New Album Covers

A good day today. Have tidied up the plaster wall which is all ready now for wallpapering, the glorious final step.

I've also started work on new album covers, mostly for the older electronic works that had very abstract or digital looking desgins that lacked an identity.

Here is the current cover for The Arcangel Soundtrack:

And here is my new design, so far:

The difference is huge. The first could be anything, a game, any old product; the second looks like an album cover. I tihnk it's important that my image appears on the cover. It will mean, of course, that it will be a contemporary me rather than a contemporaneous me, but that will also serve to unify a current image, so it has an upside too. I aim to update the Flatspace soundtrack covers too, plus Bites of Greatness, and perhaps The Tweleve Seasons, although that existing cover is rather good (and also exists in 600dpi, unlike these early albums, which is another motivation to rework these older covers, to bring them up to my current standard resolution).

One other thing done today is making a simple video for the forthcoming Fall in Green track, Mandalino. This is a simple one that uses the old Pierrot ident from ArtSwarm with a simple colour alteration.

Plaster and Past Sales

Applied the plaster layer, or one plaster layer, to my fireplace yesterday, a horrible experience of being micro-managed by my mother at every step. The result if awful, but was the best I could do in the circumstances of having no control over or responsibility for this job.

I also recorded new vocals for the track Falling, a poem from The Burning Circus about appreciating a climb only when falling. The earlier vocals were rather bold and Shakespearean in tone, but I thought a more resigned and quiet tone would work better. I hope now that this is the end to the music tweaks. I mastered and broke up the tracks into invidividual wav files too.

Jobs to do: Album artwork, for this, and other albums. I also need videos for this and ideally The Dusty Mirror, and perhaps for some older albums like The Spiral Staircase. I generally dislike making videos and get little in return. I wonder if making music videos is worth it... perhaps in 10 or 20 years I'll find myself updating my current videos; the job is endless, a symptom of my need to make things ideal and perfect. I've not made any Spiral Staircase videos though, the only one was the wonderful 45-minute one made by dear Sue for my Electric Picture House Performance. One might be useful for the sake of completeness.

I've refined the outline of a future concept album, it has a theme of struggle. I feel that I'd really want to do that and forget the videos, but I at least need album artwork for Apocalypse. The jobs seem frenetic and never ending and the result of this is a lack of energy, the anxious energy cancels out and leaves me unfocused and without the desire to do anything. I feel that the last two weeks have been for nothing; yet, I can see that this isn't the case. I'm reminded again of the Buddhist wisdom that a bucket is filled drip by drip. It's not important how much is done in a day, all that is needed is one tiny step in the right direction.

One other thing I did yesterday was set up and announce a Flatspace II sale for its 15-year anniversary on October 24th. I totted up the all-time sales of Flatspace II and Flatspace IIk; they have sold 729 copies. If they had sold 7000 or 70,000 my life would have vastly changed. Would I have become an artist? Still, 700 was/is a good result, no other game has sold as much as 70. It was/is a taste of what a hit feels and behaves like. 21st Century Surrealism has sold 105 copies so far, so this is my next most popular creation, and it took off in a similar way.

I must stop past reflections and get back to work. My best work lies in the future. There is a lot to do so I must motivate myself with clear goals, and remind myself that time, health, abilities, are limited.

More Cement, Wire Jabberwocky and Stop-Motion Animation Models

Cement day two, filling in smaller gaps with a mere 500ml or so of sand and cement.

Then I adjusted the vocal balance for the loud finale of Jabberwocky, due to Deb's feedback. Getting the vocal volume right is tricky in this track because the climax of the music corresponds with the climax of the vocals too. The best option is to reduce elements of the music rather than boost the vocals. I'm not really fan of 'riding the console', that is dipping the music levels temporarily to make way for vocals, I prefer to design a tune such that vocals can smoothly fit into any music, but that only really works with pop songs or muisc with a steady and regular level of sound. Jabberwocky is much more like classical music in the mix.

After that I started work on a model Jabberwocky for the music video. This is only a possible model... I have an idea for the video, but the look of the model and how it will be animated or move is not decided yet. Sparks' Edith Piaf video is an inspiration but I want to avoid stop-motion animation if at all possible; it takes too long and I've never done it before.

