Applied the plaster layer, or one plaster layer, to my fireplace yesterday, a horrible experience of being micro-managed by my mother at every step. The result if awful, but was the best I could do in the circumstances of having no control over or responsibility for this job.
I also recorded new vocals for the track Falling, a poem from The Burning Circus about appreciating a climb only when falling. The earlier vocals were rather bold and Shakespearean in tone, but I thought a more resigned and quiet tone would work better. I hope now that this is the end to the music tweaks. I mastered and broke up the tracks into invidividual wav files too.
Jobs to do: Album artwork, for this, and other albums. I also need videos for this and ideally The Dusty Mirror, and perhaps for some older albums like The Spiral Staircase. I generally dislike making videos and get little in return. I wonder if making music videos is worth it... perhaps in 10 or 20 years I'll find myself updating my current videos; the job is endless, a symptom of my need to make things ideal and perfect. I've not made any Spiral Staircase videos though, the only one was the wonderful 45-minute one made by dear Sue for my Electric Picture House Performance. One might be useful for the sake of completeness.
I've refined the outline of a future concept album, it has a theme of struggle. I feel that I'd really want to do that and forget the videos, but I at least need album artwork for Apocalypse. The jobs seem frenetic and never ending and the result of this is a lack of energy, the anxious energy cancels out and leaves me unfocused and without the desire to do anything. I feel that the last two weeks have been for nothing; yet, I can see that this isn't the case. I'm reminded again of the Buddhist wisdom that a bucket is filled drip by drip. It's not important how much is done in a day, all that is needed is one tiny step in the right direction.
One other thing I did yesterday was set up and announce a Flatspace II sale for its 15-year anniversary on October 24th. I totted up the all-time sales of Flatspace II and Flatspace IIk; they have sold 729 copies. If they had sold 7000 or 70,000 my life would have vastly changed. Would I have become an artist? Still, 700 was/is a good result, no other game has sold as much as 70. It was/is a taste of what a hit feels and behaves like. 21st Century Surrealism has sold 105 copies so far, so this is my next most popular creation, and it took off in a similar way.
I must stop past reflections and get back to work. My best work lies in the future. There is a lot to do so I must motivate myself with clear goals, and remind myself that time, health, abilities, are limited.
