A generally sleepless night of anxiety and Dalinian anginas. The morning consisted of a few hours work on the Remembrance Service sequence. The initial tune is fine but I want to extend the song and add some sort of break or change of tone. I'm now working in images, like a music graphic-novel.
I worked for a few hours. Then set off on the three mile walk to Nantwich to take down the Neorenaissance exhibition. My mother joined me which was a great help as the removal process is very difficult for one person, and she helped transport some equipment (I had 4 bags and a backpack, of wrapping and tools). Deborah was to join later after a long day of work herself, with more equipment, help, and essential transport.
The official deinstallation of the exhibition was scheduled for next Tuesday, but I didn't know the time until last week, which then turned out to be an impractical 9am, with their aim to be removing the exhibition and setting up the next before 10:30, which struck me as hideously optimistic. Each of the 30 or so paintings need wrapping, four boxing in specific crates, and there are books, sculptures etc.
I requested an earlier take-down time and, thankfully, mercifully, was permitted to do this today, strictly from 3pm to 5:30. Volunteer X, who I had not met, was on duty to greet and assist, though he did not assist.
I arrived. X said "We've just been talking about you."
"Good things, I hope?", I joked.
"Wellll...." he said.
What does this mean? This immediately made me dislike X.
Then: "The only feedback we've had is that people like the poems."
I dislike X more. Then: "I like the frames." Again more casual insults; followed by "I can't do any work that involves bending, lifting, pushing, or pulling". In practice his assistance was talking while watching us work. Perhaps I am harsh about his disability. Whether a physical feebleness or laziness, both are unfortunate burdens.
Well, I remain still grateful for the chance to dismantle early, which took two and half hours with the essential help. In contrast to today's experience (and indeed, X's moans at the poor way things are apparently run), my experiences with Nantwich Museum have been very good; well organised, good and timely at communicating, flexible, supportive, and everything else needed to stage a good exhibition, and I would love and can only hope to work with them again in future.
For me, Neorenaissance was a continuation from the 21st Century Surrealism exhibition, and I'm sure would have been more popular had Covid not intervened. Of my 17 solo exhibitions, this involved the most people, and was, despite Covid one of the most seen. It's the first exhibition to have produced a book, and I hope that the creative expression benefitted from the many voices. I could repeat this, involving more poets, different media, but it already feels old, done, lacking focus. Some of the Cubby Hole exhibitions, like ESAUM, or The Seventh Circle, had an element of fun and newness, more of a thematic direction, and also involved other people.
I've been painting for 15 years or so, but this still feels very like a tiny, minuscule, beginning. Barely the start of an experiment. I want everything from now on to be different, better, bigger, but all art is a bold step into the desert with a happy song, and no water. I thought today that, for an artist, the first 40 years are the difficult ones. I have 25 difficult years to go, and at times I feel somewhat weak myself. May the gods, the fates, the muses, grant me 50 more years.