No matter how the video works, a model Jabberwocky will be needed, a poseable one, so I spent an hour or two making a wire skeleton, actually from garden wire which I twisted into twin strands using a power drill because I've run out of modelling wire. This seems to be tough - I hope it will resist metal fatigue. After making a basic skeleton, I added some Milliput to the main joint areas, places which won't move where there are a lot of wire knots. This will stop the limbs, fingers etc. sliding about or becoming loose. The head is a semi-permanent afterthought - it can be pulled off if I don't like or need it. This is all skeleton - hidden underparts. I could cover all of it with fur or felt... or anything else. I wondered if I could dip it all in Paraloid B72 acrylic resin to give it a smooth coating. Would it remain flexible? I think it would flex enough. Perhaps this is an ideal coating that could be sculpted and painted and yet remain posable? the ideal substance would be hard enough to look like a real animal yet flexible enough to bend at the joints.

I have some heat-melt rubber (used for making moulds) - that might work and is certainly flexible, but how could it be applied? And could it be scuplted and painted? Probably not, it is very greasy in texture, almost like a slimy jelly. I could use sponge for the joints and a harder substance, like the epoxy clay, for the immovable parts.

Is Paraloid B72 flexible? Most acrylic tends to be, well, the paint can be, perspex is rather brittle. The dry Paraloid chips seem brittle. Uhu glue seems to set into a transparent but very rubbery blob. Perhaps hot-melt glue would work, or PVA, or Golden Clear Tar Gel - that is rather flexible.

Cement

Listened to the start of perhaps my favoruite Bowie album, Heathen, last night. I love Afraid. Then a semi-sleepless night. Awoke late to mum's ever-busyness. It was time to strip the wallpaper from my fireplace wall then start plastering. We had the idea of sticking some plasterboard there, but it barely fitted so we applied mortar instead by way of rough plaster. It's such a small space that there's no need to buy a big bag of plaster just for it.

The paper was stripped by 12pm, and the mortar applied by 3pm. It was rather a thick layer, perhaps 15mm in places, and the sandy watery stuff, not far off the consistency of a river bed, was in danger of falling off at every stage, it started to dangerously slump down, but it held, and as it dried I managed to shave it smooth leaving a rough surface a few millimetres shallower than the surrounding wall; enough for some finishing plaster. There wasn't enough mortar to cover it all, so we'll have to mix more tomorrow. It was all too precarious to mix and apply this at the time.

The day feels wasted as a result and I'm still somewhat achey after the first day of labour. The lockdown has left me unfit. It feels good to do this sort of work but my digestive system doesn't seem to efficiently cope with it; it's a matter of training. Food is a balance, we must eat what we need - no more. Eating too much and doing too little is the ultimate cause of diseases like diabetes; it trains the body to ignore nutrients, become inefficient. I err towards eating too little, this trains the body to use every scrap of energy, to toughen up, but again, too much of this eats away muscles and other cell friends. I've noticed that the vision in my right eye is now very poor, I can barely see beyond 2M with it.

After the building work, I worked a little on the album; tweaking Lost at the Fair. The bass part seemed hard to balance - in many ways the key to any audio mixing is handling bass. This has a long bass, a tone of about 2 seconds, which can be a problem. It all worked much better when this was faded away in a sort of inverse bell curve. Musically it sounded amazingly similar, yet the mixing worked better. A bass is best when it first appears, the impact. It is that 'boom' that gives it power, which is why there is an ideal length for it.

I also extended Mandalino to segue it into the previous track. Another master is burned. Perhaps this album is done. I must avoid obsessive working on this music; it's probably fine and I'm getting tired of it. I need to work on the cover art but the building works, however minor, are a constant distraction and are tiring me out physically and mentally. I remind myself that I am Heracles, a mere third through my great life. All Greek warriors ache after labour. This is good, not a thing to complain about.

The Covid news is all bad, we are back to the state of March or April. I remain optimistic, but ultimately all we can do is our best. Deb and I have hardly 'mixed indoors' since late February, perhaps met three times inside, and I've certainly not been into any other house. How I miss her touch and our times together.

Lost at the Fair II

A busy enough day. I started by updating Prometheus again. I'm now on version 2.64, so 64 revisions since it was first complete. Today I added icons to precalculate the music to the Sequencer Window; next to Play where they will be more useful. Actual changes to the program are getting less common, I'm tending to improve what is there already.

