Filing

I love filing, and organising, and finding more efficient ways to store data. I order everything carefully, my room, living spaces, and equipment are always highly organised with thought and care behind each thing. I think it's the job of humanity, and the job of life itself to organise, tidy and order, blessed at the cleaners and the archivists, for they are doing the ultimate job of life itself.

It's the last day of the year, so I've spent it filing my computer data; amazingly I've made about 100Gb of new data this year, which is about 20% of everything I've ever made in 30 years; of course this is the problem with my recent fad of video. My games take months (or years) of work yet can be tiny, only a few Mb in size. All of my 1000 or so catalogued paintings have 300 dpi scans, most with photos of the work in their frames too. That data, my music albums, and my videos take up the three bulk lots of data.

Each album has 600 dpi artwork now (for CD format, so 600dpi at 12cm), plus the final music in 32-bit float format, stereo (I could export in 6-track, if I really wanted to mix such a thing), plus takes of any vocals, recordings, sounds. I want to be efficient in storage, not duplicate anything or store too much. Most of my old albums have hardly any information, and no recordings, but as I move more and more to vocal work or other live work, each album is bigger and bigger. The Modern Games takes up as much space as my first ten albums put together! I rarely keep outtakes unless I'm sure they will be useful, it's not efficient.

With video things get bigger. I currently keep enough source video to recompile a 6000kbps final file. Anything more than that would take up too much space at the moment (although, over time, storage methods get cheaper and cheaper, keeping pace with growing data sizes, my new action camera is hugely wasteful with big resolution and a high bitrate for very poor resulting video; there's really nothing to be gained by keeping a full quality copy of its output).

Last night I began to think about how much space a modern digital feature film might take, and the answer was a lot. I also thought about long term archiving options for digital data, which would need to be as strong, and as physical as possible, rather than overly technical or dependent on too much technology (which can become obsolete quickly). Digital data can be very susceptible to deterioration because one bit out of place can really whack a number out.

My solution was a stainless steel, or ceramic, disc (ceramics might be more resistant to heat changes, but may be more brittle). The information would be encoded in physical pits or peaks, like tiny holes and tiny mountains, burned by laser. The pits would be horizontal lines, and form a spiral groove, or perhaps constrained by another valley to make a literal groove, so that if deformed, like a warped vinyl record, the data could still be read. The identical binary digit would be encoded again, in inverse (so a 1 would be encoded as 0) on the opposite side of the disc, this time spiralling from the inside outwards in a second groove. This would limit the effects of groove damage, so at least one piece of data would survive if a groove were damaged.

The bits would be read by comparison with its twin. Say a mountain represents 1, a pit 0. An ideal disc would measure a mountain in the primary groove, and its valley twin, at the ideal height or depth, and so read a 1. The useful part about having twins is that if point A was higher than B, it would equate to 1 (or if A lower than B, 0) no matter what the actual height was; the data is determined by the relative height, so if the entire disc were distorted, the data should remain intact. The reading mechanism would need some sort of key starting point for both heads, and other key details to keep in sync.

The system is like using an analogue vinyl record to store digital data, where even severe distortions will not affect the relative information quality, and having two copies of the data (similar to D.N.A.) would serve as a second check.

This should make the system far more resilient to damage than a CD or hard drive. You could probably take a blow torch to half of the disc as still retrieve data.

Today's filing has taken all day, one of many full days I spend each year merely organising files, filenames, packing and sorting. Archiving is enticing and addictive (as Leon Vitali knows), but creation of new work is the important thing. I think they're both important parts of the same job; digging, shoring up the tunnel...

Eagles and Crystals

More work on the Eagle Interceptor video today, a few segments re-filmed. I expect it will take another full day but tomorrow will be a day of end-of-year backups. Here is one still; quite a few interesting effects in this one.

I also made a simple video for the relaxing, ambient piece of music The Crystal Garden, from the experimental album, Pi. Pi was a trivial piece of work and I don't want to go to great lengths over the videos for those tracks. The best track is probably The Clockwork Harpsichord, so I aim to make a video for that.

I'm starting to get tired of these videos now, and don't want to get too obsessed with making lots of videos for each album. I must remember that future work is the important thing, but also that these videos are art too, and must express my abilities. Onwards to 2020, and eternity beyond!

Eagle Interceptor

Day 1 of filming for Eagle Interceptor. I began by thinking of everything connected with the feelings and images in the music; located an eagle in some free wildlife footage, then made a list of things to film. I went to the park and filmed some 'flight' over the fields by merely running, and took my new action camera to test too. I recorded about 20 clips overall, some movement over fields, and some quieter parts too, various parts to use.

Here's a still from the action camera:

I also recorded some time-lapse clouds with my Brinno TLC200, a good but not exceptional camera, it's rather grainy. It is, however, the best time-lapse camera available, and easy to use.

The flight didn't work as well as it should. It's difficult to get right because I didn't want to include houses or fences or anything non-natural. I also kept the camera low, which made it impossible to view what I was filming. The action camera was disappointing in quality; it had tearing and was jerky, probably due to the way the films were assembled, from top to bottom, a technical restriction. It meant that everything would have a shaky and jerky look, no matter what. The best results from it were using the waterproof case, a test show under a stream. This might be its only use, but for £15, it is worth owning.

Generally, my trusty DSLR produced the best results. When I won the Cheshire Open Art competition I wanted to spend the £1000 money on an investment in my art, and this camera was that. It's amazing how useful its proved to be over the years. A Canon 1100D, the most basic model Canon make, and I know people with far fancier equipment who do nothing at all useful with it, yet I use this almost every day and have made countless films with it. It's probably better than the tools Ingmar Bergman had; what more do I need?

Most of the films I took were not useful, but I assembled what I had, then filmed myself playing the music, with audio playing to synchronise it. I then put any old thing together while listening to the music, to make a full first draft of the video.

I have that now, and will refine, refilm and keep polishing what I have. What I'm missing is some glorious, soaring gliding image for the chorus... I'm using my time-lapse footage for that but it's not quite enough...

I'm keen, as ever to finish this and move on. So much to make and film.

The Lost Princess

Back to work after the Christmas break, continuing where I left off with The Lost Princess video, a relaxing and dreamy piano tune, relatively easy to make a video for in these bleak months.

I need more videos for some of the faster tunes, for Animalia, or Bites of Greatness, or The Twelve Seasons. This is more difficult. I've bought a two-year old action camera in the sales for £15, a good deal; most of the criticism of it comes from the very poor manual and on screen English, which is awful. I can't set white balancing either, it seems to be locked to sunlight, which is slightly easier to cope with than 'automatic', as I can fix it in software with consistency. I had hoped to attach it to my tiny Hakasee drone, but the drone can't lift the weight of the camera. The drone has a 640x480 camera itself, but the video quality is really poor, even in bright light, and the flight itself is so jerky that it is less smooth than walking or running with my DSLR, so the drone is of almost no use as a video tool.

I must try to focus on a piece of music for a video... Eagle Interceptor would be a good choice perhaps, but this music seems to demand flight or movement... it's too dark today for any outdoor filming. Perhaps I can find some indoor filming to do for another tune. I have about eight or ten videos on my list so far... must try to get them done quickly. I feel I'm slowing due to indecision. In such circumstances, it's best to do everything rather than worry about deciding.

At times I feel like a friendless eccentric. I'm largely cut off from other artists, am not part of other groups. Even if only partly true, my work, and the quality of it, is the important thing. My creations will be my only legacy, and I, at least, must care about them, and try to do my best, for humanity, each day.

Videos

More video work over the past few days, finalising Pioneer yesterday, and half filming some scenes for The Lost Princess from Music of Poetic Objects, but with each video I want to push things differently, further somehow. I've also programmed and then captured a video for the main Flatspace theme, so two videos for that album are now complete.

Have spent much of today visiting friends on this Christmas Eve.

I must try to get videos done for some of my better albums that lack them; The Spiral Staircase, Animalia, The Twelve Seasons, Bites of Greatness. I might work on something for The Infinite Forest too, but perhaps wait to remaster that work. A video for Life Beyond Mars would be nice too. So much work to do!

Video Work

A nervous energy filled few days. I woke at 5am yesterday, and, wide awake in the darkness, thought about future projects. I reminded myself how few music videos I had, and how that I've got lots of good tunes or songs, such as most of the Bites of Greatness album, that have no videos. Pandora, Jellyfish and Trax are all fast and catchy tunes of that sort that define that album, yet largely unheard, and no videos! The only track that does have a video, Jarre's Party, is one of the worst tunes (I named it after the weird bendy sounds which sound a bit like Jarre's in Magnetic Fields 5).

