Wednesday, August 31, 2022

Gas, Prometheus Skips, Migraines

Rather than subsidise gas, the energy crisis is a golden opportunity for the government to provide grants for windmills and solar panels for every business and household and create a truly sustainable economy.

I doubt this will happen.

I completed most of The Bird in Borrowed Feathers yesterday before dashing off to see Deb. I feel exhausted today. In the early hours I lay awake, my mind racing with ideas of how to improve Prometheus again, though it is functional as it is, and I have a million other jobs. In the morning I updated my website with details of the Ty Pawb exhibition, and made a new Fall in Green video live. My mind remains racing strangely and I have trouble focusing on one thing.

I decided to add a new Prometheus feature, or rather upgrade an old one, by making the cursor skips, which occur in ticks, based on the prime factors of the ticks-per-beat. Up until now you could select a skip as a fraction of a beat (eg. 1/4th) but some fractions are not whole (like 1/7th of the default 48 ticks). You can choose any number of ticks-per-beat, this is the timing resolution of the song (in practice, however, I stick with 48, I can't recall any song that doesn't). Following today's upgrade, when setting this, all of the integral factors of this are calculated and these become the skip options; and you can increase the skip by one tick too, making skips larger than one beat possible for the first time.

I have more to do, so much. The music feels barely started, yet I've worked hour after hour, day after day on this for over three weeks. Barely half of the album is complete and only the first track actually ready (the others need vocals, if nothing else). I have upgraded Prometheus a lot, and the new sample library and new ways of using the MODX and MIDI have caused these delays, but improved the quality too.

Now I feel dizzy, shaky, perniciously anxious. I keep seeing flashing lights, and earlier the imposition of this visual migraine was too strong for me to work. I must pause, though must do so briefly. For three weeks, this music has been my only artistic output. I need more, want more, but the music must get done. The Salomé iron is hot.

Tuesday, August 30, 2022

The Planet's Oracle, Truth Seeker

Two full days working on the Salomé music, it seems that each track takes about three very full days to complete, and no vocals have been added yet. I'm eager to get this over with, but, what must be done must be done.

I spent yesterday refining The Planet's Oracle, building the dark intro pianos and enhancing the mood. There were only relatively small changes, but as in writing or any art, these last tweaks take an awful long time. The track starts with strange clicks, I want to paint a 'Victorian' image, wooden, pacing, the nervous energy of Nietzsche. Then there's a dramatic series of knocks, like fate knocking on the door (these are bangs on the shed outside, I hid the sound recorder inside and banged on the door to time). A final knock booms out and reverses into the piano intro. I spent quite some time on the basic white-noise based boomy/thundery percussion sounds (now called Deep Oracle). Then we enter a room, furious writing to the rhythm of the main theme. Then some guitar solos, one for the frantic chords at the start, and another for the climax which breaks up the mechanical perfection of the sequencer.

This was largely complete, well up to the next step, by lunch. I then worked on Truth Seeker, which was in a draft stage. It needed a solo in the middle. Last time I worked on it I recorded a guitar part for the start on my eternally ugly-sounding Yamaha 700 guitar. This sounded tinny, like an acoustic/electric cross (of course, it is) it didn't work. I started with the solo, which jumps back to the pounding pianos of the intro, and added a wailing organ solo; this was in part inspired by recent listens to Time Of The Season by The Zombies. Despite the jazzy overtones, this seemed to resonate with the church element, the church Salomé fled. This then breaks open to 'outdoors' or a crowd, this is actually a recording of the chatter from the interval during the live performance of Salomé, so it's appropriate on many levels.

I remembered that the title is 'Truth Seeker in a Madding Crowd', and this is the crowd. We have the church, memories of distant Russia, and the busy streets of Zurich, or wherever in Switzerland we are. I played an eerie melody on the MODX using an instrument called Santur which sounded like an exotic string instrument, a zither or Vulcan guitar.

This morning I went back to the intro. Those two parts; distant Russia, memories of the church, break into the crowd. All of this has echoes of the Herr Kasperle music and the German shop. I added a new organ solo for the start, an organ version of the (now deleted) guitar part, an echo of the main 'Truth Seeker' melody. I then recorded 16 layers of Russian-style chanting to use for the church, and mocked up a bell sound by taking two bells and making them loop in each ear, a distant and sonically interesting sound.

Then I made a couple more changes to Prometheus itself, little things, making it more efficient in the modulator auto-name section.

I then heard that my painting 'Love and Wifi' has been selected for the Ty Pawb open in Wrexham. They eccentrically informed me in English and Welsh, perhaps the result of a mix of 'woke' political-correctness and right-wing nationalism, disparate elements which seem to equate to the zeitgeist. I need to frame this, but I have time.

Then I went to work on The Bird in Borrowed Feathers and made a basic backing of sweeping strings, many echoes of Beethoven's 6th and Peer Gynt; perhaps, I thought, this is too clichéd, so I decided to try a synthetic flute that, at times, pretends to be a Theremin (but the bird-like melodies and themes are really flute-like and don't lend themselves to gentle bends).

Very busy, very energetic, very stressful days.

I've been paid by the Lyceum after over 40 days of waiting; anything to do with arts here feels like it goes to the bottom of the pile. I've had my first meagre Steam royalties in months. Money is going to be tight for months, I've no idea where the next thing will come from. I must focus on this music and make it brilliant.

Sunday, August 28, 2022

Fan Cabinet

A delightful trip with Deb in the morning to B&Q for some wood for a new cabinet to cover the extractor fan in the kitchen. There were hardly any hinges, an empty wall of no stock. We went to Wickes then, which was well stocked, though B&Q generally has a larger range. I then spent all day making this cabinet, which needs to fit inside an alcove.

The fan opens to the air, and the plastic shutters on the outside have long since broken, their tiny springs rusted away. This is already the second fan, the first had the same problem. This makes the window very cold in winter, so this box can be used to close it off at will. It will open inwards, and have visible hinges on the outside, in 'L' configuration when closed and doubling over when open (this gives the tightest seal when closed), so I needed to work out the curve for the deep doors so that the inside edge has clearance. I've also embedded some magnets in the wood to form a catch. The two doors are gluing overnight. Drilling the wall and fitting the hinges is the hardest part. The space is cramped. I'll mark and drill the wall, then mark and drill the cabinet, all before removing everything before painting.

Deb has heard the first drafts of the new music and thinks it's a leap above what has come before, and I'm happier too, but there are still lots of work and tracks to go.

In Prometheus I've had yet another feature idea, making Set Parameter events for MIDI specific events, the Sustain Pedal, and other controllers (like the MODX Super-Knob, controller 95 by default). These will give me far more control over these than I have with Sekaiju, which is generally limited to editing recordings rather than crafting new music from scratch.

