Sigh! What a hard year it has been. So often I feel that everything I do is unnoticed, unrewarded, and pointless. Yet, this has been how just about every day has felt for 30 years, and clearly some things have made a difference. Perhaps every act, however tiny, makes a difference. We can never really know what will become important and what not. Perhaps everything is just as important, as even trivial things can be necessary steps to important things.
If I were instantly rich, or even able to instantly live without the constant worry about money, I'd live most of my life in the same way, but perhaps not make any more sound effects or sell my software. I may give it away, I may just use it, but this I do only to scrape by. The art; painting, music, writing, I would still do as now.
Today I planed the wood for the two new picture frames, then continued work on the new/future sound effect packs. These are a lot of work because all of the samples used must be recorded by myself from scratch, so I'm having to duplicate many of the sounds. Some of these are already useful.
I many finish a first draft of these packs tomorrow. Then I'll pause the whole thing. My aim was only to plan what to release and how, and this is more than complete. The next step will be the major SFXEngine upgrade, but I must complete the painting jobs and music too. I'm well aware that, should I stop now and die, no soul would notice; yet I'm also aware that many people use my 20 years of sound effects, and many, tens of thousands of people at least, have heard them. Many will use and hear these new sounds in future, even if this achievement is the casual one of the jobbing designer.
We see and use hundreds of things daily, unaware of the people who made these things, yet without those people they would not exist. Does one need acclaim? Not really, sad though it can be to have none. This is the nature of civilisation.
Onwards we roll the rock, towards the warm horizon.