So many other albums lack videos too; many of the great tunes on Animalia (the Mice video is old and grainy), or The Twelve Seasons, which lacks videos for any of the primary Spring, Summer, Autumn and Winter tracks. Those three albums are all very much in the Jean-Michel Jarre mould of my first period of music, and at least need to be heard or discovered - and people listen and find music on YouTube nowadays. As a result of this I became full of energy before my trip to Macclesfield, and started by reprogramming Flatspace so that I can use the game intro itself as a music video for the title music for the Flatspace soundtrack album.

Then, a freezing, 90-minute bus ride to a Macclesfield to invigilate at the Macc Art Lounge. I sold a small miniature, and two of the very few remaining copies of Songs of Life (there are only about 6 copies left from the 100 print run, I'm extremely unlikely to print any more of this edition). These were my first sales, so far, at the Macc Lounge, so a good day. In the evening, I invented a new cocktail of Cranberry Juice and Warnicks' Advocaat, which I named a Fruit Salad as it looks and tastes like the famous sweets.

Today, working on new music video plans, and filmed a wintry video for Snow, also from The Flatspace Soundtrack. So many music videos use ancient footage (even I am guilty!) and no footage of the artist at all, but I'm determined to film as much as possible, and make the videos as good as possible, given my limits on time, budget and equipment. I can't spend a month per video, though I'd love to. A day would be ideal, or a week or two if needed, for a new song. The video must be art too. I've put together some space footage from NASA and ESA for Pioneer from my first album, Arcangel, so will work on that tomorrow.

Here's a still from the Snow video. This decaying leaf from the garden looks fabulous. It's a perfect video to film on solstice day.

The Palace of Skeletons

Work on the Skeletons song today, and a second one to follow it. The music interestingly explodes into a chaotic soundscape including a real stereo recording of being inside a beehive, then an explosion and bells. This dies off suddenly into a song about being alone in the universe. The drama and strangeness of this album is unlike anything before, which is good. I need to keep working on the earlier songs, but now the first three sections are complete. I need an ending about unity, joy.

A ballroom in the palace of skeletons I watch you dance and glist The banquet is rotted and bad The starving bones look on with avarice and I look into your empty eyes your gaze seems familiar it is me!

Rick Wakeman

Still working on music. I've got about 4 pieces in progres for my next 'skeletons' stage, but none are that inspiring, too tuneless, although the mood and imagery are about right. I'm playing guitar more and more and feel the need to use and include it, it feel pleasurable to do so because it is new.

I went to a Rick Wakeman piano performance last night which was technically inspiring. His right hand seems to do about 75% of the work, his famous ornaments, like musical filigree, complimenting each note. I feel that this is easy to do with practice. It is my timing that is completely inaccurate by comparison with trained pianists. Expression is about tearing apart accuracy to create contrast, but the accuracy must be there when needed.

David Lawton advised me to take some time away from my music, and sometimes I feel tempted, that it would be efficient, but I've never managed more than a day or two away from a project, and even on those short gaps am constantly thinking about it. In practice, I must work constantly until the job is done. Stopping is a fear, a fear of dying without achieving. Every day must be art.

As I said to David, I prefer to whip myself into action with a tight deadline... imagining far bigger ambitions to make my troubles seem tiny and easy... remembering all I want to do in my life, not merely this month. Then, these little bumps will be easy to overcome. Another trick is to inspire yourself with bad art, you can only know about your own abilities by seeing, hearing, how bad other so-called artists art. Exposure to both the best and the worst are important; both can be inspiring. The best to aspire to, the worst to give us confidence in our abilities. Problems can arise if we confuse the two..!

Burn of God Battles

Working hard again on Burn of God. This album is so difficult because it's taken so long and is ever changing, it's well over a year old now. My first album written with lots of vocals in mind, and my voice has changed and is changing as I work. My first album with live guitar, which I'm learning in leaps as I progress. Everything moves so much that it's hard to create anything that feels unified, or even pretty, or whole, or good enough.

The steps are to identify problems in a rational way, and fix. I have a structure written now, a final script, which I will now stick to. I'm torn between perfecting and repairing what is there already, or starting work on the new parts. Time is short. Life if short. The future is bleak and dark and cold; new art much be done quickly.

Am working on the cover intermittently. Here it is so far:

Macc Lounge Performance

A lovely and memorable performance on Saturday to a select few in the Macc Art Lounge. Yesterday was spent recovering and finalising Christmas plans. Now to get back to Burn of God. I've made a plan, so will finalise and complete as much as I can.

More Flatspace

Flatspace and Flatspace II coding yesterday, both games needed some tweaks. The into tunnel sometimes reset for some reason (almost as though timeGetTime() returned an earlier number when called later!) and the Saved Games list in Flatspace didn't display, the music volumes didn't work. Little things. The game is largely complete but I haven't time to test it extensively.

Have released the Flatspace II v1.05 update today, and preparing for the Fall in Green performance tomorrow. A very busy two weeks ends, I've hardly had an hour off since December 1st, and that's how I like things, so the next job is to think how to do more, do more, create as best and as much as I can.

I must complete Burn of God first, then perhaps work on more Marius songs, more pop-vocals, and we need more Fall in Green albums too. We've made so much since Testing the Delicates, the clown poems, the War is Over poems, the Rattenfanger poems. Each of these deserves a quality recording. Without recording, a performance dies with the memories of those who saw it.

Game Graphics Revamp and Flatspace Store Setup

After two days finalising Christmas preparations, a great day working on Flatspace, Future Snooker and Future Pool today. I'm at the height of a positive mania.

First redesigned the primary 'box art' for Future Snooker and Future Pool, this involved making a 3D mockup of the scene and rendering with full lighting, shadows and reflections. This is much more dramatic and clear as to that the game is about, rather than mere text.

Then I started work on similar graphics for Flatspace, using the old DVD box art as a template for inspiration. Amazing to think that I used to sell copies of this on DVD, certainly less than 40 were ever sold this way as that was how many A4 laser-printed sheets I had printed.

The art, back in 2004 and 2005, was all very low resolution, with a few higher quality snippets, but I've managed to make a new box image with some of the original 'photos' of the 3D ships which were made during development. Then I set up the Flatspace store and started to upload the new Future Snooker, Future Pool and Flatspace artwork, and enter all of the other Flatspace details.

Then, the essential trailer video. I recorded a few clips of gameplay in 1920x1080 last night; this will make the Flatspace trailer better looking than Flatspace IIk (although both games look the same in reality, Flatspace IIk looks a little better).

The video needed a new music edit. I designed my music software to export frame numbers to make video synchronisation easy, so the trailer is a simple matter of a few clips and a selection of game 'professions'.

I'm amazed to complete this in a day, it used to take me several days for these jobs. The game itself needs a few tweaks and changes, although the gameplay won't be affected or updated in any way; only Flatspace IIk will be updated like this. Flatspace is a former and older game and will only be updated sufficiently to make it work on modern computers.

I found time to practice guitar and piano for a combined hour or so. I might rewire my LED performance light this evening, as it needs a mains extension.

Oh for a success. If Flatspace IIk sells 20,000 copies then I would certainly start development of Flatspace 3, which has extensive plans, and will be a large leap in capability over the current two games; more different from Flatspace II than II was from I.

Onward to glory!

Bank Dream, Christmas

A full few days, feeling full of energy and ideas, having not enough time, but filling every hour optimally.

I dreamed last night of a music gig in the street here, involving local musicians. I regretted that I wasn't invited, feeling sad at my lack of ability to ask about these things, and general lack of connections and my anti-socialness. I then proceeded to walk home, across what was now London, knowing that the best option was to get to Bank tube station by walking across the capital in a straight line, cutting over schools, car parks, and other strange places. At times I recalled my route but it was very convoluted; at one point I even rode a corkscrew rollercoaster. My journey took a long time and was a lot of work with many distractions, entering and leaving buildings, conversations and meetings, but I eventually came within sight of Bank station, although I don't think I got further. I determined that this dream was about the path to music riches being difficult, long, arduous, or nigh on impossible, which probably matches my beliefs.

I woke late and started the day by updating my mailing list software, then preparing and uploading the v1.05 beta of Flatspace IIk for testing by Andrew and the community. Then worked on a few Christmas gifts before an afternoon and evening with other festive preparations.

Flatspace

A busy week ends. Two days spent updating the first Flatspace game with my latest game engine, and updating Flatspace IIk too. It's nearly 15 years to the day since Flatspace was first released and I'm thinking that it's time that this first game saw a new light of day. Like many of games of this era, it's not comfortable on Windows machines since 2018 because of the way my game engine, Hector, populated textures, which means my old games are really slow to load. Slowly, over several months, I am getting through my catalogue.

Have spent today in the Macc Art Lounge, drawing out my Christmas cards. Full of ideas and energy, I must keep charging at the world at maximum speed.

