I awoke from a dream where I worked in an office of some sort as a secretary or junior. A forty-something David Bowie was there in a meeting with my boss and a girl who was somewhat awed by the musician. I was asked to do various silly jobs that seemed like pointless time fillers; my boos seemed like an idiot who didn't really want me to do anything. Such is a lot of 'work' in the 'real world', so I believe.
I did little in the morning, a little tired after a full yesterday. I sang at 2pm, as my parents went out, giving me a welcome time slot. I sang the new overlay vocals for 'Since You Kicked Me Out'. Now I feel used to knowing which volcas need doing and layering. I also recorded a full set for 'Fear of the Thing Itself', lots of one-takes as there are necessarily lots of layers here. I feel dissatisfied with the music today, all of it.
A new USB audio interface arrived but doesn't work, it seems it will only work on 64-bit operating systems. They don't say this anywhere; the box itself simply says 'PC Compatible'. I've contacted their customer support, which itself was a frustrating experience because I had to unpack everything and register the device with them just to contact them.
Saddening. This might be the first thing I'll ever have to return to Amazon. This is made more difficult as it's expensive and from a third-party seller. A saddening day. A frustrating day. Everything feels annoying.
I updated Taskforce a bit, and this tiny update introduced a bug. I don't mind tracking down some bugs; this one proved to be a fundamental one with my game engine, a crash when trying to delete a sprite which doesn't exist. My code is normally so efficient that I've never before, in 18 years, tried to delete a sprite which doesn't exist; I literally keep track of all of them and delete only when needed. In this case, the sprite was part of a menu system, and the menu in question was unnaturally triplicated - one option appearing on three pages. Naturally, all three pages need updating when any one is cycled. It's a bit messy but I've fixed the bug.
I have seven finished songs now. They very quite a lot in style and balancing. I would prefer if the latter were unified. I like the idea of an album as an artform, unity. I generally dislike collections, but this is an experiment, not serious, so it's fine to mix up songs old and new, strange and catchy. Perhaps, for the sake of unity, I could link parts somehow.
It seems that the CD is a dead format, but this saddens and annoys me too. Downloads have silly restrictions. The law about a track not being able to change name, like 'Cephalopoda' on Animalia, is one such silly rule. I'm still tempted to make the CD version show the correct title of 'Gastropoda'. Another is track length; on Burn of God I wanted a few very short tracks, a few seconds, as headers. This is not allowed in downloads. Downloads are pop-music-only. That is all. And the sound quality is poor. Books don't seem to be dying, so why would CDs? Perhaps because CD players are not being made or sold, and removed from cars. Must we resort to vinyl? Music, a ubiquitous artform, is being devalued everywhere. Made only for backgrounds, the mindless, brainless, soulless. I must continue to steer away from silly trends and aim at only the best. I will make works of album-size and scope, even if alone.
David Lynch has given up making films it seems. I used to meditate in my twenties, almost for the whole decade, but it seems a selfish act, to do nothing for the world. I fear and hate the idea contentment or happiness, what pointless and selfish aims. The romantic must fight, every day. Create, scream. The measure of an artist is creating when there is no need for it. Creating when there is a need is not art, it is work, commerce, 'graphics', 'craft' and other such insults. I have only death awaiting so no time to waste pandering to commerce or chasing other's ideas.
I must break the next tasks into rational steps, and get this album finished this month at least. I need to complete Fear, and some artwork for it all, but also add new tracks... unification, smoothing, joining. This is all an experiment, I must remember that. A study, as van Gogh says. A final work is one whole, a unity. Beethoven, Sulzer, Neefe; they knew this.