Saturday, August 27, 2022

Genie Battle Dream, Set Parameter Programming, and More

You can't move forward, make progress in making something better on your own, progress is moving towards something new, something else, so that new, else, is vital. The best moments of creativity come from clashes of opposites, times of transition, because of this. No change means no progress. Information is change, to stay the same is to inform nothing, to do nothing.

Last night I dreamed of watching battles, as though in a computer game, watching a soldier or lone man finding and dispatching various enemies. I took control of him, and found myself faced by a giant blue Genie, as big as a house. He was on a road, angry like a raging bull, hurling rocks and flaming boulders at me, spewing fire and thunder. I ran backwards in panic. I fired some shots from the rifle I had, then threw the gun at him, then a knife. These had no effect. I then ran to the right and leap on his back, grabbing blue fronds, tentacle-like hair-like objects. I pulled and began to tame him and he changed from blue to white, a furry dragon like Falkor from The Neverending Story. We flew together, and he became a woman.

I think this is all about music, my recent challenges and battles coming to a happy end.

I decided to pause on the music a little and work on music programming. I've rarely used MIDI in Prometheus, usually as an import as guide track to a piano track I've recorded externally. Now, with the MODX, and more timbre options, I feel that more control would be useful. My MIDI exporter/importer always had the option of attaching a Set Parameter event to notes to map the Velocity (volume) of the MIDI notes, but the plethora of those events, one per note, are difficult to edit, as they can be in any MIDI editor. Even in the excellent Sekaiju it's a matter of typing each velocity by hand.

Today I've added a slew of commands to mass process selections of these events. The most interesting is the ability to apply the current modulator (my modulators are short wav files, I find this to be the most flexible solution) to the values, so everything from gentle ramping up/down across a series of notes, to much more complex modulations like this, are now easy:

All processing happens on a selection, and the modulator can be reset at the start of the song, the start of the selection, or span the exact range from first to last event. This was quite complex to work out as the song itself can vary in speed, those events can look regular, but the tempo itself might be being modulated. Well, it seems to be working. This should allow, for the first time, a useful MIDI export, rather than the simplistic guides for external editing my exports used to be.

In other news, my father is now home from the hospital after nearly a week of tests and monitoring; though many of the tests didn't take place. Mum asserts that he became far worse in hospital than at home.

My brother has also been arrested, again, for his zealotistic eco-protesting. As far as I am aware, arrest is and remains one of his primary goals. I remain sceptical that such actions help the environment, though the biosphere certainly needs helping.

Friday, August 26, 2022

The 10%

Thought of a better way to do Entwined in the night, starts with a rolling flow of the piano, gentle steps, like the two minds, remembering that it's two minds talking, romancing. So I got up early and recorded new piano parts, ready to cast aside much of yesterday's sequences. A lot in art is creating a new experiment with great labour, only to throw away 90% of it, but the 10% is usually worth the effort.

I listened to bits of Bjork's utopia. Melodically inspiring in its complexity, but the random 90s-style drum loops were annoying, the same sub-bassy booms and crackles appear in every song sooner or later for no real reason, not even interest, always getting in the way of the natural mood. I'm amazed that so many people worked on the album, it sounds simplistic, if anything.

Thursday, August 25, 2022

Entwined Work

A really full day working on Entwined in Infinity. I decided to remove the pianos completely and sequence everything as a virtual orchestra, which creates complex challenges. The workload for even this short sequence is substantial, this will take a lot of crafting.

I also touched upon The Planet's Oracle, this is much more complete; it is simpler, most of the track is fairly monotone piano. One musical change I've made is to cycle the final chord sequence twice and use the last D-minor as the first chord of the second cycle, 15 patterns vs. 16. It sounded too boring to have two Ds in a row.

I've also been programming a bit more of Prometheus, unexpectedly. I thought it would be nice to export a MIDI sequence to make the piano play it, but the MIDI exporter exports in simple beats and measures, so if I vary the tempo in complex ways (or at all) the sequence doesn't vary (I'm not even sure if tempo can be modulated in real time in a MIDI sequence, but ho, my tempo modulations are too complex for that anyway), so I programmed a new MIDI exporter that uses the sample-location for each instrument in the final render. I'm using MIDI more and more, so this will probably be useful. It would allow me, for example, to craft a section in Prometheus and make the MODX (or the P105, or DX, or Microkorg) play it back for recording and inclusion.

Entwined in Infinity Starts, Time, Fate and Language, Prometheus 2.89

A somewhat dreadful and slow day yesterday compared to the full Tuesday. A night of stomach pain meant no sleep until 6am, then waking late.

I read a lot of Time, Fate, and Language in the night, and I think this affected my mood in the day; it's a brilliant but dangerous book. Reading it seemed to make to clear to me, somewhat ironically, the inevitability of David Foster Wallace's suicide, my soul somewhat tainted with a strange analytical darkness. It seemed that Taylor's original essay was more of a challenge than a belief, that he knew its flaws and presented it to the world like a proud puzzle-master. Foster Wallace brilliantly exposes the flaws, at least one of the problems with the Taylor essay, without proving an end to fatalism.

David Foster Wallace is a man who will happily use ten words when one will suffice, but the essence of his argument appears to be that there are differences in truth/false evaluations depending on whether these occur in the past, present, or future, and that evaluations are invalid when they cross tenses; perhaps that what happens today can say nothing about yesterday's possibilities - but I am extending things with that statement. Taylor assumed validity across all tenses, hiding this in weasely words; reasonable for a universal view, but a universal view is impossible without omniscience - an omniscient universal view would necessarily be fatalistic, but the real world is a different matter.

One certainty about the real world is that knowledge is limited, even all agents in the universe connected can't know everything, and each agent is even worse off as it takes time to convey information through this network. It's amazing that we can infer anything from our tiny view. Not so much that I know that I know nothing as I know that I can't know everything, and know that nothing can. All agents in the universe are united by ignorance.

I sketched out the structure of Entwined in Infinity, mostly marking the basic parts in the MIDI sequence, and went for a walk to town, my first in months. Then I added a feature to Prometheus to merge events which are close, sort of a temporal 'median' filter. This is useful mainly to chop down bunches of MIDI notes, less useful musically (I could program it to make the remaining median note an average pitch of those it replaced, would that be useful?).

Next door's children harassed and annoyed me with five ball-over-fence requests in 40 minutes, I was completely unable to work with such interruptions.

I've added a few minor changes to Prometheus, so now it's updated to 2.89. I must get this music done as quickly as possible.

Tempus fugit. Carpe diem.

Tuesday, August 23, 2022

Truth Seeker

A non-stop day working on Truth Seeker In A Madding Crowd, lots of new melodies in the strings here, and a few guitar parts which may or may not be used. Great progress but a long way to go.

