and I sped away
and in an hour I was almost at our home.
I stopped the engine as I saw the date.
The distant flashes said I was too late.
I thought of you and then I sat down on the shore
and saw the ocean go.

I saw it on the TV,
too far for me to care.
Reporters spoke of victims
and people in despair.
I turned it off to read instead.
I kissed you then I went to bed.

I got the message on the Saturday
I hit the motor and I sped away
and in an hour I was almost at our home.
I stopped the engine and I saw the date.
The distant flashes said I was too late.
I thought of you and then I sat down on the shore
and saw the ocean go.

And now it's on the TV
They say it's everywhere.
They say we should not worry.
They say we should not care,
but it leaves nervousness around.
I hide my panic underground

as I remember on that Saturday
I hit the motor and I sped away
I drove like lighting but I couldn't get to you.
I stopped the engine and I stepped outside
I'd seen the calendar and knew you'd died,
the distant flashes told me everything was true.
I closed the driver door with gentle care.
I walked onto our beach without you there.
I thought of everything and sat down on the shore
and then I saw no more.

I Have Wasted All My Time

As well as finishing off the underpainting to my latest work I've been working on some music for the past few days, adding some new guitar sounds to My Motorbike the first track on The Journey. I've written a couple of new songs too, my best in a while. Here is the first:

I Have Wasted All My Time

I have wasted all my time
and I've wasted all my money.
I've been working every day it's true.
when I should have in stayed in bed
or go out to drink instead.
I have wasted all my time over you.

And there were times when I felt contented
just with the thought of you.
My future days were all meadow scented
but now those dreams are blue.

I have wasted evenings out
and I've wasted evenings in
when the time I spent with you just flew.
Now my hair has all turned grey
and my friends have gone away
because I wasted every day on you.

And there were times when I felt elated
just with your company.
My silver years should be golden plated
instead you've ruined me.

I have wasted all my nights
and I've wasted all my days.
I've been thinking every hour of you
when I should have gone for walks
or had esoteric talks
instead of wasting all my days
instead of wasting all my time
instead of wasting all my life
over you.

Waiting For Godot

My latest poem which is entitled and is about Beckett's play Waiting For Godot.

Waiting For Godot

Not long.

We'll fly high,
when Godot arrives.
I won't lie, then.

Each plan will enact.
Dominoes fall.
A better world for all.
A hero, repsected.
Me.

It can't be long
until Godot comes.
All is ready, for then.

So we wait.

Slow Progress

More work on the complex background of my painting today (which is many things, an earthquake and also flailing arms and a cloak blowing in the wind) plus some preparations for the next layer of a picture with a mixed bag of titles, it might end up as "self-portrait as clouds". The Liberté de Expression exhibition submission date has closed and I have submitted two of my favourite paintings, I'll have to wait two weeks before I hear whether either have been accepted. The "One Love" competition deadline is Monday too. These two represent my only attempts at publicity for my painting this year but the lack of effort on that front doesn't concern me because my work is slowly yet continually getting better, which is the important thing. The quality of the picture my ultimate concern. Time, money, pain and all other considerations must come second. It looks like the pictures that I have in progress will take another month to finish at least which is regrettable but if it takes a month it takes a month. If a year is necessary, a year is necessary. Short cuts and/or laziness makes a poor artist. It's better to make one good thing than a hundred bad ones.