Retrospective

A busy couple of days, although many hours of yesterday and one of today was filled with changing my internet supply, desperately trying to find the elusive Black Friday Sales deals that are, apparently, only available to new customers. I also spent an hour or two updating my website, listing paintings by date order. Sorting by date makes more sense because we all change as artists over time, my work often follows my life path, rather than theme or subject in the paintings. Also this opens up new, empty space to fill.

Still, time can repeat itself. Yesterday reminded me of my painting Waiting For B.T.:

Today I'm working on a secret game programming experiment, which, if it works, will come to Steam in 2020. I'm filled with energy and art ideas, a new renaissance beckons.

Final ArtSwarm Filming

A busy day. Filmed, edited, and uploaded the next and final ArtSwarm. Then, I wanted a specific book for a friend, but it didn't exist, so I wrote and formatted all 355 pages of it today.

Marius and ArtSwarm

An exhausting day yesterday, I grew to feel pressured to put on a show for Carol Forrester's book launch, which started as a simple and fun piece of entertainment but grew into something spectacularly over the top in ambition terms, and a great deal of work, but free and small events can be very useful. I tend to use "anything goes" shows as an experimental test of some sort. It's a perfect time to try new things, the audience can take what they are given. It's great freedom for a performer, everything succeeds, but, of course, I want it to showcase things at their best, so there is some balance. I drive myself crazy with the battle between this perfectionism and ersatz chaos.

In physical and mental terms this small event was huge; Two 800W amplifiers, mixer, 150W mic amp, two performance mics, digital piano, small synthesizer, projector, and heavyweight tripod were used, perhaps 200kg of equipment. It was the first performance to use the projector. In technical terms everything worked as planned. There were a few small hiccups. The lighting was difficult to get right; it needs to be dark for projection, yet performers need to be seen in front of it. As Marius, I stood on the projector remote and switched off the audio in mid song which made the audience gasp, almost the only reaction from the darkened hall (I could try it again!). I also overran as Marius by about 8 minutes, which I regretted doing, but this, only my second live vocal performance was good enough by my judgement, certainly better than at ArtsFest and destined to improve with practice and monitoring, as all skills are.

Overall, everything was a strain. Memorising the words to the five songs and the music to the seven Fall in Green parts was difficult. Connecting and working on the sound and light checking and keeping all of these settings in mind was difficult too; and my most disliked part, the physically carrying the equipment which takes at least 90 minutes at the start and end of nights like this, but keeping fit by carrying probably has more benefits than costs.

A busy day today too, monthly backups, preparation of the final ArtSwarm. Maggie sent in a video which was a bit too politically charged to risk in ArtSwarm; I've learned that people will associate me and the show with its output. It's a sad moment to see the show end, but it has come to a natural close, even moreso than ArtsLab. It became increasingly difficult to attract any submissions, and the learning experience of creating videos, for just about everyone of those who made things for the show, is complete. The transition from radio to video was worthwhile, useful and fruitful. Before ArtSwarm I'd made 95 videos between 2010 and 2017. I've made over 100 in the last two years alone (12 alone on Thursday!), and I'm certain that most contributors, Andrew, Deborah, have also made more than they would have without the programme. The transition from video to live performance might be even more fruitful, but I must try to record these. The ArtSwarm channel, the name and the experience, will continue.

Mania

A manic week, I think I've only slept for one night of it. Today's performance was, back when it started, a little performance of some sort of make Carol Finch's launch interesting. Then I decided to do a 5 track Marius Fate performance, including the first live performance of The Trees. Then, Deb reminded me that if she were to read then I should really play too, as half of Fall in Green, so that split the evening into two, 15 minute sections, and involved a costume change, my 20Kg digital piano, Korg synth and two mics. Then I bought a cheap projector a few days ago, and decided to make videos for every track we, and Marius, performed. Stopping the show to play with projector menus isn't an option, so the most efficient way is to make a video for every track, although this means 26 videos (if you include the 'gap' videos between the tracks).

Then I decided that the projector needs a stand, so, at 4pm yesterday after a day in the Macc Art Lounge, cut a base platform from wood, and drilled some 4mm holes into it to screw into the projector base, then fitted it to my Cayer tripod quick release plate, allowing me to use the tripod as a projector stand. It's not perfect, as the two plates that come with the Cayer are annoyingly different, but it's much better to use than putting the projector on the floor. I've just ordered a new 3M lead for it.

And today, I need to memories the lyrics to 5 songs, and memorise the piano music to 7 Fall in Green tracks, before leaving at 5pm to set up the 800W PA system, 150W mic amp, two synths, projector, and everything else, and all for the glory of art and to make the best show I can. As the first use of the projector, it will be a useful field test of new equipment and procedures.

Now, to rehearse and piano practice. Less than three hours to go. This week has been too much and I'm verging on an unhelpful mania. I can't wait to enter a quieter week next week, although my plans for December are ambitious.

Projections, Rehearsal, Existence

Manically busy day today, have made 14 new videos to accompany each of our pieces for the Saturday event, including videos for my Marius Fate songs. Some of these have backing music or sound effects built. Many are relatively simple loops or film clips, the only thing I have time for, not much time for special effects or artistic editing or synchronisation; but they will certainly add to the show. I really need to make some sort of projector viewing platform that I can attach to my camera tripod, but I won't have time until after the performance.

Managed a 45 minute break to gulp down some food before continuing and then a full technical rehearsal at 3pm. All seems to work but the USB still did a few unexpected things; the order of the files was not as expected (the order was but the first one in the list was no the first). I'm also getting some hum from the projector audio cable (definitely not the projector's fault, it hums even when not connected). The cable is too thin, too unshielded. 1/4 inch jack cables seem better and more solid, but spindly 3.5mm cables are a bit rubbish, yet so many devices now use the tiny connection. I might find an adaptor to use with the thicker cables.

Awake a lot of the night with panicky nightmares. I became acutely aware that we are part of a network of humans, a network of friends, to make a nation, a network of countries, a network of planets, stars, galaxies; but also that we are composite beings, made from cells that form a network of tiny animals that make us, that cells are composites of organelles, and they are made from molecules, made from atoms, and subatomic particles. We appear to be individuals but are merely part of this train of information storage and organisation, from tiny to massive, a sort of quantised existence of a broad flow, the ocean of existence. Our cells could be seen as quantised particles, and we could, as particles adrift in society, phasing in and out of existence relative to social contact.

Top Projector Tips

Projector experiments today. I have Yaber Y30 projector (also known as a Yaber 5500, supposedly the lumen rating, but it's not 5500 lumen, closer to 1500, which is still pretty bright for the vastly cheaper cost and reliability compared to a similarly capable Canon projector).

This info might be useful to contemporary projector owners as a lot of the menus and such seem to be the same across these cheap Chinese projectors. This applies to USB use. Obviously, everything is simple with a HDMI or other live video input, but the USB input can be very powerful and reliable if used in the right way. Why bring a laptop when a stick will do?

1. Will show images, videos, text, or play audio files, but only one of each type; it won't skip from a video to a still for example.
2. Stills will pause for a few seconds (on my projector this time can't be specified and is about 5 seconds) and then move on with a random transition. This is pretty useless, as a slideshow that skips on command would be more useful for presentations. The best option is not to use stills at all and make a video of the still image.
3. Video files are read, mostly, in copy-over order, and this is the order that the videos play. The filename is not relevant. Windows often (for years) copies over the last file in a selected list, then the others in alphabetical order (or any old order), so don't just drag and drop and hope that the order will be correct. The way to do it is take a blank AND newly formatted USB stick and copy your video files over one at a time in the order you want them to play. I tried this with a blank but not formatted USB stick and it STILL put the first file copied last in the list. With a formatted stick, the order was exactly as copied.
4. At the end of playing it will skip to the next video automatically; again annoying and useless. One way round this is to create a blank and silent video and interleave it between your videos, then the skip button will skip to the next one.
5. Videos can't be made to loop (unless you just play one, in which case it will keep looping whether you want it to or not).

Admin

Awake for most for the night with stomach pain, but used the time to make detailed Christmas present plans. I seem to spend too long promoting or planning rather than doing. It's easy to slip into or obsess about trivialities. Tomorrow; rehearsals for Carol Finch's book launch on Saturday. As Fall in Green we will perform 15 minutes or so of new material from Deb's Wilkommen Zum Rattenfanger Theater, and I will need to do a costume an equipment change to perform as Marius Fate too. A lot of work. I'll convince myself that this is how Rick Wakeman must have felt when touring in his heyday.

In December I must try to charge into new art.

Euston Book Signing

Long day. Left at 10am for the train, which was ten minutes late. Arrived in Euston at about 1pm and set up our table. Nicole, the Virgin Team Leader, was really nice and helpful, and come to think of it, most of my experiences of ever doing things, as an artist, with Virgin Trains has been really good, with friendly, supporting, and efficient staff.

