I slept well. I feel relaxed, having calmed down more each day for the past five or so. I'm unhappy with everything I'm doing. Is this the price of relaxation? I often feel like this on these slow days.
Incorporating vocals still causes me problems. I've recorded the Nick Drake vocals today, I want a sound like Scott Walker's reverberative tones on albums like Scott 3. I need to be bigger, I need a body 1.25 times bigger. How slow growth is. Learning to play the piano and the guitar to a basic level of expression and beauty were easy, but singing involves the physical transformation of one's entire being.
I've also started work on a new guide track for The Problem of Suicide. This is certainly a better way to make high quality work but it is a lot slower and will sound less spontaneous (although that very spontaneity is why things can sound rough - such production techniques are a gamble).
The Nick Drake song itself sounds good. The album so far is about 23 minutes now.
I'm starting to feel lost artistically. Should I revert back to visual art somehow? Is music satisfying as painting, even in a vacuum? I imagine spirit guides, angel figures behind and around me, musicians who are my inspiration and sources of encouragement. Progress must be made. Life is short, I must have something to show for each day. Creative action, the true essence of art, is the mastery of impatient ambition vs. patience.