My father remains in hospital for a third night for tests following his stroke.

Monday, August 22, 2022

Steady Work

A steady day of work on the music yesterday, recording the piano performances and putting them into Prometheus for lots of the tracks, starting the production process. If I merely wanted solo piano works, as in the live performances, I could call it pretty much finished, apart from the vocals, but I'm adding a lot more now and need to work out the structure and points for extension.

I've also started the dance remix of Dream Sequence and have got down the key tracks and balancing. I was struck by the coincidence that I was thinking of jazz when playing it for the first time, a jazzy electric piano, and when recording the performance thinking of Miles Davis, as I'd just been reading about and listening to the first parts of Kind of Blue. The dance influence came from Robert Miles, being a restful piano track, like my track Challenger, but yesterday read that Miles Davis was a big influence on Robert Miles, indeed the source for his name.

Life is hard this year. It's almost like Vermeer's Year of Disaster, Deb and I hit with unexpected difficulties or tragedies. Art is more important than ever. I've spent most of it working on music, painting taking a back seat, limited to completing a few works in development and the new ideas left aside. I must work harder, make the best of each day, of each moment and grain of health.

Sunday, August 21, 2022

Game Remastering

I so wish I had the money and time to update and release my PC game back catalogue: Gunstorm, Gunstorm II, Outliner, Firefly, Breakout Velocity and Fallout, Trax, Martian Rover Patrol, and Arcangel. These old games aren't available anywhere at the moment and need a few weeks work each to get them working on a modern PC, and I really need to buy (well, rent) a Code Signing Certificate for them AND my extant games like Flatspace IIk. All of these have artistic merit but are barely commercially viable. Each would, I expect, make back the $100 fee for submitting to Steam, but perhaps only just and over several years. I must aim for success elsewhere and release these in some future year.

Saturday, August 20, 2022

Lou Salome Remembers, More Fate

A slow morning but lots of Salomé music work after that, finalising the production for the first track; Lou Salome Remembers (there is no accent on the e for the official title by the way, I'm unsure if the PRS accepts accented letters).

The morning was largely spent trying to work on the intro. I wanted to start with a music box which inspires the piano to start, as though Lou herself was now old and was reminded of a melody from her past. It didn't work at first, partly because my music box samples (from three different boxes!) weren't adequate, so in the afternoon I took apart my best music box and sampled it: winding, the ticking mechanism, and each tine of its tiny voice. Some of the tines were very dull and odd, and none were really perfect and singing, but it is this charm that makes the music box unique, so I used about eight sounds overall to build a multi-sampled instrument, and it sounded very good. I added a very slight sine wave to these too, to extend and tune them a bit.

Then, I added some ambient chatter from the interval during the live Salomé performance, making this dark and low, like distant doctors or residents in some home where the aged Salomé is now resting. The music box slows to a stop, and a piano plays, a few strokes of the first key, then the melody proper. I've smoothed out the strings and added some brass, percussion (a characteristic sound of mine which is based on filtered white noise and is called SuperDeep).

At first the backing all simply played chords and tribute to the piano, which will, for these tunes, always be the principle instrument, but I felt I had to include more - these poor strings and poor flutes! Aching to play a nice melody and romance with the piano lead. The flute gets the most interesting parts, then the higher strings, with the poor bass and brass playing simple 'Hollywood' bits; the main chord and occasional triad.

As I've written and played all of the music for solo piano, it might be hard to break out of this when recording these 'definitive' versions... hard meaning whether I really want too. Well, I'm pleased that I've played these live a few times first. If I played live again, I may try to emulate these new recordings, or I'm free not to, so the choices of 'complexity' based on ability to play them live is not an issue this time.

After this, I recorded the basic piano parts for The Planet's Oracle, and edited the piano for Dream Sequence, which is dark, gentle, moody, bluesy even; I was thinking Miles Davis as I played, and Robert Miles when I composed (I will produce a trance/dance remix).

In between all of this I've started to worry about money and the future, something of a silly worry, as we are all bound by fate. All the work I do for nothing, or for hope, but such is life. I remember my companion Beethoven, and his struggles resonate with me eternally.

In other news, I've thought again about fate and fatalism. I've probably written this countless times, but now I feel that when anything occurs that we later, due to ego, attach our will to the event and it is by this mechanism that we experience 'free will', not a 'choice' or action before an event, but a proud claiming that we made the choice after it. My next question is about ambition, plans. These are more long-term 'choices', how can we steer fate towards a more distant destiny in this way, if everything is inevitable? Do we merely anticipate what is coming?

Friday, August 19, 2022

Sleep Patterns, Salome Music

A busy, happy and full day. I've slept for most of the night for the first time in what feels like weeks, falling into a pattern of waking at 2am, staying awake until 6am. Those times can be productive, sometimes I think and work in these early hours, but it can leave the (usually late) mornings feeling tired and shooting away.

But last night I slept and woke early, perhaps due to a slight reduction in temperature, at last! - and perhaps the reading of Time, Fate, and Language, and considering the fatalism problem, as detailed in my previous post.

I'm making steady progress on the music. I'm unsure if the new strings, however numerous are a vast leap above mine, but some are, so I'll limit my use to simply one new set of strings for the whole album, and not worry about fine details yet. I finalised the Prometheus programming and added chords to the Xenex theme sheet music, for Peter's piano lesson later:

Then worked on the strings and some arrangement for Lou Salome Remembers. Peter arrived at 2pm and I played him the music, he said that it reminded him of Pirates of the Caribbean - the horror! - but perhaps any bombastic waltz melody will sound like this. I think I'll build up the melody from quiet piano to a big orchestral; sound, then down again, like a dream being spun into a joyous rainbow, then collapsing to peace again.

After this I got back to editing the piano recordings of some of the other tracks; the booming The Planet's Oracle, which I'll probably break into small sections and record those, making a sort of hybrid (perhaps like Sparks did in Lil' Beethoven). This evening I've been finalising the piano for Give Me Your Pain, which was inspired by the dramatic intro to At The Harbour by Renaissance, which is the dramatic finale to La Cathédrale Engloutie by Debussey.

Part of me is unsure if I should now pause the music and work on painting in these last few weeks. So much to do! I really wanted, ached to complete some new great paintings, but ultimately all I've done this year is finish a few old ideas and left all of the new and wonderful concepts and great artworks to do nothing but languish in the planning stages. My portrait of Rene Descartes must wait. My images of black holes at the end of the universe must wait. My portrait of Prospero with Miranda must wait. Everything must wait while the light and my eyes decay. Oh for more time and resources!

Changing The Past

I've been reading more about the philosophy of fatalism, in particular our ability, or lack of ability, to change the future, compared with our certain lack of control over the past. This seemed wrong to me, that it is possible (just as possible, or just as impossible) to change the past.