The stall looked as good as it had before, with better signage, but it was difficult to engage with the passengers who were often busy, rushing, generally prone to ignoring stalls, but we (well, mostly Deb) spoke to several nice peripatetic aficionados of art, writing, poetry. Deb sold two Testing the Delicates and a Rattenfanger, and a joint Fall in Green CD. I sold a copy of Songs of Life, and metaphorically kicked myself for making a mistake on the sub totals; a calculator would be useful.

Bought some food and left, the train again ten minutes late. Overall we lost money on our 370-mile round trip, but we were warm and met some nice people; although I generally didn't say much. Perhaps I'm a little out of practice at human interaction these days, feeling often at the moment like I did in 2007 or so when Andrew Williams was my only friend, by email or pen. Art must be in phases, in, out. Each has advantages and disadvantages. I find I'm often happier the more I withdraw and the less I interact with people, although we have different moods, different personalities that become dominant. Perhaps, I hypothesized recently, our cells club together to form different creatures, each talking to another; the voices in our heads must necessarily be one fraction of our self communicating with another.

When The Time Is Done, Euston Signing

Yesterday was a spare day between two busy days. I decided to plan the next live ArtSwarm event a bit, some ideas for Felines, practice guitar, and record a song and make a video for the next ArtSwarm programme which is very probably the end of the show itself. I needed to do more. I'm anxious to create and finish work as soon as possible. I have, at least, a plan for Burn of God. I can't allow myself to rest, sleep, stagnate.

Here's a clip from my ArtSwarm video, When The Time Is Done:

When the time is done
and the world is only shadows
the echoes of our actions, our lives and loves
live on

When the time is done
we continue through our impact
we can never be erased
for we are part of all things

Only Andrew Williams has submitted anything for ArtSwarm so far, and it seems that ArtSwarm has gradually wound down. Over the run, one or two people had submitted one video once, people who stumbled across the programme perhaps, or saw my call in the Arts News newsletter, but they didn't seem to want to send more, or really get involved with the show. Is making an interactive show not really possible? Perhaps this is the limit of creativity.

Perhaps the idea will resurrect one day, it is a worthy successor to ArtsLab on RedShift, and always more popular, but that was partly because of the way RedShift did things; ArtsLab was for a long time the most popular show on the station because the format included so many people, and even if only the contributors listened that would break a few records. The RedShift producers always seemed to dodge the question when asked how many people listen, the actual answer was usually nobody at all, and when I was there the majority of the station's full-time output had less than ten listeners. I learned that the station didn't exist for the listeners, or to produce good programmes, it was there as a community scheme for the presenters who wanted to play their favourite records. In learning to present live radio and becoming part of that family, my experiences at the station were valuable, enjoyable, and life transforming. Everyone there was there because they were doing something they loved, and every person and experience I've had with RedShift has been positive.

Off to London today to sign books in the Virgin 1st Class Passenger Lounge in Euston Station. I'll be showing off a painting, and a poem by Martin Elder from the Write Out Loud poetry group, the biggest poetry collective in Britain and perhaps the world! This makes the event a spectacle. So, this little stall can be a participatory art show in itself.

ArtSwarm First Time

A busy Saturday, all spent preparing for the live ArtSwarm event, First Time. I always fear that not many people will come, but there are always a few people who come who weren't expected, and always a few who don't come for whatever reason. Three performers pulled out, two of which I expected and one who let me know shortly before. This is an inevitable consequence of organising any participatory event, whether unpaid and voluntary or paid. I try to make performers feel welcome and that they should want to perform or try something. I rarely ask people to perform because most of the will and desire should come from the performers. Myself, I have a 'show must go on' attitude and I don't think I've ever cancelled an appointment or gig or appearance or event of any sort (but then, even at my senior school I had a 100% attendance record for all 5 years, attending even when ill).

But when organising anything, one or two missing acts are inevitable. I aim to be forgiving of such things, especially for things like ArtSwarm where performers might well do something next time anyway and where the atmosphere is ersatz, experimental, fun; but I still want to treat the audience respectfully and the performers professionally. Special guests who promise to be there up to the last minute, but don't turn up, insult everyone and had better be dying and unable to apologise for it!

This didn't happen on Saturday though, there were no special guests and the whole night was easy and relaxed. It's amazing how different each of these nights are. I sometimes struggle, as I did with ArtsLab, with the balance of fun and entertaining versus serious and artistic. I made another post about the fun being serious, and indeed, every expression is still art. This time, perhaps due to the shorter span, I felt the need to be more entertaining. I did struggle with the topic, First Time, too.

My first, very silly, song was about Neil Armstrong, sang to a simple backing track with a few live synth elements. Alice Smith supplied an image to project, and Nick Ferenczi kindy brought his projector for this (I hate borrowing or relying on other people's equipment! I need to test and check everything and know the tech inside and out, this is a lesson from the two years of Mash events; with technology, rehearse and try everything). Alice's piece involved her talking to her younger self. Maggie sang a few songs, as did Nick, and we had poems from several people. I read random words from first lines of books.

Highlights for me: Nick sang a song which was more like a prose poem, and used the guitar to make sound effects more than actually play. It had a punk-like feeling. Deborah had a silent disco in the dark. All of the lights were switched off and, in silence, the audience stood up and danced. We could make out each others silhouettes, but not faces. It created a strange feeling, communal and intimate and yet distant and free too.

There was enough time left to just chat for 45 minutes or so, something I rarely get time for. It made me appreciate the meeting aspect of the nights, which were an important part of some of the Mash nights, all of the parts in between the performances. Perhaps the acts could be inside the group more, like a 'happening' or spontaneous show. This is another balance between a staged, rehearsed performance, and an improvised, loose performance. Loose implies interactive, which normally feels better for the audience, but is less controllable, and less reliable; a bad audience might ruin the show, or at least transform it. Anyway, with ArtSwarm, the acts can choose what to do; anything goes.

Eleven people came in the end, plus Deb and I, too few to pay for the hall so I subsidised the costs a bit. I had decided that I would stop hosting these when this happened, but I nearly broke even, and also feel that this is an important thing for local arts, and (more selfishly) that I'm still learning and want to do more. A lot of local groups and meetings seem to have stopped or paused this month, so I think I should push on, and after the dark winter months, perhaps the events will grow again. Next time I will have a projector of my own for acts to make use of, another reason why I thought I'll organise another show.

I got home at 11pm, tired out after lugging around the heavy equipment. A sleepless night of shivers and exhaustion, I need to find a way to eat and drink enough during these nights; I assume this is the problem. I was up early this morning to take the freezing box of bus to Macclesfield for a day as a volunteer shopkeeper in the Macc Art Lounge. A few sales today (not mine) on a busy Treacle Market day, but not exceptionally busy in the lounge according to John.

Art sales are difficult now it seems. It seems that people buy these things for decoration, no regard to the artist or artistic development or knowledge. Is this due to the mechanisation of creation? Is this ignorance about the arts? Is this always, has this always been, the case with contemporaneous art? Hindsight creates masters, not current knowledge. I'm more confident than ever of my artistic path, busy, inspired, more skilled, full of new ideas, goals, targets.

I must get Burn of God finished. It's dragging on and is difficult.

Macc Lounge, Wave-Field

A long day in the Macc Art Lounge today, a very cold and quiet day, with 10-20 visitors or so, which is a typical Thursday. Spoke to a few people and the artists. The creative output and choices were in hanging some new abstract paintings. Almost all of the paintings in the shop are abstract or landscape, this is what sells in a commercial setting like this. People are broadly looking for decoration of the right quality and price, the artist, and the investment in the art itself, is a secondary factor.

Returned home and went to the first evening of Wave-Field, some musical see-saws in the Lyceum Square. These are fun, they are simply see-saws which light up when used and play sounds. It appears to have been thought up as a clever idea, with no artistic value or comment; the creator is (apparently) an architect with little interest in art itself. This is interesting in a field where hyperbole and all sorts of nonsense is written about art. Of course, this writing is important. No writing about the artistic content does not mean the art is meaningless.

There are many things Wave-Field could be about in an artistic sense; the saws, in a row, made me think of digital sound waveforms, and this was reinforced by the strange electronic sounds. The installation is sold as an interactive social experience for strangers or friends, but well, every and any see-saw is that. It made me think that a plain see-saw could have been called an art installation a few hundred years ago. Ultimately though, any creation always reflects the personality and emotions of the creator (or group of creators, a group can have a personality and emotion); so even the coldest and most technical construction can be touching and 'be art'.

This is a strange creation. It's steel and plastic and LED lights; as steely as something from a 90s Star-Trek series, or a Paul Verhoeven film. The sounds are curious digital squalks and squelches like a robot's belchy intestinal sounds. The writing speaks of social interaction, but it feels strangely alien, something like Marvin the robot (he wasn't an android) from the BBC Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy series. Perhaps, Wave-Field is about alienation, a seeking to connect with humanity in a digital world. Perhaps the see-saws are bones or nerves of hope.

