First Wonderland Rehearsal

Another full day and a feeling of too little done, yet I (and we) have not stopped, and remain aching all over from recent work.

Did more work on the Shakespeare drawing, and prepared the equipment for a Wonderland rehearsal. I needed to check the projector and how it worked. It remains stupid in operation, but usable. Another weak link in its chain is the complete reliance on a remote control. Lose it or have it not work (the buttons are not very reliable) and the whole performance can be jeopardised. Well, I'll wait until a final set-list before thinking about videos. 90% of a music show is carrying, unpacking, connecting, and sound checking. The actual performance is 10%, and despite needing to remember every note and nuance of each piece, the hardest work remains the physical carrying, setting up and technical aspects. I barely have any time to worry about playing the music.

In the afternoon we did our first rehearsal, a basic run through of each song and which instruments will be needed and which parts have music, where the speech comes in etc. Many of these songs will be performed live for the first time. Some, like Herr Kasperle, are quite advanced musically and will involve solos. I need to write down the music and words for these. I began our live performance career with a simple list, but now, 4 years later, I will soon need a page for each song.

A really long day, but I think a lot of progress has been made. If the music was all written out, and if I could read it fluently, there would be far less need for rehearsal time, but a lot more time spent writing it all out. In many ways, it's good that it has been so long since our last show. It has permitted some leaps which might not have happened if we had evolved slowly; Deb will play lots of guitar for the first time (in the recordings, I play all of the guitar, but can't do this live AND play all of the keyboards). I also realise that need to notate a lot more music, just so that I remember them all - without this I might merely remember it from the previous show, when, ideally, it would all be notated. In practice, that will never happen because at least half of the tracks are very complex and improvised in complex fancies.

Some of the most simple are the most beautiful. The Candle Burns is little more that a descent of four chords in arpeggios, from high on the keyboard, to low, and a dramatic melodic fantasy in those chords, yet it works so well. Some, Like The Cabinet of Dr. Eckelmann or Siamese Twin Domestic are more like musical sound effects or explosions in response to the words, and very different each time we perform them. Dead Hand is such a complex work (it's on our Apocalypse album) which I improvised in one take for the album, but which I'd have little hope of ever duplicating, though I could notate it by 'cheating' and transcribing the MIDI file. I know that, for posterity if not live performance, I should.

This one, 2-hour show will take us at least 8 full days and a lot of energy in between to rehearse. I can see how it is more efficient to arrange a tour with identical sets each evening.

Rehearsals, Shakespeare Drawing

A slow day yesterday. I spent the morning setting up the piano and two synths to run through the set-list for our Knutsford performance. At the moment we have 29 songs/poems, which is a lot, probably too many. I will need MP3 recordings for some and needed to design a few new instruments. Deb assumed that we would be using the projector, which I hadn't considered. This would mean making 29 videos, or at least some. The problem with the projector is that technologies like this introduce more risk. I can control it with a remote control but everything needs to be carefully set up. If I press the wrong button accidentally, the whole thing can be ruined. It's impossible in the middle or a show to cancel or try to reset things. The people who design projectors seem to put no thought into how the projector might be used. The playing order of a list of videos, for example, isn't down to filename or date or any file attibute, it defaults to the read order from the USB stick, the order the files were copied over! Rather than wait, films will jump to the next one automatically, so the idea of making a short looping film, or one that will simply end and stop is out of the question.

In the afternoon I started to sketch out Moon Over Shakespeare but it was slow going. On we push!

Two Dreams, Larger Surfaces

I dream of being alone on a small rowing boat in the middle of a night ocean. I could hear distant screams or ghosts. There was something horrible, a red mark like splattered blood. I awoke terrified. This seems to relate to the Spree Killer painting, which has a similar mark, and also, the boat has a few painting connections.