Yesterday I had soup for lunch and porridge for breakfast. This is a certain fact that occurred, but, what if I told the world that I had soup for breakfast and porridge for lunch. People could examine the contents of my kitchen and find empty soup cans and conclude that I had soup, but could not prove when. I did not tell anyone about my meals in the day, or document these events. There are no cameras. My body may absorb foods at different rates, so perhaps a skilled doctor could calculate that I had soup at 12pm rather than 9am and vice versa for porridge, but I think that this is extremely unlikely given the complex nature of biology. I expect that those results would be inconclusive.

We are close to a situation where the only evidence of what occurred yesterday is my memory and testimony, and, that if my memory were flawed, and my testimony stated that I had soup in the morning and porridge for lunch, then all of the evidence would indicate that that was the case, and that therefore the past would be changed.

Now, you might say that evidence, belief, testimony, or likelihood is one thing, but that in the universe itself there is a fundamental reality where I had porridge for breakfast and soup for lunch, irrespective of my memory, my belief, or the belief of others; but I attest that this is not the case. If the impact on the universe is identical in both cases (soup for breakfast, soup for lunch) then both events are identical, thus is is possible to change the order of my meals yesterday, and so change the past. If one reality or another cannot be distinguished between, then both are equally as likely.

For this we must discount physical changes to the world and universe, for example the heat expended when heating the soup in the afternoon or morning. This could be eliminated by having cold soup. Perhaps there are gas records in the gas company which could show when I had soup. If you ignore those for the moment, assuming I used a small gas cylinder, then perhaps the time of my having soup could be ascertained by a gentle warmness at a certain hour of the day versus another hour - but this warmness would decay or be affected by the 'noise' or other events, the sun in the afternoon, other meals, or various other things which seek to destroy the information about yesterday. This same principle of decay of knowledge would apply to gas company records, perhaps not in a few days but in a few years or decades the records may be lost or distorted. Over time, it would become more and more difficult to establish whether I had soup in the morning or for lunch, and in the universe as a whole the differences in effect between the two occurrences would become increasingly small as to be irrelevant; and again, the 'actual' order of meals becomes a moot point, both orders of meals would be increasingly likely to be true, as true as each other.

Uncertainty of truth regarding quantum-level events is well known, and it is conceivable to design an experiment involving quantum entanglement to prove that changing the past is possible in these extraordinary and sub-microscopic environments, but switching meals is no quantum event but one on a large scale. What about changing the past for even bigger events?

What if we changed the past now, and stated that Abraham Lincoln was not assassinated by John Wilkes Booth, but lived a long life and died of natural causes. This is more difficult to change because many more people know about Abraham Lincoln than my meals of yesterday. To change the past in this case, at very least, would involve changing every document about Abraham Lincoln, and changing the mind of everyone who knows about his assassination. Being such a distant event in time, the physical evidence may be easier to change; his Earthly remains, if in good order, could be altered to look as though he had died of natural causes. The total effort is greater than the changing of my meal order. There is much more information about the assassination of Abraham Lincoln, spread across many agencies, and to change this event, more energy is needed to overcome these facts, this information, the combined web of accurate knowledge of the event.

Information decays over time so it seems that the more distant an event in the past, the easier it is to change. We can easily change, for example, what Julius Ceasar ate on his 9th birthday because almost no agent knows this, and any evidence about is probably destroyed. Events which are well documented and verified among many agents are, by the same token, more difficult to change. Each event has something like a 'coefficient of certainty' relative to these two factors; closeness in time, and clarity of documentation.

There is at least one agent which does know what Julius Ceasar ate on his 9th birthday: a beam of light is now flying from the Earth which bounced up from Julius Ceasar's meal and was, by chance, deflected into outer space. That beam, a little piece of a 'photograph' of Julius Ceasar's meal, is now flying away from the Earth at the speed of light. Alas, we can never intercept it, but perhaps distant eyes could. Perhaps distant planets and extraterrestrial eyes may now be gazing on our planet as it was millions of years ago, and if their telescopes were good enough, they may see dinosaurs, or even (eventually) Julius Ceasar's 9th birthday party, but this is massively unlikely. Due to decay, distortion, damage, their fuzzy images may show some indication of the primordial Earth's atmosphere, but the detail needed to see individual dinosaurs, or the vague glows of light from a meal, is probably impossible to achieve. That beam of light which hit Julius Ceasar's meal is but a fragment, and alone would probably contain no conclusive, or even useful evidence, and combining multiple light beams from multiple sources to build an image would require a huge amount of energy.

So, we could say that he ate soup, and thus change the past.

The ideas here throw up all sorts of questions and implications. For a start, events in the distant future are more difficult to predict than events in the near future, as weather forecasters know too well. This indicates some sort of relation between the future and past. It also makes the present, whatever that is, important, and the present must be a unique present for each observer and agent. It seems that there are two universes which operate at once; one of all time and equality, and a one of transient time which is certain only in the present and increasingly uncertain towards distant past and future. This is perhaps something for a future examination.

Another implication is that reality, in our temporal universe, is relative to the knowledge of it, that the coefficient of certainty defines how real something is, and that an event which is unknown does not exist. If the unexamined life is not worth living, then the unknown life does not exist, and the more known a life is, then the more it exists.

Thursday, August 18, 2022

Multisamples, Prometheus v2.88

Last night I managed draft recordings of all of the piano parts to Salomé except for (the easy) Empathy With Daisies. Many of these need a lot of time consuming editing to get them right.

This is a bigger project than usual partly because I now have, for the first time, a huge suite of new waveforms from the MODX, and it'll take a long time to experiment with these. I used to use just about one string sample for all of my music, amazing though it is, and I could probably happily use that forever, but now I've added at least 12 new string sections alone, all multisamples of course.

Today I recorded and imported the first piano track and started to add strings, but it seemed to take hours to enter the most basic arrangement, probing the string sounds. The multisample instruments need loading one sample at a time. This can be done once, then the instrument saved out, but this takes up a lot of space, and limits experimentation because I'll rely on that saved one rather than toy with different sample options. So, at 4pm I reprogrammed Prometheus to allow multiple selection of samples, so in one file dialog I can select all of the samples I want and they'll import and automatically attach to a sound. This massively speeds up the process for multisamples.

Don't use multisamples much, mainly for strings, partly because I don't have that many sounds that use them, and for aesthetic and efficiency reasons, but now I have lots, so this feature will really help.

Apart from that, very little was done today, but it is a start.

Wednesday, August 17, 2022

Salome Album

A good, steady, day yesterday. Recorded the first four piano sequences for the Salomé album, arguably the most difficult, which was my aim; Freud's Lecture, Sit With Your Ghost, Lou Salomé Remembers and The Bird in Borrowed Feathers. After these, I thought that I need to extend and expand the works, so added a new ending to Lou Salomé Remembers, and spend a frustrating few hours trying to smooth out the join. Ideally I'd simply replay it all, but some arts of this take were just right. I continually thought of Glenn Gould and his obsession for recording perfection.