There is probably an element of this being the result of a new type of art that is not there to satisfy the artist, or to touch an individual, but crafted for a strange amalgam of public service, practical entertainment, spectacle. Perhaps this process is the alienating force, but Wave-Field is not a warm beast, it's a buckled, silvery conduit for communication, a clonky, imperfect, social medium.

Confession

More work on Burn of God. The progress is Sisyphean, achingly slow, but I have about 30 minutes made now. The album is strange, includes speech, prayers and I'm not sure if I even like it. Perhaps this is a good thing, as all of the best art, music in particular, takes time to like. I must complete it anyway and must fight, must do my best. I will certainly learn something, and already have made great strides in learning vocal production techniques. I've added a lot more vocals in the past week. The key to singing is to use as little breath as possible, and no tension above the waist. The abdominal muscles control breathing for singing because they are fast and responsive. I can understand the similarity between singing and piano playing. I am still very much learning.

Here are the lyrics to Confession, a fast rock, drum-n-bass, Prodigy; rip-roaring ride of a song.

Confession

Listen boys and girls we're gonna find out your sins today
The eye of God is on you
Watching everything you do

Go there to that solemn place
bow your heads and pray
think of all your bad deeds
and beg forgiveness from
the priest

Jesus is giving
Jesus is kind
Always keep Jesus in your mind
Jesus will cure you
Of everything naughty
But if you try to hide
you're gonna get caughty

Oh...

Listen!

Enter the confessional, kneel upon the floor
everything is secret there
every word is like a prayer
tell the priest how bad you've been
tell him every sin
he'll write up a prescription
a punishment to save
your skin

Sigh, Programming

One of those wasted, pointless days when something old and computer related gets updated, instantly destroying your old work. Today I updated my websites to use the latest PHP version. There are only a few changes, mostly to the database access code and the shopping cart systems.

But, I have 7 websites (my main art site, IndieSFX, Lost in Flatspace, Pentangel Books, Cornutopia Software, Cornutopia Music and Bytten Reviews) and each has several pages, sometimes several hundred. My main art website has over 1000 pages alone (not counting one page that can show several things; my painting page for example can show any painting, if I counted all of those as separate pages, my site would easily be 2000 to 4000 pages large). Each page that accesses a database needs updating and that means hundreds of lines of code that need changing, all just to stand still and produce a website that was, at best, exactly the same as it was before. This sort of nightmare situation is something every programmer must simply tolerate. Perhaps my years of doing things like this was training to work for no reward!

Fortunately, I have created a program that can search and replace a specific text stream, and search for it across a folder of files and, also fortunately, I tend to use the same code across each site, so I've used this to batch convert all 3000 or so files and, in each, search for the five troublesome lines that need transforming. Then I needed to make a few changes to the shopping cart, but this had to be done by manual search and replace in each file.

It's taken all day to get back to where I started, but now everything is updated to the latest version. A few odd symbols now appear on my site; characters like é and £ now need the correct HTML, but these are minor issues. Apart from that no creative work was done and it's been a frustrating day. I hardly feel like an artist. I must rush my music through, but it feels like I'm pushing through a thick soup that goes thicker as I push harder (a dilatant colloid?). I must work at it, work harder, push against these forces.

Framing

Framing today, a simple matter of measuring the artwork, sawing the pine framing with a fine-toothed veneer saw, using 8 exact cuts. One mm too long or too short would make the frame out of line, so generally these cuts need to be 0.5mm accurate. Then distressing the surface with a wire brush, sanding, staining, glueing, clamping and stapling the frame. Leave 24 hours to dry.

In the mean time, measure and cut a backing board from 3mm MDF. Mark mount-board for the spacer, using the frame recess as a guide, cut an aperture to make the width of the spacer 7mm or so. Laser-print the labels, adhere one to the rear of the artwork stating title, medium, date. Then measure glass using the recess of the frame, score with your Toyo glass cutter and snap.

Next day, unclamp the frame. Mark holes for fixings; mirror plates or D-rings, by measuring the appropriate distance down and using a scratch awl to mark the centre points, then drill with a 2.5mm drill. Varnish the frame, sand and retouch, revarnish, or paint if needed.

Once dry, polish the glass with glass cleaner or methylated spirits and assemble in the frame, followed by the spacer, painting, backing board, removing dust as you go. Check the image from the front for dust and that all looks well. Apply pins to hold the painting in. Add optional framer's tape all the way around the edge to form a dust seal (I tend to avoid this stage because it can look messy and make disassembling the frame awkward and damaging). Apply the second label to the back. Screw in fixings, tie nylon hanging cord, apply masking tape to loose ends of the string.

Prime Numbers, Macc Lounge, Ears

Yesterday began early with the launch of Future Snooker, this involved a few technical clicks plus several basic messages and emails, and a newsletter sending. This had to be complete before 8:15 when I had to leave for the Macc Art Lounge, to help set up the shop. It seemed to take hours to set up but I had an enjoyable time in the fragments of retail space, and spent time getting to know the abstract artist Diane Nevitt. Both bus journeys took nearly two hours on this epic day.

In the evening, I noted down some millisecond timings for my new 'choroleight' audio effect. Audio effects need prime numbers because otherwise delays will reinforce. This made me think that prime numbers are essential for every digitisation and every quantisation process, and are probably vital in quantum mechanics for this reason; the primes might constitute unresolvable infinities, and the non-primes something more concrete, a better, more attainable area, due to this reinforcement.

Today was a full day, and began at 8am with programming the audio effect, which sounds amazing, I'm so pleased with it. Then a long bus trip full of the drama of an olde worlde ocean voyage; a 15 minute breakdown in the middle of the road, a bus switch-on-and-off-again, then a winding country lane flowing with a slow trickle of traffic, a horse and cart at its snake of head.

The day was mostly spent hanging work; a large cluster of paintings to hang on every space. John Eastwood, John Gardner, Ché Finch, Clare Allan, Brian Law and Diane Nevitt were all present or visited during the day, and the shop looked sparkly and ship-shape at the end of Saturday, and a trickle of visitors popped by too, with a two small gifts and one art sale today. Here are some of us at the end of the day:

I left just after 4pm, and at home guzzled food and responded to Future Snooker duties (the game was launched yesterday on Steam, this involved a few technical clicks plus several basic messages and emails), then off to a friend's party and some lovely relaxed social time. I have a totally different personality at every party and today was quiet and enjoyed chats with one or two friends. The music was too loud. I must state for the first time that, since excessive earache during childhood, my hearing has been sensitive and painful to even moderately loud noises. It's somewhat amazing that I should have become an audio engineer when my doctors predicted hearing damage back then, but perhaps this has made me take care of my hearing that bit more. We somewhat sadly left early due to the noise, and my tiredness, it has been a long day.

Now to rest my aches. Tomorrow I will brave the freezing rain to urgently make a new frame for an older painting.

Art Lounge Setup

A good but long day setting up art at the Macc Art Lounge. Little time to work on Choraleight, the new audio effect I'm developing which sounds very like multi-layering many vocals and uses a chorus of voices based on prime numbers. Ché invited Deb and I to perform there, to launch Deb's book and add a party atmosphere, so we are booked to put in a Fall in Green show at the Macc Art Lounge on December 14th.

I'm back there tomorrow all day, but I'll have to remember to launch Future Snooker in the early morning before I go, and might get behind a little on those essential game developer duties. I've also heard from the Euston Station staff about a separate book signing event in November, will await developments.

Things feel rushed, but I like this high-energy mode, I tend to drive myself crazy with only one mere job. Soon I will miss Burn of God, so much keep working at it and set myself a tight deadline. The immediate events due this month are the Rainbow Arts performance night on the 21st, the Cirque du ArtSwarm night on the 23rd, Carol Finch's book launch on the 30th (which will include a Marius Fate performance, and my 800W sound system and electronic instruments). The 30th is also a launch day for a new shop opposite the Art Lounge, so it would be good to be in Macclesfield and still get home in time to set up the P.A. system and instruments etc. at the Memorial Hall. I fear this is an impossible ideal.

Onward.

Art Lounge Preparations

A busy day, starting with preparations for setting up work at The Macc Art Lounge. The last time I was there was in 2016, where I visited Macclesfield just about every week to help staff the shop, and took part in every exhibition. Here's photo from back then.

The shopping centre was undergoing renovations at the time and the use of the Lounge space was on a rolling contract. Throughout the year, the brilliant managers Ché Finch and John Eastwood were never sure if the space would be in use, and certain that the place would close at the end of 2016, but the deadline kept being pushed back at the last moment. Amazingly, the shop has kept going since. I asked to return in autumn 2017 after being told that I would 'always be welcome' back, and felt hurt not to even be replied too, but I feel pleased to be asked back for November and December.

