Singing practice this morning, including to some older songs. I was struck by a few things. First that every album before We Robot isn't sung as well as I can manage now. The Golden Age is close, but I can certainly improve on Secret Electric Sorcery and everything earlier. We Robot was the first CD I had pressed in years for good reason. This was a bit dispiriting, though I embarked on this journey exactly to learn, with the hope that I would improve as I have. The 4 years since The Dusty Mirror is a mere blip in the long expanse of life. Vocal music has been my primary artistic focus for all of that time, and must be thought of as an investment, like learning to paint.
Many of the earlier songs were at completely the wrong key or pitch range. My new recording of 'Incomplete Version Of The Writer' is 4 semitones higher than the old version. 'Norman Bates' sounds 5 or 6 semitones too low for me (ie. exactly the wrong pitch!). I can manage those notes (they're not that low!) but I wouldn't write a song in that range now. I remember that the climactic 'Norman Bates' in the chorus was almost too high before, now it's trivial to reach. I wonder if I'll need to (or should...) pitch it up, when I eventually re-record it.
Lower notes just don't sound as good, and I wondered if this is due to my physical build rather than my voice. I wonder how much the bulk of singers like Pavarotti influence the sound. I wonder how big Scott Walker's chest was, or other famous baritones. There are slight singers with famous voices, like Karen Carpenter, but she sang gently and relaxed at all times. Even for choruses of the more impassioned Carpenter's songs, she remained sleepy in her tone. The also slight Freddie Mercury was a natural baritone, apparently, but I don't think he ever used that range.
This made me think of the physics of sound, that sound reflection must come from a heavy, dense surface. I wonder if a singing jacket could be made, something like a 'body warmer' with a dense wall, like a bullet-proof-vest. This might change the timbre of lower notes.
Self-judgements are important if one is to improve in any skill. I must detect weaknesses and form a plan to fix them, and repeat this process constantly. It's difficult to be objective. Feedback from others can't always help. Even if they were sincere and honest in their assessments, they may be less qualified than you to identify flaws, or not understand the direction of change in the different metrics of a skill; what's been done, what needs to continue, what needs to stop. Comparison with your former self is one aspect, and comparison with a goal or target, but each voice is unique and so a target can be difficult to find.
As I've said many times, the performance and production skills on the new album are good, on par or better than We Robot, so I must continue, and at some point apply these skills to older work. Ultimately, the music I've written so far is an important artistic expression, irrespective of any self-perceived flaws (or self-perceived brilliance!). I've recorded more songs than Salvador Dali or Vermeer. I've painted more than Freddie Mercury or Kate Bush. I feel I'm better than ever in many skills, and I feel I am improving.
Onwards we march, stoic and brave, rolling our Sisyphean rock, towards the great sun.