I made lots of plans and was full of energy and inspiration in the evening, but this fizzled away into a night of insomnia and crippling stomach pain. Today was one of constant pain and tiredness, which makes summoning any energy difficult; the stomach is the seat of emotion. It is impossible to feel or guide any emotion with stomach pain - I'm reminded that before the 20th century, all psychological cures were focued on digestion and the bowels. So far today, the addition of annoying nags from others have ended music work. I've occupied myself my making a custom wooden stand to hold the masks for photography, and making wooden parts for a possible projector screen (design number two).

I expect that I'll manage a few more piano recordings later. I think most of the music will be piano based, with only a few extra instruments to augment this, perhaps a few strings. I'm toying with more epic guitar parts for some, but this may change the character too much; it depends how new and how long I'd like the recording to be vs. the live versions played so far. The only criteria is that it should be the best it can.

As time moves on, each of these projects take me longer and longer. Sometimes for good reason, the time does improve the work, but there is a balance. I must avoid becoming Leonardo da Vinci or Sibelius. Only finished and published work counts for anything.

Monday, August 15, 2022

Busy Monday

A full busy and exhausting day.

I cut the wood for the new wooden projector screen design, though I'm unsure if I'll do more on that for the time being. I need to know if the screen will sag, so the cloth is the next step; but I also don't know if and when we'll need a screen.

Ordered some female-to-female camera screws, which might be useful to fit the 'grabber' to a tripod to create a claw. I needed one to hold the Salomé masks for photography:

It worked wonderfully there, but not at all for the heavy Freud mask, which sagged frustratingly and risked damaging the mask. I spent 2 hours trying in vain to photograph the masks adequately.

I found and ordered a new 150W amplifier. The one I have worked really well in the library and was much easier to transport than the 100W beasts. I hope that the design and quality is unchanged since 2019, the price certainly has changed upwards. I also read over a script for possible opera, which was interesting, and worked out a new template for piano MIDI recordings in Sekaiju. I also started the Empathy with Daisies book, a basic template and cover; plus numerous little filing jobs and messages.

100subtexts magazine issue #1 came out today, featuring one of my old stories. The magazine seems an eclectic pile of any submission of any quality.

One other job I did was create a series of new modulators for Prometheus, each growing in factors of 1/12th, from zero to one - I had to reprogram Prometheus to calculate the interval exactly. This makes, when the depth is set to 12, a series of semitones, so when applied to a pitch value I can make arpeggios of any design (I can 'append' modulators to create a sequence). It was inspired by an effect called Spiralizer on the MODX - I can emulate this now.

Some of these jobs, like the mask photography, are almost distractions. I need to record the masks as artworks, but in the past many of my artworks were not photographed at all. My main job is to play and record the Salomé music, it was still a little too hot to do this today, these little jobs getting in the way. It feels like weeks since these 'normal' times. Everything has been so hectic with Salomé performances that it may take a few days to get back into the swing of things.

On we charge.

Sunday, August 14, 2022

Too Hot To Work

Too hot to work today. I updated the Fall in Green and my websites in the morning, adding the recent events. I worked out a new, wooden projector screen idea, I may make this too. I spent a few hours experimenting with vocal effects on the MODX, and traced 'We're Very Worried About John' to panel.

I wish I could spend more time on the computer or outside. My priority is the Salomé recordings, and to try to finish some paintings. I'll probably make a Salomé book too, maybe that can wait until the darker months.

Painting The Palace: A Card Game

I had this idea for a card game in the night, after watching a Poker-themed episode of Alfred Hitchcock Presents.

Painting The Palace is an easy to learn card game for any number of players related to Sevens and Crazy Eights.

1. Shuffle the cards and deal all cards to all players, ensuring the same number of cards per player and discarding any that remain; so for 5 players there would be 10 cards each and the last 2 discarded.
2. For more than 6 players, use two decks. For more than 12 use 3 decks etc.
3. The first player turns over any card, leaving it face up in the middle of the table to start the stack.
4. Players take turns to place a card on the stack, matching the colour of the top card (eg. a hearts or diamonds card on another hearts or diamonds card; or a spades or clubs card on another spades or clubs card), or the number (eg. a seven on a seven).
5. Royal cards; Jack, Queen, King; are always wild, and can be played at any time, and any card can be played on top of a royal card.
6. A player who cannot make a legal play is out.
7. The winner is the last player remaining if all other players are out, or the first player to place down their last card.

Saturday, August 13, 2022

Heat, Crewe Salomé, Projector Screen Prototype

Two hot and exhausting days. The days are too hot to do much work, too hot for the computer.

Yesterday was the Crewe Library performance of Salomé, a contrast in some ways to Congleton. it was in the day, at 4pm, in the (thankfully) air conditioned library. The daylight made the look very different, no lighting here, and the sole projections were very washed out compared to Congleton where the images played a large part of the show. Here's a photo by Claire Faulkner, one of the first to arrive:

Ann Watson starred as the knitter this time. People arrived late, such that at 3:30, no guests had arrived, and many missed the start, which was about 4:15pm. We had about 20 in the audience, about the same as Congleton, perhaps a few more as a few casual passers-by in the library stopped to look. Oddly, many left at the break, perhaps have the audience remaining for the open-mic and finale.

Helen Kay said that she didn't want to read a poem, which surprised me when she mentioned it as she was the first to sign up. She said that she didn't want to spoil our 'special day' - which I thought was an odd comment, as though the day was some reward or joy, rather than work. But perhaps I sound harsh, the day was happy, and it was nice to see Helen, a truly supportive friend, and I was most delighted to have several other friends turn up unexpectedly for the event.

Readers were: Ann Watson (fun, and the most moving poem of the day about working in a hospice), Carol Finch (always good quality poetry), Christopher Gilmore with Peter Balak (wonderful, as always), and Moragh Carter (egregious, as always).

Angus was really helpful, and the experience of performing was all good. Donations were £10, vs. around £150 for Congleton. The rewards were social and experiential (though this result does taint possible future events in the library). It was nice that Stefano could speak to a new audience about Lou Salomé too - I wonder if we will meet again? After the event we went for drinks with Stefano, Christopher Gilmore, and Peter Balak, such lovely people. Christopher Gilmore, though more frail now than when we first met, still has great physical and vocal presence. It's a shame that more friends couldn't join us.