I've no idea how much space I'll have, so I'll bring a selection of paintings based on how many I hung last time, and a range of prices, mostly in the lower bracket with a few 'showcase' paintings. One big change since 2016 is the framing, I've re-framed most of my paintings so they look much more stunning than before. The Sunset with Rose Petals, for example, now has glass and a black and gold gloss frame. I'll also show a Richard Dadd print; I've sold five of these limited edition prints at the Art Lounge in the past.

As well as packing work, price lists and labels need to be made, hanging tools packed and the day documented for future reference.

Not much time today for other work but I managed to buy presents for my mum and aunt's (they are twins) birthdays. I'm also toying with a new chorus effect which uses eight voices that rotate at specific frequencies. This is a distraction; I know I should get back to music, but for some reason I am a little unmotivated.

I'll visit Macc at least once per week until Christmas, a long and somewhat costly bus trip both ways, but this will be a change to my routine and I'm rather looking forward to it. Since the end of the monthly 'Mash' nights, I've hardly been to Macclesfield and I've gradually lost touch with any artist friends as there is no art community here, except any I might build myself.

Brother

Here is my poem for the Nantwich Speakeasy I wrote on Monday. Kevin Emson and others pointed out how close to a war memorial it was, but that was pure accident. I had in mind school friends, the generation we are lumped with at random, and must sail with through life.

Brother

I rest and recall childhood
a land of mists,
misremembered hills of moss
and lost voices.

The comrades there,
pushed together to train
to survive the seas of a hard journey
towards shrouded monoliths.

With jingle bells we trot together
bemused at the younger and older ones.
Equal gifts are unwrapped
for our fun.

I turn, and find myself alone
among the stone.

Lullaby From Your Cells

A slow day that started with a dark tiredness, listlessness. I awoke with stomach pain and wondered if the stomach represents a connection to the world, as though Bergman's effusive stomach was an outpouring of something. Mine is more knotted, contemplative perhaps. The moronic politics of lying, blame, and selfish bitterness in Britain, and the wider world, at the moment, would sadden anyone, but ignoring these fools is the best option. Politics is an essence of gossip and ego, the domain of the loudest cackling moron, and yet these squabbling idiotic chickens can have power over us all.

To art. I started to day by recordings some vocals for one of the Burn of God songs, Lullaby From Your Cells to Your Mind, which is the Bach-like Air On A G-String sort of tune. It's a song sung by cells. Cells, this community of creatures, perhaps perceive our overall consciousness as a sort of god-being:

Sleep and rest your tired mind and dream of a better day, our god, dream of the people of your world who struggle for your love.

Like most of my words, the poetry is more important than how the fit musically; unless I'm working on a specific pop-song that is. There are an infinity of choices and structures available to choose from.

I then re-framed a print of The Paranoid Schizophrenia of Richard Dadd, print number 12 of 100. I framed this yesterday, but there were slight dots of white dust in the frame (the framer's regular curse!) so I just had to take it apart and reframe it. This uses mirror plates to hold the print in place, which is both secure and kinder to the frame and materials than nails or 'points'. I sold a photographic print years ago and for reasons of correct limitation have designated that print 13, so the one after this will be print 14.

This afternoon, worked on the Kyrie intro again, adding some monk-chant like vocals, and finalised the production of the Confession song, although the vocals are to do. The song is in B-flat minor, partly because the next song starts in that key, and I wanted to preserve this flow.

Then, wrote a poem for tonight's Nantwich Speakeasy poetry group. I like this groups because we talk about the poems rather than merely read, and generally have just one poem each. A lot of poetry groups can be a bit ego driven, people really reading too much of their own work and not caring about others. A large group with a small number of poems works better, although, it necessarily means a very varied quality, but then, we can each choose our favourites.

I'm keen to get this album out of the way as soon as possible. Perhaps I'm too impatient. Life is learning, training, exercising, fitness, becoming better, and these things are best done slowly and with rational consideration. Nothing too fast, nothing too slow but at the most efficient place. If the album takes a year, at its most efficient, then that is the right time. No must has taken me this long, but learning new skills and pushing to new areas necessarily takes time. Nothing easy is good. That which is difficult is good.

Kyrie Vocals and Macc Art Lounge

Two days of steady work. I realised that small additions to work can be a lot less stimulating or encouraging than making large changes, or rushing out something finished. A lot of my music now, my art generally, unless I'm very lucky takes a lot longer than in did, but that's because I simply, literally, spend more time on it, to make it better than that which has come before.

Yesterday began by recording the vocals for the Kyrie, 40 layers of vocals in the end, which produced a wonderfully smooth sound. Each layer was 30 seconds long, so that's a lot of data and processing to edit together. A female voice an octave higher would probably have suited the song better, but the results are good enough, remarkable for a song made on a computer, actually. Blessed be Prometheus.

In the evening I started on the next song (the kyre still barely half complete), a fast drum and bass or rock style song called Confession. It's so fast that it was all over in 45 seconds, but more was needed and a mid section came to mind, a twangy slow section in 3/4 time. the song is about a first confession, and being instructed in this, so I included the word naughty to recollect childhood and as some light relief from the otherwise sinister feeling, and to push the effect further I rhymed it with 'caughty' meaning caught later; truly surreal.

Lots to do on both songs, and I feel I'm making so so slow progress on it all. I've been offered an opportunity to show paintings in the Macc Art Lounge soon, which will be a lot of work but it's a perfect time for this, so it seems that the next eight weeks or so will be busy with some painting retail duties, assuming this all works out.

Perhaps I'll re-record The Infinite Forest too, a project for next year. My skills and instruments are much better now than the ones in that old album, and I could work on some new 600dpi artwork for a possible CD (there are less than 20 copies of the current CD-R burned album, very few have been sold, but one or two have I think, at places like the Macc Art Lounge, or other public events).

Kyrie Eleison

The end of a few listless days of programming and the angst and self-avoidance of creative work. A few bugs found in my music software, mainly related to effect buffers, and one naughty one about division-by-zero when copying a blank engine, I'm back to music.

I spent an hour or two last night, visualizing and feeling how I want the album to move next. I had been stuck partly because of dead ends, which when pursued, can linger in the mind, a desire to finish them or use them, but there are times when the best option is to discard. I've had a few false starts with this section.

The first 'movement' (well, the first few songs) lead to a natural gentle close, and the next step, the start of the next section always felt like it should grow from darkness, like the sparkles around the creature in Night of the Demon, or the golden letters in Rembrandt's Belshazzar's feast. I also wanted a Christian Catholic section in the album. I could make some general comments about god-ness and beliefs, but my experience is this, and this is where the emotion must come from. I can't be emotional about analysis.

I've spent the morning working on the entrance of God the father, as stated, something like Zadok. The goal chord was D minor, the broad tonic of the album, so I began with it and migrated away on a wandering journey, in steps like something from The Spiral Staircase. The hard part is adding a melody, the right amount if it, of sorts to simple two-syllable words and powerful chords that generally lack the need for melody, but without it, music is nothing, it's a void.

Anyway, the chords are complex:

But the music is progressing well. The key part, with sequenced music, is to work dry and simple, so that the melody and the mix of notes are clear and as simple and efficient as possible. I never use any form of equalisation to balance music, merely melody and the timbre and loudness of the instruments, and I keep effects to the optimal level, which, when composing, is as few as possible. After this, space can be added and the feeling of each note sculpted.

After this orchestral choir music, the music will jump into drum and bass, or something like it, a high speed rock song about confession.

Wednesday

Started the day with coding, first locating every time I'd used the 'Moog VCF (mono)' engine, which has now been superseded by a stereo version (I chose mono because it was originally faster, but after testing it was nearly the same speed anyway, so I replaced it years later). It turns out that about 150 songs use it. No matter, the new 'conversion matrix' feature can automatically find and replace it upon loading, so for the first time I have all-new and all-recent plugins.

I also found a memory accumulation bug, which has probably been in there for 15 years or so, since inception. Suffice it to say that deleting an instrument didn#t free up the effect buffers for it. Not disastrous, as these are shared anyway, but it would mean this area would grow over time, if songs were repeatedly loaded and saved. Anyway, now fixed.

Then started on a tune called Kyrie, which has a rambling, Indian raag sort of mood. It's one of my first where I played some live guitar on it, but it's all very hard work; the timing is essential in such tunes, they are easily boring and the climax must be amazing. I have in mind Zadok the Priest, and it must at least sound close to this (I expect Beethoven had a bit of it in mind for his Kyrie too).

