A frustratingly slow day, but refinement of a new song, written last night. It began as an improvisation on two chords 'strummed' on a virtual harp, creating a mood like a Gymnopédie by Satie. The words were inspired by the feeling of an imagined third party completing the story of the Girl Reading a Letter. Here is the current draft:
Autumn's Shadow
I am standing in your shadow,
hiding from the world,
frightened by my thoughts,
frightened by your thoughts
or silence (silence);
I am sorry (I am sorry)
for my letter (I am sorry).
for my thoughts,
for your tears.
I was a leaf, lost in the wind.
I needed someone
to protect me from a sky
that was broken by someone else.
In my transparent form
I can kiss with loveless lips,
wish comfort for your tears,
say sorry for my secret
goodbye (goodbye).
I am sorry (I am sorry)
I lacked courage (too afraid)
to tell you
when last we met.
I was a leaf, now I am autumn's shadow
You will remember me more than I you.
Seal every good memory
in the acorn of these words.
Female artists tend, in general, to feel one thing and express that feeling. Men inherently have two emotions: a public emotion and a second, hidden and 'true' emotion. This is necessary among males of many species, humans included, to permit a bluff during combat with other males - a heartfelt intent to fight, defeat, kill. It's far more efficient to prove a victory without fighting, so the ability to 'prove' an emotion is of great utility, so a great advantage to have more than one. Of course, no person is pure male or pure female, but generally, female artists tend to express their feelings, and male artists express any feeling, and most typically express an abstract emotion, taken from a life experience, a drama. I say all of this because, in this song, the truth in the feeling comes from myself as the letter reader, not as the protagonist. In the shadow of reality that the song depicts, a letter was written to me, but, in reality, it was, alas, not.
In terms of the musicality, the recording I've made of the harp sounds wonderful and expressive, but when I try to sequence and time it, so much emotion is lost. To compensate, I made something of a complex timing in the melody and then a second melody using the gaps in the music to emulate something like an M. C. Escher image in music. I'm unsure which is best.