Today I've ran around like crazy, making a prototype projector screen. I started by making 'moulds' from 12mm MDF:

That is for the central saltire, the other to hold a Bulldog clip:

Then I squished warm and fluid Polymorph plastic into them. Polymorph doesn't really stick to anything, not paint or even itself. It makes it good for moulds, but isn't very flexible... I've used wood for the moulds here because I knew it wouldn't stick. Polymorph is massively strong. I'm still unsure if it really is a useful material. Well, after a day of work, I completed the 5 parts:

What's needed next is a few rods and cloth to stretch between the corners. It's been really hard work making these in the intense heat, and of little utility (do we even need a projector screen?), but I wanted to experiment. I now think that an all wooden design would have been easier and more elegant. Every new idea needs many revisions.

It remains too hot to work. Too hot to have the computer on, too hot to record music or update websites.

My father's health has recovered a bit, and he's now able to descend stairs, but he remains ill. My future is as uncertain as ever, but I must strive each day to do my best. Vita brevis.

Thursday, August 11, 2022

Art Photography, Rehearsal

A super hot day today, 25 degrees in my room. The morning was spent photographing some completed painting so that I can enter them into competitions. I wish I'd completed more, I can paint a lot in one day now, but no! Salomé has stopped this.

I've 'scanned' (photographed in sections) Hand Of Destiny, Self Portrait As Tripod, and The Wheel Of Attraction And Repulsion. This takes hours, much of which is taking things out and putting them back. Here's a glimpse at the setup:

The camera points down on those rails. The results were as good as ever. Exposure time is about 3-4 seconds, with ISO 100, and an F-stop of 22. One change I made today was colouring the ends to make it easier to see exactly which end of which tube goes in which hole. My aim is that the same tube always fits in the same hole and that everything is kitted out identically each time. The camera shuttle glides relatively smoothly, but not perfectly, its steel rubs at times against the soft aluminium tubes, so if I use the same arrangement each time then, over time, things will hopefully 'sand' down to a smooth action. If the tubes were different each time, they would never evolve into a smooth action.

I'm careful to write down the exact procedure for operations like this, and analyse them, work out how things could have been done better. This is the way, over the long term, to improve. Everything I do, each painting, album, performance, action, is noted and considered in this way. I don't rely on memory or instinct, but rigour.

Self Portrait As Tripod has been 'finished' a few times. I glazed this with 3 layers, which is unusual, normally one is enough, but the violets were very transparent and I wasn't happy with the finish until later. Oil paintings generally do look better with more layers, but not always. You can't at all see the finish here, the degree of smoothness to the paint, but the last one is a lot smoother, plate-like, than the first. These photos of each complete glaze do show an evolution of the colours with each layer:

The middle layer in particular was a little flat and had a strange glowing artifact near the figure.

After scanning, I checked the projections and ran through the Salomé music for tomorrow. I can now play it all from memory. I also transcribed the music for one of my favourite game themes, Xenex from Amiga, which I play often on piano.

Wednesday, August 10, 2022

Final Preparations For Salomé 2

As the subject says, the final preparations for Salomé Crewe today. It's been such a busy week, two weeks, but today feels like the first 'normal' day.

We went for a talk in the library yesterday to see the space. Angus, the manager, was really warm and helpful and suggested that we might perform downstairs where the talk took place. This would be better, as the narrower upstairs space is flanked and backed with windows and streaming sunshine, which would make the projections almost invisible. This morning it was confirmed that we could perform downstairs, with a 60-minute setup, not long. We had three hours in Congleton, but we will have less equipment here. It will be daylit, so no lighting will be used, and I'll be using the smaller 150W amp; one keyboard, two mics, so doable in one hour, and we're the only thing on the bill so if things start a bit late it's not a disaster.

Parveen's talk was about her book and life of seeing angels, ghosts, and helping people using magical therapies. I don't believe in most of that, I can recognise the sales talk which she speaks instinctively like a Q.V.C. evangelist. I don't believe in a god or life after death, except in the minds of others, except in the mark we make in the universe, which is of course, inevitably permanent and tangible. Of the intangible, it's clear that reincarnation has many philosophical problems: Can we reincarnate into other, closely related animals? What if the population goes up or down? Who or what decides who is reincarnated where? What exactly IS reincarnated if not memories? And if memories are reincarnated, then why are not some people now super-humans with thousands of skills which were not learned - over time reincarnation would lead to the closure of all schools.

But there are more problems with angels, ghosts, auras, and other things. If you see something, eg. an angel, an aura, and nobody else sees it, then it's the same as you not seeing it, the outcome is identical to the vision not being there. Parveen talked about finding mysterious feathers everywhere - as though these were left by angels; what D.N.A. would those feathers contain? and why do angels have bird wings anyway, except in art? I find feathers everywhere too, yet no horns. Few people find discarded horns lying around. I suppose this is because demons just don't shed body-parts like angels.

The best story came from Angus, a story about a friend who packed two pork pies for a trip and later, when hungry, could only find one. This was attributed to supernatural forces. Perhaps the ghost pig floated away with its cooked body, in an homage to Pink Floyd. Ghost animals are remarkably rare. We're lucky not to see ghost wasps, moths, or spiders, despite the fact that more of them die each day than humans.

I've spent most of today finalising the new projections. Until the show I didn't appreciate the difference between an active screen and projections. Projections draw with light directly, and 'black' isn't a colour, it is nothing, off. White isn't very effective either, the best colours are, as in studio lighting, the secondary colours of yellow, cyan, magenta, and strong contrast is important too. Most of the videos were unchanged, but I've increased the contrast on two. For Dream Sequence and Sit With Your Ghost, which were grey, I've toned them in cyan, with a green (sad/old) colour for Rilke's photograph.

I wanted to remake Entwined In Infinity completely. The premiere video consisted of two eagles (well one, mirrored) but the light sky and generally light eagle too made it hard to see what it was, and the effect was poor. In my head, this poem and music was a sky-dance over water, and in a film that would be my aim, but for projections I envisioned a flight over a sort of digital landscape of waves, like an E.E.G. or 1980s computer landscape.

For this I made 8 lines with wave-like variations, and made them appear in the distance and move towards the camera. I added some smoke-like clouds, in cyan as in Dream Sequence, and a gradient for the sky and floor in blue and green respectively. Finally I made the camera sway left and right, bank, and rise and fall. The effect is quite amazing. Here's a screenshot:

I kept thinking that this represented the mind, a dance of thoughts, two thoughts interacting, so it matches the poem in this way; a dialogue between philosophers.

In between, I've found time to test the Behringer amp, which works and the crackle, present on one knob, is now gone - perhaps that was moisture. The sound quality won't be as good as Congleton primarily because it will be mono. Congleton, for me, already wasn't as good as it could be; I need a real grand piano really, the MODX piano is poor and the feel of the keyboard the worst of any keyboard I can remember, including my Yamaha PSS toys. The visual or sound quality of the show won't be as good as Congleton, but some aspects will be better.