A second day of headache. I've started to take Phosphatidyl Serine tablets, which are supposed to be good for memory. After two days, I can just about remember their name, so they have worked. I think the headache is stress related more than Serine related. The tension of trying to finish this music, but now the software is updated, so I have no excuses. The next step is to make a clear list and plan.

In other news, the first video for Future Snooker is on YouTube, and is excellent. I'm hopeful that the game will be a success.

Music Coding Updates

Busy couple of days back programming (and, yesterday morning, ArtSwarm filming, editing, uploading).

The problem with software upgrades is that sooner or later, things get superseded, and a lot of my programming updates this time are about trying to tidy up old song files. I have about 1000 pieces of music, and some of the older ones use obsolete effects or plugins. This is fine, except that over time, the number of old ones starts to grow, and eventually the software is more complex than it needs to be, filled with plugins and effects that shouldn't be used or needed nowadays. The efficient solution is to tidy them up, seek every old file and replace the old things with new things, but this is a big job, so I've been coding a few functions to help with this.

There are a couple of options. One is an automatic translator, so that upon loading, one effect can be swapped with another. For this I've used a script, so you can sort of program what to swap with what. This has a few other uses, in that you could use it to, for example, swap all of the sine waves in a song for saw waves, or do other things. This operates on a song by song basis, and so it's ideal for mass updates, but is still useful when replacing (or accidentally finding) obsolete things.

I have one plugin "Tuned Flange II" which doesn't even exist any more, either in my code or the software. I thought I rarely used it, and that I never would again, but it turns out I used it quite a lot. It's essentially a 'combed' flange effect, that is lots of delays (7 I think), each slightly different, and all, on average, centered around the frequency of the note being played. When applied to white noise, for example, it creates a breathy tone, a bit like ghostly pan-pipes (you can hear it in a tune of mine called The Train, and the Dance of Spring from The Twelve Seasons). I need to create mock version of this effect so I can replace it with newer, more efficient, versions.

Anyway, my second helper function is to search a pile of files to look for problems. This will list all of the plugins used in there. This could be used as a global 'instant tidy' option, but automatically converting and saving over 15 years worth of music is risky, something might get lost or converted incorrectly, so this merely displays information.

This is all part of cleaning, tidying, organising, sorting. This takes a lot of time, a seemingly endless task. I love tidying and organising (I've surmised often that this is the purpose of life and intelligence itself), but it can harm new, original creative output, which is another vital goal of life. Hopefully I can get these changes done soon, then move back to art.

ArtSwarm and Prometheus

A slow day. Started by compiling the new ArtSwarm show, converting new videos and editing the audio for some, this took until lunch. Then music work, completing the string tune from yesterday, and trying to push forward on the album.

In the evening, I decided the reprogram my software, adding a few features mainly to help with tidying up old songs. The first feature was to expand phrases, which are tracks that are full of notes that are repeated often, for example a drum-loop, so that you can point to the phrase track as a shortcut rather than typing the same notes over repeatedly. I used to use these a lot more than I do now, particularly for repetitive tracks; you might have a bassline that is identical throughout the song for example, but now I hardly use this feature because I tend to craft every note individually. Even when the notes are technically the same, the timing, the volume, and the feeling are different each time in a piece of music, so now my music takes more time to make but is less mechanical.

Yesterday, looking back at the some The Infinite Forest music, I thought that it would be nice to remake it, but the notes in each phrase track would need to be manually copied where it was used, which would take hours, so I've added a feature to automatically expand and copy all of the notes in all of the phrases used in a song.

This programming is a distraction tactic so that I can avoid thinking about composing. I'm most productive when working on several things because one thing is too powerful and too intense. The ideas are too thick and overwhelming to allow themselves to be used, so I need to work on several jobs at once. More coding tomorrow, while the music stews.

I'm listening to Genesis' Trick of the Tail for the first time which is inspiring. Phil Collins' voice on the album sounds remarkably like Peter Gabriel's, and if anything, better. Still, I think the golden age for Genesis was this foursome or the fivesome, rather than the later, less varied, output.

Saw Strings

A difficult night last night, with stomach pain and sleeplessness. I did make notes about the music, at times still a prisoner of the failed parade music. Of course, anything will actually do, anything half-decent will fit fine in the album, but half-decent isn't enough! I listened to the opening to the Missa Solemnis in the night, and thought of a more up-beat opening to the Catholic Christian section of the album. Originally the doubting priest part comes near the start of this, before the guilt-based Dark Night Watchman, but now I think an entry by God might work well first. Now it's a matter of doing it.

The main work of the day, if only to distract myself, is to complete the Future Pool soundtrack, but I also wrote a piece of music which is a bit like Bach's Air on a G-String. My version uses a simple principle of starting high, then dropping an octave at the repeat, and playing a new high melody over the top, then repeating this, until four voices are playing.

It sounds nice, but the string sounds need to be very good for something like this (oh for some real players!). I often toy with saw-wave based strings, and these sound better than ever now, very close to real strings in the upper and mid ranges, but not at all in the lower ranges where they buzz and flange like a Commodore 64 SID tune and don't remotely have the growl and loveliness of real a cello or contrabass. Perhaps a lot more layers are needed; upper strings are very pure, but lower ones have a lot of gravelly noise.

Admin

More Future Snooker and Future Pool work today, so pleased that I decided to work on the soundtrack. Each game will have a selection of tracks. I've also sent out some preview copies.

The other main job of note was setting up a new MixCloud account as it seems that the ArtsLab playlist on RedShift Radio has been deleted, so I've created my own account to create new playlists. More disturbing is that five shows appear to have been deleted too. It appears that one can upload music to MixCloud anyway, so I might have the option of merely hosting the old programmes myself. Having one giant feed for RedShift Radio, rather than one per show, is bonkers. Nobody would want to subscribe to every show, but many people might like to check out specific programmes.

RedShift have announced that they are ending live broadcasting (nobody listened, never in my years there did more than 10 people tune in) and switching to a podcast format. They should have done this years ago, I think, but live radio is more exciting, even if nobody actually tuned in, in practice. With a podcast format, anyone could make the shows at home, and thus avoid the studio all together. In a way, its the beginning of the end of the station, but of course, there is something to be said for grouping together (although I've just argued that grouping together in one account is silly).

The Future Snooker Soundtrack

A slow couple of days. I had the idea for a new music piece for the album yesterday, and began the day working on it. I imagined a trail, like a caravan of gold and jangles, but the song itself, which I largely outlined at 4am after waking from a nightmare, felt a bit too comical and the unusual instrumentation proved difficult to get right.

Today has been an emotional struggle to get into things. The solution is to make rational goals. I decided to work on a new soundtrack for Future Snooker and have developed 12 tracks, all of which are edits of previous work. I chose about 20 originally, but my old music now seems so simplistic; so crude and loud and emotionless. The newer, more gentle and deep tracks really stood out, and they reflect my current music better. That's the sort of music I'd like people to hear, and it does go well with a game like snooker.

Listening to my music from The Infinite Forest now, it sounds so electronic, harsh and buzzy. The composition is fine, it would probably sound great played by an orchestra, of course. Nowadays I'm much more skilled at crafting more realistic, or at least evocative sound. I've used two tracks from that album in the Future Snooker soundtrack, and for The Talking Butterflies I reworked it with some of the new features of my software that makes it easier to add this human touch.

My software, originally called NoiseStation II, and now Prometheus, has grown bit by bit over many years and its features continue to improve. A lot of the craft of musicianship, or painting, or anything, is not in leaps, but in incremental tiny steps, each of which makes things a little bit better, tasks a bit faster. For this reason it's important to note these procedures, to hold on to what you have learned. In software we have to be aware of adding functionality without adding complexity. Each new feature can add more complexity; more menus, more to learn, more to complicate the super-fast excitement of wanting to get the idea down. Ideally, a feature can open up a new world without that. At its most basic, you should be able to do everything that is possible without the need for a special menu option for it.

How frustrating it feels to have a back-catalogue I can barely bring myself to listen to. The solution is to make more new music, to overwhelm the mere 20 albums or so with 40 or so new ones, so I'm pleased at least that the Future Snooker music will at least reflect my current musical direction and state.

This afternoon I've completed the programming side. Every new level (frame) will start with new music. The music isn't very long, about one or two minutes per track, and then leads to silence. For a game of strategy, silence is often preferred. There are twelve tracks in total, and many are relaxing, drifting music, so hopefully a few players will keep them on the playlist.

More Album Work

Working steadily away on the album today but I feel I've hardly done anything. There's a lot of correcting and refining, redrafting and refining that takes a lot of time, but is important. This time can be used to think over next steps. I've modified one old track called The Dark Night Watchman, slightly made the intro and ending less happy, to match a mood of being watched. The original title was inspired by the old narrative from a surrealist film, but now it magically matches a new idea of being watched by god; god as arbiter of morality, and guilt. Maybe guilt is worth exploring further. The rhythm of the Great Grandfather song, which has clock and bell elements reappears here with church bells and hammering at the door.