I slept again and dreamt of an evening meal and party being hosted here, in our garage outside. Many of the guests were celebrities including Bob Monkhouse, and Little & Large. Eddie Large looked thinner and had dark, sunken eyes. He had suffered a hard time 'recovering' from Covid-19, I talked to him about it, and to Syd about his work and money troubles. Another Covid-19 victim was there, perhaps Bobby Ball. The party was generally jovial though.

Today I completed the underpainting for Spree Killer, the difficult minature work of the main family, though I've felt very tired. I remain enthusued with art and ambitious despite my fatigue.

I'm thinking of methods for painting and preparing larger canvases. I like solid surfaces, I think the lack of flexibility makes these safer and generally easier to use, though they can be prone to damage, as scratches are not deflected, and these can be heavy. Perhaps 3mm MDF with canvas, plus 6mm MDF as a rigid support might work.

Spree Killer Underpainting

Two days underpainting Spree Killer, here is a look at the colour study:

It was a slow day yesterday, I woke late and tired, so rather than start painting I proofread part of The Many Beautiful Worlds of Death. In the afternoon started on the 'rocks' on the right here. 

The initial composition was something like my 'Prometheus as a Turkey' painting, which was itself inspired by a masterful painting called Holly by Louis Smith, which presumably was itself inspired by Leonardo's Virgin on the Rocks. A view of a light sky as seen from a sort of cave. I wanted a light yellow sky rather than blue, as the house on the left is burning. This made the overall hue warm and yellow, so I made the floor blue-ish, well, greenish, actually cobalt turquoise, for balance.

Most of the rocks use raw umber, which is just a little too transparent for comfort for an underpainting. The hue is pretty but it needs real exactitude of application to get a perfectly smooth layer.

Today I finished most of the rest, leaving the family group for tomorrow.

The title was conceived at the instant of drawing it, as with most of my paintings, an idea about the psychology of a spree killer...

...perhaps; but perhaps not. When scaling the work up, I used a photo of my mother, brother, and self as the family, and the feeling and meaning for me, at least, is transformed. Most of my paintings this year, from Cromwell to the Gynocratic one are about my father.

I will complete the painting tomorrow. Like many of my recent works, this is a small 30x40cm. For years, my standard size was even smaller, 234x336mm, but now I feel that everything is too small. This painting would have been better bigger. The workload isn't hugely different when on canvas (on a smooth panel things are more difficult, dust is more evident and it takes more time to keep everything smooth and even). Generally, the time to paint is almost the same for a large painting, it's a matter of using bigger brushes, but more paint is needed, and (of course) a bigger surface, and a more expensive frame and more difficulty to transport. I have two other paintings drawn out from my initial 2021 batch, so I'm still on this first generation. The next one to draw out will be a relatively old idea, the Moon Over Shakespeare, but also a new work...

When will these works be framed or shown? Who knows. I have some exhibitions and competitions but always so much more work that I can show. So many of my paintings have hardly, or even never, been exhibited.

Studies, Silver Frames, Hand of Destiny Photography

A slower day today. I started with a painted colour study for a complex work, Spree Killer, which is effectively about dashed possibilities of family. I developed a quick way to prepare a surface for these: I scan the drawing, laser print it at A4 size onto card, then stick the card to a 3mm piece of wood (normally a cheap backing board from a picture frame) using PVA glue. Then I apply some acrylic sealer like Golden GAC100, roll that with a sponge roller, then apply gesso, rolling that too. The gesso is normally transparent enough to show the drawing through. This creates a really cheap and fast surface for oil painting that is non absorbent.

This worked well today, and the Lefranc gesso was revealed to have a great tooth and perform well now. I painted the study, it's a complex and otherworldly work, and needed this to work out the many colour options.

After that I took outside two silver frames which had a sort of rottenstone dust applied, and spent a couple of hours scrubbing these with water and a toothbrush and sponge to try and clear them up; this worked but there is a still a lot to do on these. After a couple of months of pain in my left shoulder and arm, almost like a 'trapped nerve', today, a similar pain appeared in my left knee. Not welcome.