Tuesday, August 09, 2022

Salomé Filing, Projector Screen Design

More busy days, but today feels like the first 'quiet' day. The past 3 or 4 have been 100% active, often waiting for the computer to convert a file, ready for the next edit.

The first video to TikTok, a Salomé clip has had 400+ views. I expect this is 'new user bias'. Most websites heavily promote a new user, then things drop to near-zero/normal. Every artist I've spoken to who has been on ArtFinder found that they sold a first work within 24-hours of joining, then nothing at all for the remaining years.

Many jobs now. New flyers for the new time on Friday. Notifying people directly about the new time. Posting a new Salome video on YouTube, and sharing on Twitter, Facebook, and a new one for Instagram, TikTok (which needed a new edit). A bio and details needed writing for John Hopper's new magazine which will include two of my stories.

Then ordering Bulldog clips for a new projector screen design. I have the idea of a kite-like design which uses stretchy material and thin dowelling to hold screen by the corners. One part left was how to hold it, so I've got one of my cheap camera tripods out and measured the height and distance to first leg, then cut a rectangle of wood, marking a middle (ish) point to for a tripod screw, then drilled a hole in the top for another camera tripod screw. This will fix to the screen. The back of the wood will probably be weighted to balance it. My aim is for a super-light screen that is super-large.

Other jobs of today are to re-make some videos for our performance. I must east early as we're going to a book launch in Crewe Library at 6pm.

In other news my father has had some sort of health crisis, my mum says that he's 'got a lot worse' over the last day or two (for years she has been telling him 'you're getting worse'. Perhaps exertion due to a long coach trip in this heat-wave.

Monday, August 08, 2022

Editing, Salomé Crewe

A full day yesterday of video editing, still feeling remarkably weak, perhaps a symptom of the high summer and its allergies.

Until now, most of my videos have been 720p (1280x720) but these are 1080p (1920x1080), known as Full High Definition. This takes a lot longer and the file sizes are huge. I dread to think how much data a feature film maker processes. After a few years where art was cheap to make due to the digital revolution, art is now expensive again due to arbitrary 'upgrades' like these and costs of data storage and processing. 1280x720 is more than Charlie Chaplin had.

Still, the new videos look amazing, and I have full-quality footage, so I will be using this from now on. I spent yesterday converting the 15 videos. 12 are our performance pieces, plus one of my introduction speech, one small clip of the ending, for fun and prosperity, and a primarily audio clip of Stefano's speech.

I also created a new poster for the Crewe performance on Friday after we committed to doing it, despite a general lack of interest and lack of facilities. I still think it's bizarre that Crewe, a reasonably sized town of 80,000 people, easily a City in America, has the smallest library and worst sports facilities of almost any Cheshire town or village; but this is a long term problem of attitude by the local authorities.

Today, more filing and completion of the work, and preparations for Friday's event, which, this morning, has been shifted from 7pm to 4pm - which has pros and cons. Angus at the library has found us a huge projector screen, which is great news.

The first videos are now live, and I've made my first TikTok post today too. Here's an image from Freud's Lecture, featuring Jane Harland as the knitter:

Sunday, August 07, 2022

Exhaustion and Video Editing

I feel utterly exhausted and physically run down, hardly the energy to move, but work is more pressing than ever.

Spent yesterday editing the 2x 20-minute HD videos, chopping and converting into 15 short films to document the performance. Mike kindly sent his sound recording of the night. Of the three recordings, my two are distorted on the piano parts, the camera badly so. Mike's audio has loud fan noise but is clear and I'll make the best of that.

The conversion process itself involves cropping and making two videos; one with audio for aligning the sound, and one without which will be used. Each raw video is 20,000kpbs or so, I convert to 6000 and each takes about 20 minutes. Then processing the audio, small changes generally to check the volume and editing for size - I don't want to filter it or change it much.

Stefano's long speech, 20 minutes or so, took about 45 minutes to render. I created a new animation using his image, his portrait from InkPantry, replacing Freud:

All of this first stage of conversion took from about 9am to 10pm yesterday. I expect it will take another full day today to convert these into the final videos. I need to make still images, credits etc., for each film.

After 10pm last night I worked on the posters for the Crewe performance. I really didn't want and don't want to do this, I feel too tired and was so looking forward to the end of the project last Wednesday - but Deb has pushed me and it is a good opportunity to perform it a second time, learning some of the lessons from the first performance. I'll make some changes to the projections, create four new videos, and hopefully be able to play better. The overwhelming workload, mental and physical, for these performances can't be over-stated. It is impossible in these circumstances to play the piano to any degree but the most basic.

On we roll our rock.

Friday, August 05, 2022

Salomé Premiere, Busy Days

A frantic couple of days. We left at 3:15pm to prepare for the Salomé premiere and collected Stefano from the station on the way. We started setting up at 4pm. I probably carry about 150kg of equipment, but Mike and Mr Potts were as helpful as ever and we managed to unload quickly, and set everything up.

We had time to visit Morrisons for Stefano's food. He was unused to the routine, we probably wouldn't be finished until 10:30, so it's important to work out when to eat. Deb and I brought Huels. Only the chocolate flavour is remotely palatable, but a liquid meal like this is ideal for show days. People began to arrive at 6:30:

We posed outside for a few photos:

And the show went ahead at 7pm. At the last moment I had to control the projector, in contrast to the rehearsals. I managed to play everything from memory, but had the sheet music there as a crutch. I was unhappy with every imperfection - there were many, but generally everything went well, and Jane Harland contributed by knitting during the Freud's Lecture part.

The Open Mic included Mike Drew, Cherie Tuffin, David Tuffin, Jane Harland, Steve, Bryan Hurst, John Lindley. Some sad news was that Andy Stubbs wasn't well enough to play. I decided to perform Nietzsche's Donkey there, even though I'd not even played it once never mind actually rehearsed it. In these situations, everything is based on feelings or instincts.

Stefano Santachiara hastily ate outside during the open mic, and as co-host and co-manager (with Mike doing so much too), I darted between room and Stefano during the Open Mic to check that all was well. I had no time to relax. Stefano then gave a short speech about Lou Salomé and her life, and answered a few questions from the audience.

I recorded the whole event in audio, but the quality was not very good; very booming in the low frequencies and the piano parts were usually so loud that they were distorted. I hope to experiment with the sound recorder to improve this... it's difficult as I'm unable to monitor this and perform too. I really need an extra person to record things. Our Salomé part (as opposed to the Open Mic) was video recorded too, but this meant that halfway through the performance, I had to leave the stage, walk through the audience, and reset the camera which was at the back of the room. All of these things harm the performance, but can't be helped when the workload is so great.

About 20 people came I think. I spoke to lots of people, and everyone was lovely, really supportive and friendly, and it was a joy to meet friends and new-comers alike.

