Have spent today creating example sound effects for the different Bolt-on Effects/Plug-in packs for SFXEngine. These were to be used exclusively as free bonus content for customers, though I am aware that there are, so far, no customers of these packs except for legacy owners of the full $100 version, they get all of these.
It's been long and tiring work that has taken until 9:30pm. I've created 100 new sound effects for the 10 packs, each using the core engines plus the selected pack's engines. I'll make these free somehow, I think that the IndieSFX itch.io channel, plus a YouTube video might be an appropriate showcase for these, as well as giving them to the customers as the intended bonus.
A lot of the work I do seems hard and soul destroying, and today was no exception. I seem to spend my life doing pointless or ignored tasks with little aim, except that, of course, I remind myself that everything I make is for other people. My games, my music, my art; and, I remind myself again that some of it is indeed seen and experienced by others every day, and must be appreciated by at least some people. By the same token, most of the art or other things I create are not seen by anyone except myself. But, isn't this the case for everyone? We can't know the impact of our actions on the world, and artist is one of the most personally expressive, and uniquely contributive jobs.
I'm feeling particular ignored, isolated, obscure, and useless today. I reflected that my life has always been a struggle and scrape, endless work for bare scraps or the hope of scraps. Each year and each month I hope for something better, and each year and month is a struggle. Perhaps it will always be so, perhaps it will not. Perhaps I will have a 'hit' one day, perhaps not. I will, however, whether I experience great success or not, keep striving, keep trying, keep working, keep doing, keep rolling my Sisyphean rock, keep defying the gods and cruel world, and keep battling fate.
Two interesting thoughts:
First. Deborah informs me that the nervous system of the octopus evolved in two halves separately; the head and eyes part, and the stomach part. These two systems later merged into one brain. I would guess that the same occurred in humans (perhaps this occurred in the common ancestor of octopuses and humans). The brain and gut are separate nervous systems, and are often conflicted or have differing personalities and viewpoints. The gut consciousness is probably the result of much of the social, animal feelings which are out of balance with the civilised world, which known to and better engaged with the brain.
Second. I'm still thinking about the Higgs Field. I wonder if, rather than matter and mass spontaneously forming from it, that there is more of a communicative, symbiotic system in effect between the two; that the two systems of seen and unseen matter are in a subtle flux of communication; a dynamic relationship. Thus in inter-galactic space, where dark matter does not exist, light matter does not, and perhaps cannot, either.