Then I did some lighting models for an old painting about entropy and information decay and retention, originally called Soul of Genius, now called Hand of Destiny. The photography involved some complex use of lighting as parts are lit from above, some from below.

I've got three underdrawings ready to paint, so should perhaps work on those before I draw out any new works; next on my list to draw out are Moon Over Shakespeare and Hand of Destiny.

One other job for today was writing out the basic music notation for our Jabberwocky music, I will need that for Knutsford, though the news about Covid-19 is not pleasant today. I wrote the music for Clown Face yesterday. I've generally felt tired, weak, and lacking in enthusiasm today, but have achieved a reasonable amount.

Lascaux Gesso and Gesso Brand Comparisons, Painting

A somewhat frustrating day at first, woke too late and had a lot of small jobs and a lack of focus, but I fought through this jungle of the day and into a bit of a sunlit meadow of creation.

The Lascaux Primer arrived, which was interesting. Gesso is complex to quantify and compare because it can vary in viscosity, absorbency, tooth and finish (plastic/chalky, matt/gloss) as well as basics like pigment density/opacity. All these things matter. It would help if there were standard units for these and each manufacturer listed them but as we are, artists must try them all.

Now, I bought this because my Lefranc and Bourgeous Gesso had thickened to a cream-like constituency, going from 1478g (for a litre) when new, down to 748g five years later, as the water had evaporated. By amusing coincidence, it now looks and behaves exactly like the new Lascaux Primer. Of course, I haven't tested absorbency and other things in detail, but in consistency and tooth, the two are indistinguishable.

I've tried 4 brands to date:

-Winsor and Newton (red label). Made before 2010. This had a jelly-like constituency which I liked at the time because I use a roller and a watery gesso can spatter. I've used this exclusively for priming almost all of my paintings to date (mostly on MDF panels). Only now has my last tub of this expired. Sandable, and with a quite strong tooth with an almost glittery aspect (quartz? mica?).

-Winsor and Newton (black label). After about 2010, they reformulated to make this. Much more liquid, perhaps the most liquid of any gesso I've tried. A palette knife won't lift any, you must pour it or use a brush. Too liquid for me, and less tooth.

-Lefranc and Bourgeous. When new, this was slightly thicker than Winsor and Newton black label, but still quite fluid, not jelly-like at all. Very fine tooth. As I said, now after 5 years of thickening, and sanding two test patches, it appears to be indistinguishable from Lascaux Primer, but my 1 litre has shrunk down to about 500ml anyway. I've no idea if this loss of water has changed the chemistry; I don't know if acrylic suspensions in water oxidise or merely evaporate. Like the Winsor and Newton brands this has a cardboard sealer-thing in the lid, which tends to stick to the rim, become damp, glued and then peel off leaving bits of cardboard in the gesso.

-Lascaux Primer. 785g for 500ml (in the tub, of course, one can only compare weight like with like). A heavy, cream-like constituency, the stuff on the top of the lid won't drip down and holds peaks. About the consistency of the extra-thick spoonable dairy cream we all buy for mince pies. A very fine tooth in my one test, but have not painted on it so can't fully comment on absorbency or tooth. This is intended as a smooth top coat or general primer. Lascaux Gesso is supposed to be rougher, with more tooth and more absorbency. As I like a smooth surface, I was unsure which to get. I will probably try both.

There is no cardboard sealer in the Lascaux lid, in fact, nothing. For acrylic media or PVA glue this can mean a danger that the whole tub will dry into a solid lump over time. Golden seal their rims with insulation tape to stop this (they also use the cardboard sealers, though a bit higher quality, more plastic). One trick here is to turn the tub upside down once to seal the gaps. This can allow the media to set and form an airtight seal around the lid, but this also can glue the lid firmly shut. I now seal the lids with cling film.

I will list any future Gessos if I remember.

At about 3pm I started painting and added another paint layer to the tiny (15mm square) face on Land of Beauty and Sorrow. I think it looks better now. I will have to check in the light of a new day. The joy of oil paint is that the very tiny tiniest of marks remain, the slightest of slight strokes, even breath itself moves the paint. Sometimes I paint without being able to see the result, knowing that it is having an effect. This tiny face took 90 minutes.