The evening ended at 10pm to so, then an hour of packing, and carrying everything back to the car. We arrived here at 11pm or so, then the unpacking, and carrying everything up one or two flights of stairs to re-pack. This is the exhausting stage.

Stefano constantly talked, such that Deb or I rarely spoke or could manage it, which was tiring. I was amused that he said that we could stay up until 1am to find a new place for him to stay. I said that it was too late and suggested that we do this in the morning. We had arranged to go around Crewe at 10am, to find dental floss - 'I must go to the bathroom for the dance!'; 'the dance!', he repeated often. It took me a while to work out that he meant 'the dents', teeth. Oral-B dental floss is 1/5th the price here as in Italy, apparently. He said that he wouldn't get up until 10am - I thought this amusing. I knew I'd be up at 8am.

Stefano seemed oblivious to the people buzzing around him like bees. As a man he is a giant, perhaps 7ft tall, a gentle giant. He reminded me of Louis Theroux, somehow child-like. He's a professional writer, so words should be his special tool for communication, but his limited command of English made him seem simplistic rather than profound. As a journalist he is most known, in Italy, for a political exposé which threw him into the limelight. He became a polarising puppet of the state and media (both, in Italy, are closely linked - his tales made me glad that our media is more independent). He is not particularly political, merely interested in the facts and the truth like any journalist. His experiences of fame and manipulation caused him to quit journalism and write more artistic works, seek more creative independence.

He rose, in the end, at 9am or so, and we searched for a new property for him. He wanted the seaside and he chose a place in Blackpool, a town which, if seen at all, is best seen in the summer. We left to seek the floss, and failed, then parted at the railway station.

I had a few moments to prepare my piano lesson with Peter. He showed me an Instagram video of composer Michael Betteridge, in Crewe Market Hall on July 26th, playing some variations of a piece I wrote called 'Sunrise Over Crewe'. It was a simple piano tune for one of Peter's lessons. I quickly made up the title with a smile, but without it Michael might not have played it. I think it's the first time someone else has played variations of my music!

After the lesson I cycled (for the first time in many years) to see Simon Ladley, which is always a pleasure.

I've still lots of work to do, filing the event, editing the video, and so much else but lots has already happened. Deb had a message from Angus at Crewe Library, and an invitation for a Christmas Show (we'll do it!) and she asked about performing Salomé there next week, to make use of Stefano's presence in Britain. There is hardly any time to promote this so we need to first make sure that we can raise an audience.

Today I've made a stand for mum's new Humax recorder, which has a tiny light on the front, so tiny and weak that it's nearly impossible to tell if the machine is on or off. I've cut a wooden board, and planed a 45-degree bevel on the front, painting this with titanium white to reflect the light.

On with the day.

Wednesday, August 03, 2022

Salomé Show Day

Preparations for the Salome event today. Carried down much of the equipment last night, how I curse this heavy lugging! I must move 100kg of equipment, 2x amplifiers and the power-amp (itself over 10kg), stands and keyboard, smaller amp for Deb, 2x mic stands, mixer, mics, 4x lights, many power adaptors, books and other things to display, the projector, heavy video tripod and camera, and this aside from the props, costumes and many other things.

If find this increasingly hard work. The piano performance, technical and complex though it might be, is so easy and worry free compared to the hours of carrying, connecting, unpacking and packing. I read today about Rachmaninoff and his need for calming Crème de Menthe dueing shows. I need no such relaxant; the hard and anxious part is the setting up and taking down. At each performance I swear it will be the last. Oh for more strength!

This morning, I completed the masks; varnishing and fitting a cord for wearing. Mum, unexpectedly from my perspective, had no elastic so I used the yellow elastics from my old Covid FFP3 mask. Here are the masks:

I'll need to photograph these properly for my catalogue, and the other props. This itself will take a day or half-day.

Now, a day of preparations, packing, dressing. We much collect Stefano at 3:30pm or so. I hope that I can bring my guitar - Nietzsche's Donkey must live!

We've had a mention in Stefano's old newspaper in Italy:

Our first international mention as Fall in Green (I've had one at least as an artist, in Port Jervis for the Art for Shelter Animals Project).

I'll try to film everything today and will have to pause and reset the filming at half-way due to film size limitations. After today's performance I'll work on recording the music for the album, I want this to take a week - it may take two months. I'll add more to the recordings, it will certainly be more than piano-only (some were composed with strings in mind), and will probably include other sounds, and extensions or diversions. Every show we do is unique, different, we don't (not so far) tour the same show or perform one even twice. When we perform Salomé after the recording, it will probably be different again.

On with the show!

Tuesday, August 02, 2022

Neitzsche's Donkey, Meeting Stefano

A busy day yesterday, in the morning I thought it would be good, fun, to create a rock/guitar song for the open-mic part of the event, something in contrast to our music of the first half. This will be raw, not played wonderfully, as I've no time to rehearse this, but I took the opportunity to revise the words to a song called Nietzsche's Donkey which I sketched out a few weeks ago. It's about an incident at the end of Nietzsche's life where he allegedly flung his arms around the neck of a horse that was being beaten. I crossed the emotion with What's The Matter Here, an obscure but great song by 10,000 Maniacs. My words:

That donkey
in the street,
I know him;
he lives with the gravelled man.

I hear him
beat him,
curse him:
"You lazy useless good-for-nothing!"

Is he
a superman?
The superman I'd hoped for?
A superman?

Is he
a superman?
A superman?
Master of the weak?

At night
the donkey dreams
of freedom,
pastures lush and sweet
he'll never feel,
he'll never see;
love he'll never meet

until he's killed
by superman!
A superman!
Master of the world!

A race
of supermen!
Godless supermen!
Masters of a sinless race!

I'd tear up all my papers
if I knew the harm they'd cause
an act of kindness can do more
than words of cold philosophy.

There aren't many words to add imagery to, but I've done my best structurally, the 'At night' part is different in tone, as is the closing speech. In tempo and mood it's similar to 'I Care'.

Then a trip to collect art from the Bickerton Village Hall exhibition, a brief hello to Katharine Laird from my first art club, which was life changing in ways good and bad, as I was unjustly, if not bizarrely, excluded from it due to its extreme power politics - the man in charge didn't like me and a vote was made to change the written constitution to expel me on a technicality. A hello and chat too with the artist Ann Roach, who is ever busy with her many groups and exhibitions.

Then a dart back home for lunch and to collect Stefano Santachiara from the train station, and a visit to Congleton Library to reconnoitre the venue before our performance. It was great, inspiring and tiring to meet Stefano. He talked about his many books and projects. We visited Sandbach on the way back, a in interesting place to see. Here we are at the crosses:

Stefano talked about his current film project as writer and director. The film is largely complete apart from some post-production.