These old piano tracks are a little drifty and romantic, even when discordant or dark. I must keep things under enough control. I now have five tracks at the start (although the first is an intro of a few seconds), and seven in total, including the last 'epilogue' track. I'll try to find creative material in those to use earlier on to add more unity and structure to the entire album. Do I need movements and sections? Last night I decided that the album should be all set at night, in bed, with dawn at the end. It should create a Christmas Carol-type haunted feeling.

There is a lot I cam say about religion generally, I can ask and answer a million questions, as I did for The Modern Game, but I'd hope for something more unified and natural, authentic, somehow, rather than an arbitrary collection of ideas.

Great Grandfather

More work on the Burn of God album today, and a track currently called Great Grandfather. The mood begins slowly and gently, a bit like Kate Bush's Watching You Without Me perhaps. The chords in the explosive chorus are delightfully odd; FM, CM, G#M and C#M. This leads to a solo in A Major and D minor, which creates a strange mood, not joyous as I'd imagined, but more sleepy or reflective.

This will lead into the existing track Lost, which has musical links to the earlier track, so there is enough unity so far.

Now I have to work out where to go. Creating one unified structure is difficult when exploring a theme. Perhaps I need a definite narrative, perhaps like A Curious Feeling, but the more of a story and album has, the less chance it can have to address specific questions or issues. Perhaps I need to consider the musical climax, or a narrative climax.

Steady Progress

A sleepless night of stomach pain, and through it the music to The Great Conveyor went round and round my head, as will inevitably happen with a new tune. A poor way to spend the extra hour. It's made today tiring and frustrating for no other reason, but I've continued work as I could and made some achievements.

First; re-editing the Alice interview to set the audio in sync. It appears that FreeMake has a bug in the conversion which causes audio to slip out of sync. A direct extraction of the audio from my camera was slightly longer in time than the separate audio recording. Perhaps the hardware is at fault. It becomes a problem with any video over about four minutes in length, and at the maximum of 17 minutes it's rather serious. I managed to digitally shrink the separate audio recording to compensate, but the maths is irrational. The reduction isn't, for example, the equivalent of 30 to 29.97 F.P.S. (which I might have expected, even though I'm not actually converting frame rates at all). It appears to be about half-way between, but not exactly. Annoyingly, the video is perfectly in sync as an avi or avs in VirtualDub, but when converting in FreeMake, the results are out of sync. Well, I've done all I can.

After that, more work on The Great Conveyor today, which is just about finished apart from the vocals, which appear to be in an unsingable range. It's an amusing point that I included a middle section to match the music of another track called Lost, but this one seems to want something else to follow from it, and I might not include Lost at all. During a walk I had the idea of waking from the dream to a ticking clock, and the voice of a dead relative.

This song starts with a bell and clock tick rhythm, a drone-like song that inevitably leads to a dramatic chorus. More work to follow this week. I may attempt The Great Conveyor vocals. I normally like to conclude vocal work on the entire album at the end, rather than one track at a time, but things might sound better if I make an exception.

I added a feature to my software a few months ago to set the internal tuning up or down as much as an octave, so in an emergency, I could re-tune the entire song in a click to make it easier to sing, but this would upset the structure of the whole album. A lot of it is in D minor, and should remain there. It would be easier to modify the melody, and the ideal is to expand my vocal range.

One other small thing done today is doubling the texture resolution in Future Snooker, which is set for a release next month.

Genesis and The Great Conveyor

Worked until nearly midnight on the Infinity song last night. The problem was the overall structure. The intro, verse and chorus worked well, then led into a moment of doubt, a third section which uses melodic elements from another song. The second verse followed, but if this led into a chorus again things started to sounded a bit repetitive, an ABCAB sort of structure, but the third section ideally needs exploring too and ABCABC is a bit simple.

My first draft used ABCAC which worked in an interesting way, but the B (the chorus) is worth hearing twice, and is an important part of the glorious, heavenly feeling. The problem is that it doesn't follow naturally from the third part, so the solution was to add a third verse, which then changed into a half-verse. The song is rather long at nearly seven minutes, and I'm concerned that there isn't enough variety of volume and power, or variety of tempo, it all feels rather uniform, but we are at the early stages. There is a lot more to do. Music takes me a lot longer to write these days because of these extra, final sculptural changes; these tweaks to contrast and to every note and piece of emphasis.

Overall, the song is the most Genesis-like song I've written, perhaps because of the synth leads and the guitars. It has elements of something from The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway; The Grand Display of Lifeless Packaging, or Counting Out Time, something like a trawl or walk, a conveyor belt, and indeed the title is now The Great Conveyor. My tune has more melody than those Genesis tracks. I like the overall conceptual idea of The Lamb, but prefer the music of other general Genesis albums like Foxtrot or Selling England by the Pound.

Have spent much of today filming and editing an interview with Alice Smith for Ink Pantry. Have also received the foreword to my future poetry book, The Burning Circus, from John Lindley. I feel honoured to include such words from such a great poet. John is one of few poets who can master forms and structure as well as language, meaning, feeling, imagery. His poems are like crafted cakes or miniature sculptures built from words; many contemporary poems now are very unstructured and loose, which is often an easy option.

I, Infinity

Hammering away with difficulty on an early track for Burn of God called I, Infinity (which won't be the final title). I realised last night that most of my albums, those that have an overall theme or narrative as opposed to those that are compilations of tracks, take the form of an image-driven journey. Each track on Synaesthesia, or The Spiral Staircase or The Love Symphony conjures images which unfold, one to the next, to tell a story. Although I always knew this on some level, the realisation was something of a revelation because I use this method to create ideas when writing and haven't thought about an image-centred way of composing music.

This has, in some ways, already helped with Burn of God, but it's not easy because I suddenly have more forces to juggle; the message, the feeling, the image narrative, the musicality and the musical structures. All of these battle each other, there are no right answers. As such, the day, like the week, has been frustrating.

I, Infinity is a simple enough rock song, similar to Coming Back to Earth from The Modern Game but it is too simplistic for my tastes. Any song with two parts is too simple; I find music needs three that can interplay. More than three can sound too busy, and less is too little material. These structural problems are easily solved, but I need to map out the overall message for the album. It feels messy to have so much complete and so many fragments without even that basic start. I feel I'm working backwards and inefficiently. Perhaps it would be easier to throw it away and start with something new, and I've thought that so many times over the past year, then I re-listen to what is there and conclude that it is worth pursuing.

Creative problems always need rational solutions; lists of faults to correct and methods to correct them. I feel I'm overthinking some aspects. I merely need to assimilate a list of themes and ideas, a list of musical styles and moods, then let the full structure appear by itself from this magical fog.

Diabetes, Burn of God, Modern Game Launch Day

A full day. Many dreams last night, at one point I dreamed of meeting chef Jamie Oliver during a party on a boat. I said that he should write a book about low sugar and low fat food. I then found a small cut in my arm, on the soft skin of my inner elbow. It had a tiny, white, worm-like thread coming out of it. I pulled it and a small brown slug was (somewhat disgustingly) pulled from my vein, then a second slug, also with it's white worm-like tail.

I awoke from this and had the idea that diabetes and other nutrition related diseases was due to the lack of hunger, rather than an excess of sugar. People are in a situation where hunger is rarely, or necessarily, tolerated, when it probably has many health benefits. I'm not sure what this has to do with the dream or what the dream was about.

Most of the day was spent working on the start of some music for Burn of God. The intro from yesterday is so dramatic that its energy doesn't match the quiet and mystical other tracks, so I thought I'd try a rock/blues song, which feels like it should follow naturally, like a long meditative train. I image albums as a story and series of scenes, and we begin alone in bed at night, so I thought that a door in the protagonist's mind is the next step; something like the Acid Queen scenes from Tommy. I recorded a few notes about the structure in the middle of the night. I've been listening to King Crimson, Cream and other jazz and improvisational influences recently, so this will influence this song. I've also just about completed work on the cover.

It's also the official launch day for The Modern Game today. I've made some preliminary updates to my website to reflect this. The books have arrived exactly on time, so the full folio versions of the album can go on sale. I've moved on so quickly that I'll not have time or incentive to work much more on this, but I will sell these art future live events. The music is now online globally, so at least people can find it, although they would probably have to stumble across it, as my voice is a tiny one in the vast wind of the Spotify-YouTube cosmos.

I could easily spend weeks promoting this (and Future Snooker and Future Pool), but after a short time doing this, I'm filled with anguish and it seems pointless. It's good music, and there are people out there who would like it, but trying to find them will be so very difficult that my time is probably better and happier spent creating new, good work. I will make some more videos for Marius at some point.