After that, I decided to rework Covidopolis. The sky was too uneven in finish, all due to the rubbish canvas board surface. I glazed it with some azo yellow, a wonderful and strange colour. My recent lighting guides were not of use for it. In the original plan, which I stuck to firmly, the sky had lots of little lines in, like the sugar strands 'hundreds and thousands':

These are like dust, dirt, virus particles, but the painting looked very otherworldly and unrealistic. The division between the foreground triangles and background 'dashes' was too stark... I felt that I needed to add something real, organic, so made these dots into silhouettes of birds. I first imagined crows but a quick image search gave me some doves, which by happy coincidence seemed perfect; the souls of Covid-19 victims perhaps, a peaceful element to contrast with the foreground.

I may keep working on this painting yet, but for now it is drying. I don't feel like painting tomorrow so will plan the colours for Spree Killer, or perhaps the Volcanism picture (already out of date in my latest philosophy of aesthetics) and perhaps work on other compositions. It is 11pm and I'm only just finishing. It is time to enter the world of dreams.

Lighting Models

A full day of lots of little jobs yesterday, started with the initial setlist for 'Wonderland', our show ofr Knutsford Music Festival.

Then made a foldable table by fixing a camera tripod screw thread to a piece of wood, allowing this to be screwed to the top of a tripod to make a simple platform. I made some lighting models for paintings from Newplast and used this to position them.

I made a few models for existing paintings and future ones. I've also fixed these tripod nuts to some battery lights, so can use cheap tripods to mount spotlights at complex angles quickly.

I'm full of ideas, I feel I'm darting between too many projects. I'm still not happy with the earlier ones of the year, but must proceed carefully. There is no time for much except painting at the moment, but I must also work on the Fall in Green music; I may be playing 3 synths and my electric guitar this time, and redrafting The Many Beautiful Worlds of Death. These alternative creative works act like a break.

On we push.

Starcrossed, Old and New

A frustrating day, anxious about recent works that I'm not happy with. However I vow to only produce great work from now on, I keep thinking that it won't take much work to brilliantify the recent paintings that I'm unhappy with. Perfectionism is something like an anxiety disorder. Of course, the better we get, the worse out previous work seems.

I primed a 3mm panel and coping-sawed a new round for the Love is Dead reworking. I noted that my Winsor and Newton acrylic gesso is rather stiff, from a thick to very jelly-like. I decided to look at the other tub by Lefranc & Bourgeois, new in 2013 and still not used. I discovered that it's mostly dried and is now a thick, cream-like constituency like spooning cream. It was liquied when I last tried it. This might be useful but it might be spoiled. I've used the Winsor and Newton one for so long now (I boughty two 1l tubs) that I might never get through this thick one. It's amazing that, in 2013, this cost £5. Now one litre of Gesso costs £25... and some brands costs £50 or 60. I can't help but feel that this is a matter a price fixing, surely marble dust and titanium white can't be that much more expensive now?

Either way, I'm now at the stage where I want the best. I spent the morning researching and I like the look of Lascaux. They make three types: Gesso, Primer, and Uni-Primer. Gesso is apparently rougher and more absorbant, perhaps like gesso grosso, Primer, finer, and Uni-Primer for outdoors or solid surfaces like steel. I like the sound of all of these; they are in the £50-ish bracket.

In the afternoon I applied a second layer to the new Starcrossed Escape restoration. It was difficult, I had a headache due to eye strain and didn't feel like painting at all, but, I needed to, and I've never paid attention to feelings about work; work must be done. Nobody remembers Mozart for the days he had off. The results were fine. Here is a before and after:

More layers to are come.

The portrait of Liza Minnelli which I donated to Barnardo's in Macclesfield went on sale today and it sold within the first hour, which is excellent news. Of course, I get none of the money, but any sale is to be celebrated.