Last night I listened to the first CD Master of Apocalypse of Clowns. It was generally fine. Two tracks needed minor changes to the stereo space - I rarely listen to the music though headphones when woking on a tune now, it always harms the mix compared to listening through my fantastic Samson Resolv monitors, but of course it sounds far better though headphones so is my preferred way to listen to music for pleasure. The lack of headphones when mixing means that tiny details can be missed though, like those stereo issues, so I've fixed them today. I also added a tail to the final chord in Dead Hand. The piano there is completely dry, but the last chord sounded too flat.

The next issue was volume; Jabberwocky at the end was too quiet compared to the rest of the album - this is partly because it's a very dyanamic song; the peaks are loud enough but most of the song (well, poem) is not at peak. I've turned down the vocals so can afford to turn it all up anyway. In the end I could boost the volume by 10% without clipping. I also made the prior track, and others on the album, quieter. In the old days I used to like albums that were loud, but now I prefer to turn up the volume on my amp; this is the correct way, I've probably evolved into this by listening to classical music. I get really annoyed by music that is compressed in the master and sounds solidly noisy like a log of sound all the way through. It sounds like distorted noise. I refuse to compress when mastering or ever compress a whole track of anything - it only serves to kill drama and emotional dynamism.

My big problem with Apocalypse v1.00 was Lost at the Fair, one of the early tracks for February. It had a meandering organ solo with limited melody and it generally felt emotionless and noisy at the same time. Today I decided to remake a new version, using Deb's orginal vocal recordings (how blessed I am to be able to do this! If this were a song I could hardly rewrite it and still use the same vocals!) I'm much happier with the result. In many ways it is simpler; a simple descending chord sequence, in 7-time to give it a slightly strange feeling of being lost or confused. I added some gentle chords, like a memory... the poem is about losing one's mother so needs poignancy... the simple chords help with this, it far better than the old version; that was noisy and chaotic, like a busy and loud fairground; this version has a bit of everything.

I also made a wooden surround for the fireplace downstairs (like a tiny picket fence of pine) and cut some plasterboard for the hole in my wall.

I must work on new art, new ambitions, new plans. I have an idea for the Jabberwocky video and need props for that. I'm getting frustrated at these little jobs, the wall etc. This frustration is good, it's energy for pushing on when these things are out of the way.

Jobs to do; finalise the story structure for my next album which will be a dystopian concept album. I must also write something on Covid-19 for a Crewe Creative Writer's competition, and type up a script for the Cheshire Prize for Literature. As yet, this script, a half hour existentialist dialogue, is my only idea. I hope to come up with a few so that I can choose the best (whatever that means, I tend to like the ones that the judges don't and dislike the ones they like - such are contests). Plays are limited to 15 minutes so I'll have to edit this script anyway.

Bricklaying

I love learning and trying new skills. I was reading about Phil Collins the other day, how he joined Genesis aged 20 or so, learned new skills; acting, then singing, touring, solo albums... I realised that in music I've had to write and record my music, playing all of the instruments myself, programming the sequencing software and designing the synthesizers and all of the audio effects, building the studio, learning mixing and production, performing live including booking and promoting the events (designing the posters, setting up and sound checking, greeting the audience, taking tickets etc.) designing all of the album artwork, directing, filming and editing the music videos, founding the record company, publishing the music, registering the work with the relevant authorities, etc.

I love trying different things, and the above is only one example... in painting I've had to learn countless skills from oil painting to woodworking, glass cutting, gilding, wood carving, plaster casting etc. etc. In house building I've needed to plaster a wall once - this was difficult but enjoyable because it was a challenge. No skill is particularly harder than any other although all are difficult at first. Is playing the piano harder than carving and gilding a picture frame? Is cutting stained glass harder than plastering a wall? All become easier with repeated practice. I'll never be a world champion tennis player, I'm too short, but occasional examples like that aside, I strongly believe that almost any skill can be mastered by anyone.

