Have converted and uploaded the Trax video today, and finished an edit of The Enigma of the Two Heads for the Magicland Mermaid tune, but I'm not very happy with it so won't release it. I've had a sharply paintful migraine today for many hours, at my left temple, and it's sapped my strength today.
I've also released The Intangible Man on Smashwords, so on eBook across several platforms. I think I'll try this rather than make it exclusive to Kindle. It will take a week or few days to appear anywhere. I plan on releasing the print version next Friday. I expect that, like The Burning Circus, a book of which I'm pleased with and proud of, nobody will notice. This is the story of all of the art I make, but I continue to do my best to make what I do as good as I can, and to analyse and improve. I am reminded that my parents trained me to avoid and ignore the world as they ignored me.
I'm unsure what to do next. I'm pleased with the recent few videos, and wonder if I should do more for older, existing tracks like Starflight, or Pandora. These are fine tunes, but I wonder what is the motivation for making these old videos? Essentially it is to gain experience of creating new videos. The newer albums, Burn of God etc. would probably benefit from new videos purely to promote the music.
I feel very tired today, like being trapped in a library of books on the floor and in the wrong order, faced with an insurmountable Sisyphean task. I feel like a boxer at the end of a fight, that the world is an eternal match to be played until death by exhaustion. I could make new videos and sort out any current ones for weeks or months for no reason except my satisfaction.
But, isn't that the way with art anyway? The videos don't particularly feel expressive or particularly personally satisfying, but perhaps they can be, and some so indeed show off new things, things only my software and thus self can do. Also, anything made, shown and done is a contribution to the universe. The boxer who punches the very floor of the ring is doing something; alive, defiant.
At some point I must get back to music and completing the albums in progress. That would feel more like art.
Perhaps the logical course is set a reasonable limit of older videos, complete those, then move on.
