A full day yesterday but not as productive, the time consuming final steps of finishing the manual for SFXEngine, the last tweaks. I finished at 8:30pm and consider this stage complete.
I woke late. In the night I thought about god and the wounded universe, that the universe is damaged by chaos, and that it (god?) looks to life to heal and repair it. This firmly puts humanity, even plants, above a god who needs our care.
Likewise, I thought about Schiller, still the most important writer on aesthetics. Critics can criticise the artist but the art is forever separate from the universe, like mathematics. "Only art and science can raise men to the level of gods." said Beethoven in his paraphrase, and truthfully so. For me art and science are beyond 'god', for those things are a perfection that the universe lacks. The universe tries to match perfect mathematics, but cannot because infinity can exist only in theory. Art and science, as perfect theoretical concepts, are beyond god, making artists the healers of a damaged god; not in a prideful way, but in a caring one, for we too are part of the universe.
I'm tired today. I think I, like Deb, have caught a minor virus and I've done little but sit and want to sleep. I've never particuarly experienced depression. I rarely feel bored or lonely, perhaps never, lackluster only in times like this, times between work, but these are times of recovery and reflection. I will keep resting a little, then do again. Work, life, should not be about feelings, but needs and doing. Life, like art is a struggle because it takes intelligence, work and energy, and the greater the struggle, intelligence, work, and energy, the greater the art, the greater the good.