Today I needed to brick up the hole in my wall where the fire used to be. This was tricky because the hole was a very strange shape, with fragments of old bricks and shattered halves at each side. The old bricks (nearly 100 years old) were a bit bigger and heavier than current bricks. The height space also involved an awkward half-brick which was impossible to cut so we decided on wood, not strong, but it will fill the gap. First step, cutting the bricks into bits to see what would fit:

Then a quick YouTube glance on how to do it - YouTube is a fantastic resource! And some laying later:

The key part is getting everything level... the gaps between the bricks are a bit haphazard, mainly because they had to fit into the pattern of the old larger bricks which sometimes had huge blocks of mortar set in there. In no way would this wall hold up against strain, it's a matter of sealing the hole, that's all; but that's fine as it's been a hole since, in all likelihood, the house was built. There doesn't seem to be any sort of lintel or bar above the hole as there would (I imagine) need to be nowadays, but hey ho, the result should be strong enough. The next step will be the plaster which will be a mix of plasterboard cut to an abstract shape and wet plaster for the gaps. It won't be perfect, but hopefully good enough.

Nightmares, B&Q, Covid

Woke at 3am then stayed awake until 6am, feelings of pressure and dry-eye discomfort, followed by three nightmares. In the first I was contacted by someone in Northern Ireland who wanted to commission me to write some music for a funeral and go there to perform it. I said that I couldn't go there until at least 2021 (and I felt anxious about any ida of trave anyway), but would happily write the music, but I found the situation disturbing and macabre, as though my death was implied. In the second I fought violently with Mark Edmonds who stole one of my power tools provocatively then taunted and insulted me, and at one point tore up my childhood soft toys. The third dream was a complex adventure which I can hardly recall but I think explosives were part of it.

As a result of this bad night I awoke beyond 10am and the morning flew by with no artistic achievements apart from vague aims and hopes. For the next day or two I must make a surround for the fireplace, and brick up the hole in my bedroom wall. In the afternoon Deb and I visited Dagfields for gifts and rest, and we then visited B & Q for supplies for the building work.

I feel restless and annoyed at my lack of art. Perhaps my soul is missing painting. Perhaps the few days of work on the house will be something of a reset. The Covid-19 news is bleak and grim. I still badly miss seeing Deb indoors, and seeing other friends. We have become a nation of monks, atheist monks.

Music, Marillion and Image

A strange and complex dream last night. I wanted a projection screen for an event which was outside, and I had to mutilate cows, or extract tiny organs or glands from their living bodies to achieve this. I barely recall much else.

The day has flown by. I've finalised my Christmas and birthday gifts for 2020, and almost all presents are done. I tweaked the Jabberwock a little, slightly lowering the vocals, and have ordered a few things online. It feels like a day of rest after a hectic week. Covid-19 is in a clear second wave, partly due, I feel, to students and micro-peak events. Still, I feel that the end of September, specifically the 24th, was the nadir and that things are getting better.

I listened to Marillion's Brave last night, an album recommended to me by Simon Ladley. It does have a very 90s sort of sound - very clean. The band themselves said that they're part Pink Floyd, part Radiohead, part Muse, part Coldplay. The result is a beige blur of consistent sound which is pretty and soulless. The vocals are inaudibly low so any hint of poetry or a story is lost; this is the worst sound mixing on any album I've heard. The only other Marillion album I have is Script For A Jester's Tear which is brimming with 80s theatricality, though it reminds me more of goth and alternative type bands like The Bolshoi than Genesis. I can't help but think that Fish, with his performance élan made the band. Fish's replacement Steve Hogarth said that they should have changed the band's name - I agree, but the result would have still been mediocre unless the music kept pushing boundaries and became edgey. I hope never to think of my art or music as being like any other artist or artists. Comparison itself is an insult - it implies a lack of creativity.

I became aware of the power of image. All artists change over time and it's difficult find consistency. With Fall in Green we have a great image and instant and clear personality of gothic, romantic, fairytale. My solo music, by comaprison, has changed hugely and at times I feel very disconnected with the early computer-game synth music, yet I can see a progression too.

Before Cycles & Shadows I considered a change of artist name for the new 'classical' type personality change, yet I rememebered that The Love Symphony perhaps fitted that; but then there is The Spiral Staircase, which is certainly symphonic in scale, yet totally synthetic. I'm now thinking of my whole current back-catalogue in terms of a total artwork and want to unify the look and feeling of it all, and one way is to work on the cover art. Albums like The Flatspace Soundtrack have art that looks so very dated now, and much more like a budget computer game than the work of a solo musical artist let alone a musical master and artistic genius.

I must work on this.

I met Deb in the park at sunset, which was delightful. The autumn leaves made me think of making Jabberwock monsters from them. I must now focus and summon creative energies.